Ya know how mom’s often classify their selfs as titles such as, SAHM or WAHM meaning that they are “Stay At Home Moms” or “Work At Home Moms.”
Well, me? I’m a Smom, “Student Mom.” Yes, most of my life is classfied as SAHM but there is another part of my life that takes a lot of focus: School. Things happened out of order in my life, but that doesn’t stop me from pursuing my dreams. I’ve always wanted to attend college and earn a degree. Actually, I’m thankful I had a year off from college when I became pregnant because it forced me to stop and think what direction my life was taking me. It made me realize my true passion and talent is not in Social Work (I wanted to work with pregnant girls and birth mothers in the adoption area. There really aren’t enough counselors specifically in that area!) but is in writing.
After becoming pregnant though, school certainly was not on my mind. I had to leave college to be closer to family, figure out what the heck we were going to do at 19 years old, unmarried, and about to have a baby. Working obviously became top priority, those diapers, clothes, hospital bills, etc. definitely cost a lot!
Once Savannah was born, I was thrilled at being a mom. Of course, it took some time to get adjusted to the no-sleep demands, poop expositions and feeling like a milked cow 24-7, but being a mom brought so much joy. I did go back to work part-time when she was 3 months old, but still, school and a career were not on my mind. I was set on the routine of baby all night and day, occasionally work. I could have lived like that for the rest of my life, I loved being a mom!
Then one day it hit me though that I needed a back up plan. What if something happened to my husband, how would I support us? What about once our kids are in school and there are no more babies to tend to during the day, what will I do with my time? What about my own goals for life, isn’t it worth exploring those dreams beyond a family? And something really important to me: what will my daughter think if I just gave up simply because obstacles came along. I want her to be proud of me and all that I can accomplish.
And so, back to school I went. But don’t think I just packed up my book bag and abandoned my duties as a Mom. Not at all. I’ve made it a high priority to make time with my daughter first so I can be there to tuck her in at night, share giggles and sweet kisses. Thankfully, it’s worked out that I only go twice a week with a full day of classes, and I don’t have to work on top of school. Two days a week isn’t much of a time sacrifice! I finished my first semester back this past December and not only did I get through the classes…I made straight A’s!
So what can you do to help reach your educational goals and stay on top of things? I’ve learned many important lessons to help achieve success and make things a tad bit easier when life is pulling you in so many directions.
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As with anything in life, it takes organization. Not just the neat notebooks and pencil case, but time organization. I’ve found that since there is often limited time to get tasks done (i.e. during naps only!), use it. Use every minute you have effectively, don’t procrastinate.
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Prioritize what’s needs to be done. There are many days I have to just ignore the 4 laundry baskets begging to be folded and put away because a paper or test is looming over my head. Remind yourself what’s important right now and that it’s ok to let some things slide!
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Know your learning style. Since study and school work time is so crunched, I’ve learned the most effective way to study. Me? I’m more of a visual person. When I read from a text book, I have to take notes, and flash cards have become my best friend. I’ve also discovered I learn better using the computer. Those CD’s that come with text books or on line study guides and games? Awesome to me. So what if you’re more Auditory? I’ve heard of some people bringing a tape recorder to class so they can re-listen to the lecture at home. Try reading your notes out loud! If you’re more “hands on” then do just that. Obviously, this would vary from class to class, but try to apply the concept to an example or get an internship to help you get a real experience.
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Use any help you can get! I’ve been lucky to have my husband and his family to help take care of Savannah when needed. Some times a 2 hour nap isn’t enough to get a paper done or study for an exam, so they’ll help by giving me some extra time when they can. Support is crucial, if some one offers to help, take it! Especially financially, there may be some great financial aid to help pay for your education. Check out FAFSA.
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Treasure time with your family. Yes, those projects, papers, and tests seem to weigh heavily once your knee deep in classes, but don’t forget your family. They still are the true number 1!
A balance can be found between the roles of college student and mom (and whatever else defines you). And you can succeed at it! I can’t promise it’s easy, it definitely has its struggles and stresses, but I have found that school has only enhanced my relationship with my daughter and husband. Those hours away each week gives us time to refuel and miss each other, making our time together even more treasured and enjoyable. And you know what? It just feels good to push myself and work toward something worth while. It feels good to know I’ll have a back up plan, that I have something else to be proud of, and that I’m setting a good example for my daughter as she grows up.
You can do it!
