3 years ago today at 9:22pm, a little girl entered our lives…

changing us forever.

I tend to sit and reflect on my children’s birthdays (or even my own). Birthdays aren’t just about celebrating for me, but a time to look back and see the growth, changes, and looking forward to what is to come this new birth year.

I honestly have a hard time remembering Savannah ever being that tiny newborn pictured above, or even as a toddling one year old.  It seems like we’ve always had this intelligent, curious, sassy little girl.

The two’s were filled with…well…two year old behavior. One minute she was my best little buddy and the next she was throwing a tantrum because it was time to leave the library. But even on a long, frustrating day there was always a redeeming moment that made the whole battle worth it; Like her falling asleep in my arms as if she was a baby again, or making up a new game before bedtime. Those moments are what keeps us Moms hanging on.

The two’s exploded our home with new words and an imagination that doesn’t stop, even at 2 am.  New skills emerged, like discovering her love to be crafty or cook like her momma, learning numbers and letters, how to build with blocks or finish puzzles.  The two’s brought new stories and voices (coming from the two year old mind/mouth) of princess dolls, Thomas the train, or anything she felt needed a voice. It seems like a new discovery was made every single day, it was a mind blowing year of development. It was the year we finally got sleep issues under control. The year she finally gave up the pacy and crib, officially becoming a “big girl.”

And now, we have a three year old. I imagine that means even more development, independence, and sassy attitude but I hope it also means more great memories as she blooms into the person she is.

Happy Birthday, Savannah! We love you, oh, so, very much.

My, how we’ve come so far in just 3 years.

As individuals and as a family.

Well, we’re finally here!

Welcome to our home:

We still have a ton of pictures and curtains to hang, but we’re here and we’ve gotten a lot done in just 5 days.  The rooms not shown are no where near as done. Our kitchen chairs are still not finished being painted white, we have a stroller in the kitchen (why?), I just was able to clear out the boxes in the play room/office a few hours ago, and Savannah’s room is a mess with a million stuffed animals, and every room is in desperate need of things on the walls.  But, it’s looking so good and we’re loving having our own space! After 5 days it’s starting to feel less like a hotel I designed and more like our home.

And, I have to brag on Savannah for a moment: She has done amazing with so many changes this week. Not just moving from the only house she’s ever known, but also moving out of her crib into a big bed AND saying goodbye to passy. All in one night!  I truly thought that giving up the passy would be the hardest, but she easily has forgotten about it without a single tear and has not asked for it since we told her the passy doesn’t come with her to the big girl room.  The only issues we’ve had is getting her to sleep the first few nights, understandably since it’s a whole new place AND bed. And then, she would wake up around 3am and be wide awake for 2 hours before finally giving into to sleep again (oh, the sleep deprived frustrations!).  I still think that’s minor to what it could have been, and thankfully each night has improved as she is getting even more comfortable. I can’t believe how grown up she seems in just the last few days, her third birthday is just 11 days away. Crazy!

And now, back to hanging and unboxing things…

I know, I know. Christmas was 3 weeks ago, and I’m just now getting to posting pictures?  Life is busy.

The high lights:

-Savannah got way too many toys. I guess that happens with a Dad who’s a kid at heart himself and many sets of grandparents.

-She got pretty much all things princesses. The only thing she asked for this year (she went right up and told Santa herself) was a Snow White dress.  We used this desire as a bribe to reward her for sleeping through the night (it worked!) and so Christmas she finally got it. It’s funny how much she loves princesses and yet she’s never watched any of the videos, fine by me.

-Mark’s big gift from me was Panther’s football Tickets. He’s a huge sports fan and didn’t think we could afford tickets right now. His face was priceless! (Once again, I love me some mommy board finds!)

-I got mainly house stuff for Christmas and loved every minute of it. Between gifts and giftcards, we’re almost all set to go now!

-We had our Kaylee Christmas visit, staying the night again.  Savannah and Kaylee had a blast playing  together, I love watching them and the friendship they have formed.  Kaylee is really possessive over Savannah being her “baby sister” and doesn’t like to share play time with her brother, poor Blake gets left out. Mark and I had fun hanging out with their parents as always.

