I don’ t know what it is about Christmas break, I get in this writing slump even though I have all the time in the world to actually write something. It happens every year!

What’s been happening?  Well, for starters I ended up with 4 A’s and 1 B as my final grades. I’m pretty happy with that, being my senior year (and I just like being good at things, okay?). I’m so excited to have just one more semester to go, I’m ready to get it started and be done for ever!

House wise– my brain doesn’t stop working thinking about paint colors and room layouts now.  We’re still waiting on getting the inspection done, but since the house is 3 years old I doubt (I pray) anything serious will be wrong so we can continue to move forward.  We feel so at peace with our decision, not just in the house, but location and even moving out earlier than planned. We are ready. So ready, that I already started packing. I thought I’d get a head start while I’m not in school and since I’ll be out of town visiting family and Victoria (!) for two weeks.

I’m sure I’ll be back, eventually, when the Christmas hub-bub is over. When the ridiculous amount of toys are opened and thrown everywhere, when we’re stuffed with good food and filled with joy.

God has been so good to us, I pray you have a blessed,  joyful, peaceful Christmas as well.

I’m starting to think there are certain stages of childhood that different parents can “do” better. Have you ever heard of that? I have some where before, and it’s certainly ringing true right now.

My ideal stage in parenthood? Babies. I can do the baby stage quite well. I feel like I was made to spend my days nursing, rocking, cooing, making baby food, changing diapers, making a little human smile, and teaching them basic things in life like how to roll over. I can do that, I love doing those thing. Yes, it’s a very tiring stage and physically demanding, but I feel like my personality better suites me in this “quieter”  stage and less mobility (this would make a great research paper idea, no?). I could just sit and rock Savannah for hours, or let her have tummy time while I folded laundry. I could also get more homework done and got better grades, strangely.

But, babies grow up. And this toddler business? Is kicking my mommy butt.  The attempt at discipline, the tantrums, the picky eating, the STILL not sleeping, the fight for independence, the arguing over everything, all the “Why, why, why’s!”, the screaming bloody murder when we have to leave public places. Savannah and I are constantly butting heads right now.  This day, this week, this month, has been a huge test and thank God I don’t get graded on my parenting. I would be failing, or at least I feel I would be (though others say I’m doing just fine and all this is normal). The terrible twos have arrived. And quite frankly, I hate it.

Mark though? He is much better at this toddler thing. He can do the disciplining, he has the playful energy and imagination that it takes. He can trick her into eating her meal and or leave the store without screaming. Sure, he gets frustrated at times too, but he thrives more as a parent during this stage than he did in the baby stage. I guess that’s what teamwork is all about, eh? Each of us have our strengths that balance out the other. Too bad he’s at work all day.

I won’t lie, some times I hate motherhood. And please, do not read that as hating my child. I can hate the motherhood duties some times, but I could never hate her for the person she is. The fact is, this work is hard. That’s real motherhood for you, folks.

And then…this motherhood life redeems itself in small ways and makes a hard day worth while.  Before bed tonight, Savannah laid in my arms and we made up a new game that left us both giggling.  Thank God for little moments. I would surely go crazy without a visit from Jekyll when all I’ve seen is Miss Hyde.

Senior year started last week, which is why I’ve been a little more quiet lately.  School semesters mean busy.  I’ve spent this past week reading not one but two novels (thankfully for two children’s literature classes, so they’re easy and enjoyable!), writing responses, and reading articles.  Most of my classes are very interesting and right up my ally so I’m enjoying it so far.

Oh, and the fact that I think Savannah’s nap time is over. Like, she’s done with regular naps forever. So that means I have little alone time to actually get things done. Perfect timing, huh?  I will probably at least make her have “quiet time” to rest where she can look at books and play quietly in her bed, but still an hour of quiet time versus the three hours she was napping is a lot less time to get things done! We did try to shorten her nap but that still didn’t always help her night time sleep. She was staying up until 10 or 11pm because she just wasn’t tired anymore after naps.  The past two days she has gone without naps and though we had a few whiny moments, she was relatively good and now? It’s 8:40 and she’s still sleeping! Over 12 hours!  Amazing. I suppose no naps has it’s pros and cons.

Cloth diapers are still going well. Mark even changed a diaper (it was even number two!) all by himself!  I was proud.  The micro insert stink issue I had, I solved by soaking just the inserts in bleach. That got everything out and has worked well to battle the smell so I’ll probably do that one a month to maintain it. I also think I wasn’t using enough Charlie’s Soap, I read that with Charlie’s you need the full scoop with each wash to really get things clean. Cloth diapering (and motherhood in general…) is a game of experiments. Each person has to find what’s right for them.

And just a reminder, tomorrow is the last day to enter for the Music Giveaway!

I finally got my speech together, and good thing since it’s happening tomorrow! I decided to not mention the adoption stuff yet, I’m not ready to feel that exposed and I’d rather get to know other people before I make that plunge. I decided to go off my “Smom” article and talk about my passion for writing and how family is what keeps me going reaching my dreams. I had to condense the article quite a bit to fit it under 3 minutes, but I think it will turn out well.

So here’s hoping I don’t get all tongue tied tomorrow! And thanks for all your suggestions and encouragement :-)

Whoa! I wrote this article back in February or so, submitted it, and never heard back from Hybrid Mom. I just found it through a search engine, and it was published on there! And some one commented :-)

I know it’s just a small step in a writer’s world, but it’s still exciting to know that some one else thought it was good enough to put up publicly. And, some one found it inspiring.

Well, it’s official:

Once again I say, glory be to God because I don’t know how I did it. Two semesters in a row. And, that I haven’t made straight A’s since elementary school so it’s not like this a common thing and that I pour myself into my studies constantly. Quite the opposite, actually, and yet some how God has used my brain as a sponge and soaked up the knowledge I needed.

I’ll also say again, it feels really good. Thank You, Lord.

My whole weekend was the best Mother’s Day weekend yet. It started out with the bonding time with Birth Mom Buds (and my Mom!) and then I came home to a super clean room (thanks to my husband!) and these beauties:

I had fun snapping pictures of them and came up with a beautiful natural light photo and then enhanced their beauty even more in photo shop. I think I’ll frame it. I haven’t received tulips before and I’ve fallen in love with them! On Sunday I woke up to a cheerful little girl who enjoyed snuggling with me. She was clingy and lovey all day, she must have known it was Mother’s Day. And of course, I’m left in awe at how fast she is growing. Look how long her hair is getting! We went to church where we watched a picture slide slow of all the Mother’s and children within our church. I proudly/bravely included not just me and Savannah, but me with Kaylee as well. Not many people know that I am a birth mother there (or many people in person, really), not because I’m ashamed but simply because where during a conversation does, “Hey! I’m a birthmom!” fit in, ya know? In a way, I hope people ask, “Who was that other girl in the picture?” so that I can gladly share my story. Anyway, that was my way of sending more love to Kaylee from a distance, that I love her and always thinking of her and that she’ll always be my first daughter who made me a mom.

The four of us, my Mom included, went to eat at the best hamburger and fries place we’ve ever eaten at. Five Guys, anyone? Then it was time to say goodbye to mi madre, but Mark and I had fun heading to the craft store for a project we’re working on. What project, you ask? Well, my sweet and thoughtful husband had the great idea to make me/us a scrapbook of our story for our 1st wedding anniversary that is coming up in one week (can you believe it?!). He originally was going to do it all him self, but the task got overwhelming and time was running out, so he told me about the surprise. Which, honestly, I’m glad he did because 1) How sweet is it to work on a project about love with your love? 2) Scrap booking is just fun.

And, for the cherry on top of my weekend? I’ve made straight A’s again (well, still waiting on one grade but it’s English and I’m positive it’s an A). A whole year of college, 9 classes in a row…I’ve made straight A’s. This little momma with a 15 month old, stress galore, little sleep and laundry mountains to climb has kept a 4.0 gpa. That feels pretty good, ya know? And all I can say is, glory be to God because I don’t know how I did it.

I hope your Mother’s Day weekend was as great and blessings filled as mine!

I’m giving a speech tomorrow for pregnant or already parenting young mothers, so I thought this would be appropriate to share on here. I’m not sure I have many mom readers that are thinking/wanting/are in school, but hopefully it will inspire some one.

Ya know how mom’s often classify their selfs as titles such as, SAHM or WAHM meaning that they are “Stay At Home Moms” or “Work At Home Moms.”