-I gave Kaylee a photobook for Christmas that shares a little bit about her birthfamily. Most of it is my family of course since that’s what I have more access to, but I contacted Kaylee’s birthgrandma for some information about her Birthdad growing up I could include. I added a page or two or random facts like birthdays, where we went to school, our hobbies, eye color, etc. and also shared our dating story and some pictures.  Kaylee liked it, but was totally confused that her birthdad is not Mark.  Hm…don’t know how to explain that one to a 5 year old!

-And to end my winter break with a shabang, I had my visit with Victoria!  We had our week jam packed with things to do and it was a blast (exhausting, but a blast)!  I saw historical things like the Liberty Bell in down town Philadelphia, we went snow tubing in the Poconos (so much fun, everyone should go!), went bowling for her birthday, got our nails done (first time since I got married, what a treat), painted pottery, ate the most amazing burger and french fries I have ever had at The Pop Shop (it was on the Food Network, it’s that good!), and finally got to meet her birth family.  It was so much :-)

-I, however, decided I can ever live in the north because the drivers and the road designs (ie. lanes just suddenly ending with no warning signs) stresses me out way too much.  We seriously almost crashed 20 times.  I love my easy going south.

And the big news:

We close on our house next week!

I am unbelievable excited and have been shopping like crazy to get the rest of the house things we needed. We also bought paint tonight while it was on sale at home depot.  I cannot wait to see what a difference the paint makes. We just need a washer and dryer, food, cleaning supplies, and blinds and we’ll have a home :-)

The people: Mommy and Savannah

The scene: Savannah is playing with a Micky Mouse Train ornament while Mommy is watching her go around and around the coffee table saying, “Choo choo!”

The dialouge:

Mommy: *smelling something stinky* Savannah, do you have a poop?

Savannah: *gives me a funny look* No, that’s the coal. We don’t change the coal!

Apparently her and Micky train are one, and her poops fuel his engine. LOL!  Her imagination has really taken off in the past few weeks and it’s so fun to hear her take things she’s learning (like that trains need coal) or things she hears from us daily (like after her juice is gone she has to drink water) being interjected into her playtime.  It’s so funny!

I love being her Mom :-)

I’m starting to think there are certain stages of childhood that different parents can “do” better. Have you ever heard of that? I have some where before, and it’s certainly ringing true right now.

My ideal stage in parenthood? Babies. I can do the baby stage quite well. I feel like I was made to spend my days nursing, rocking, cooing, making baby food, changing diapers, making a little human smile, and teaching them basic things in life like how to roll over. I can do that, I love doing those thing. Yes, it’s a very tiring stage and physically demanding, but I feel like my personality better suites me in this “quieter”  stage and less mobility (this would make a great research paper idea, no?). I could just sit and rock Savannah for hours, or let her have tummy time while I folded laundry. I could also get more homework done and got better grades, strangely.

But, babies grow up. And this toddler business? Is kicking my mommy butt.  The attempt at discipline, the tantrums, the picky eating, the STILL not sleeping, the fight for independence, the arguing over everything, all the “Why, why, why’s!”, the screaming bloody murder when we have to leave public places. Savannah and I are constantly butting heads right now.  This day, this week, this month, has been a huge test and thank God I don’t get graded on my parenting. I would be failing, or at least I feel I would be (though others say I’m doing just fine and all this is normal). The terrible twos have arrived. And quite frankly, I hate it.

Mark though? He is much better at this toddler thing. He can do the disciplining, he has the playful energy and imagination that it takes. He can trick her into eating her meal and or leave the store without screaming. Sure, he gets frustrated at times too, but he thrives more as a parent during this stage than he did in the baby stage. I guess that’s what teamwork is all about, eh? Each of us have our strengths that balance out the other. Too bad he’s at work all day.

I won’t lie, some times I hate motherhood. And please, do not read that as hating my child. I can hate the motherhood duties some times, but I could never hate her for the person she is. The fact is, this work is hard. That’s real motherhood for you, folks.

And then…this motherhood life redeems itself in small ways and makes a hard day worth while.  Before bed tonight, Savannah laid in my arms and we made up a new game that left us both giggling.  Thank God for little moments. I would surely go crazy without a visit from Jekyll when all I’ve seen is Miss Hyde.