Well, me? I’m a Smom, “Student Mom.” Yes, most of my life is a classified SAHM but there is another part of my life that takes a lot of focus: School. Things happened out of order in my life, but that doesn’t stop me from pursuing my dreams. I’ve always wanted to attend college and earn a degree. Actually, I’m thankful I had a year off from college when I became pregnant because it forced me to stop and think what direction my life was taking me. It made me realize my true passion and talent is not in Social Work (I wanted to work with pregnant girls and birth mothers in the adoption area. There really aren’t enough counselors specifically in that area!) but is in writing.

After becoming pregnant though, school certainly was not on my mind. I had to leave college to be closer to family, figure out what the heck we were going to do at 19 years old, unmarried, and about to have a baby. Working obviously became top priority, those diapers, clothes, hospital bills, etc. definitely cost a lot!

Once Savannah was born, I was thrilled to be a mom. Of course, it took some time to get adjusted to the no-sleep demands, poop expositions and feeling like a milked cow 24-7, but being a mom brought so much joy. I did go back to work part-time when she was 3 months old, but still, school and a career were not on my mind. I was set on the routine of baby all night and day, and occasionally work. I could have lived like that for the rest of my life, I loved being a mom!

Then one day it hit me though that I needed a back up plan. What if something happened to my husband, how would I support us? What about once our kids are in school and there are no more babies to tend to during the day, what will I do with my time? What about my own goals for life, isn’t it worth exploring those dreams beyond a family? And something really important to me: what will my daughter think if I just gave up simply because obstacles came along. I want her to be proud of me and all that I can accomplish.

And so, back to school I went. But don’t think I just packed up my book bag and abandoned my duties as a Mom. Not at all. I’ve made it a high priority to make time with my daughter first so I can be there to tuck her in at night, share giggles and sweet kisses. Thankfully, it’s worked out that I only go twice a week with a full day of classes, and I don’t have to work on top of school. Two days a week isn’t much of a time sacrifice. I finished my first semester back this past December and not only did I get through the classes…I made straight A’s!

So what can you do to help reach your educational goals and stay on top of things? I’ve learned many important lessons to help achieve success and make things a tad bit easier when life is pulling you in so many directions.

• As with anything in life, it takes organization. Not just the neat notebooks and pencil cases, but time organization. I’ve found that since there is often limited time to get tasks done (i.e. during naps only!), use it. Use every minute you have effectively, don’t procrastinate.

• Prioritize what’s needs to be done. There are many days I have to just ignore the 4 laundry baskets begging to be folded and put away because a paper or test is looming over my head. Remind yourself what’s important right now and that it’s ok to let some things slide!

• Know your learning style. Since study and school work time is so crunched, I’ve learned the most effective way to study. Me? I’m more of a visual person. When I read from a text book, I have to take notes and flash cards have become my best friend. I’ve also discovered I learn better using the computer. Those CD’s that come with text books or on line study guides and games? Awesome to me. So what if you’re more Auditory? I’ve heard of some people bringing a tape recorder to class so they can re-listen to the lecture at home. Try reading your notes out loud! If you’re more “hands on” then do just that. Obviously, this would vary from class to class, but try to apply the concept to an example or get an internship to help you get a real experience.

• Use any help you can get! I’ve been lucky to have my husband and his family to help take care of Savannah when needed. Some times a 2 hour nap isn’t enough to get a paper done or study for an exam, so they’ll help by giving me some extra time when they can. Support is crucial, if some one offers to help, take it! Also, financially there may be some great financial aid to help pay for your education. Check out FAFSA.

• Treasure time with your family. Yes, those projects, papers, and tests seem to weigh heavily once your knee deep in classes, but don’t forget your family. They still are the true number 1!

A balance can be found between the roles of college student and mom (and whatever else defines you). And you can succeed at it! I can’t promise it’s easy, it definitely has its struggles and stresses, but I have found that school has only enhanced my relationship with my daughter and husband. Those hours away each week gives us time to refuel and miss each other, making our time together even more treasured and enjoyable. And you know what? It just feels good to push myself and work toward something worth while. It feels good to know I’ll have a back up plan, that I have something else to be proud of, and that I’m setting a good example for my daughter as she grows up.

You can do it!