Life is busy as usual, hense the lack of writing lately.

Here’s the run down of the past 10 days:

1. Remember this post when Savannah was 18 months old?  Well, the girl has suddenly decided that it’s time for the big girl bed and she’s been it for the past week!  It only took…over a year…I think she’s one of those kids she has to decide to do something for herself (so stubborn, not sure where she got that?). I imagine potty training will be the same way.

2.Naps are completely gone. And I don’t want them back.  She was sick this week and took naps for the first time in over a week and it totally screwed up her night time sleeping. She would go to bed at 10 or 11!  Not cool. So no, I don’t want nap time back if it’s going to be like this. I’ll take “rest time” where she reads herself books if that means she’ll actually go to bed at night.

3. Like I said, she was sick and sleeping horribly. So was Mark. It’s been a rough week taking care of two “babies” plus another midterm. I nearly lost my frustrated-exhausted-mommy-mind one night and I felt like a failure of a Mom. But, things are better now all around.  I guess we all have those breaking points, huh? Thank God for new days!

4. Oh yes, and more sleep issues (how many times have I written about this topic?): She won’t go to sleep unless some one is sitting at her door. Then she wakes up between 2-3am and insists that we sit at her door again until she is asleep. And if we don’t? She will keep getting up realizing that we aren’t there. And then I’m so annoyed and tired that I end up just going to sleep in her room. In short? She won’t sleep unless I’m in there. She’s always “scared” even if she has a million lights on and we are in the same room. And yes, she did this same thing when in the crib, it was just easier to fool her then. What to do?

5. We’ve looking at our housing options for when we move in the spring. Which, is pretty darn exciting to think about, especially since it may be a realistic option to buy instead of renting or even build because of the economy right now. We’re in the beginning stages of all this, so if you’ve got advice, lets here it!

So, that’s life right now. Busy. 

I always have blog posts written out in my head, but they never make it to my keyboard. But, soon I hope to get up a blog post about mommy frustrations, modpodge shoes, feminism, adoption awareness month, more O Momma Recommendations, and whatever else life throws at me that’s worthy of writing about.

Enjoy your weekend!

Senior year started last week, which is why I’ve been a little more quiet lately.  School semesters mean busy.  I’ve spent this past week reading not one but two novels (thankfully for two children’s literature classes, so they’re easy and enjoyable!), writing responses, and reading articles.  Most of my classes are very interesting and right up my ally so I’m enjoying it so far.

Oh, and the fact that I think Savannah’s nap time is over. Like, she’s done with regular naps forever. So that means I have little alone time to actually get things done. Perfect timing, huh?  I will probably at least make her have “quiet time” to rest where she can look at books and play quietly in her bed, but still an hour of quiet time versus the three hours she was napping is a lot less time to get things done! We did try to shorten her nap but that still didn’t always help her night time sleep. She was staying up until 10 or 11pm because she just wasn’t tired anymore after naps.  The past two days she has gone without naps and though we had a few whiny moments, she was relatively good and now? It’s 8:40 and she’s still sleeping! Over 12 hours!  Amazing. I suppose no naps has it’s pros and cons.

Cloth diapers are still going well. Mark even changed a diaper (it was even number two!) all by himself!  I was proud.  The micro insert stink issue I had, I solved by soaking just the inserts in bleach. That got everything out and has worked well to battle the smell so I’ll probably do that one a month to maintain it. I also think I wasn’t using enough Charlie’s Soap, I read that with Charlie’s you need the full scoop with each wash to really get things clean. Cloth diapering (and motherhood in general…) is a game of experiments. Each person has to find what’s right for them.

And just a reminder, tomorrow is the last day to enter for the Music Giveaway!

We decided to go ahead with the dance class.  The studio’s open house was this past Saturday so we were able to meet the teachers and hear more about it. Savannah’s class will include ballet, tap, and creative movement (which is like dancing games) with other kids her age one day a week. She is so, excited as are we for her!  She starts next Monday so I’ve been scrambling to find all the things she needs like shoes and leotards without breaking our budget.

So, can I just make a recommendation here? Consignment shops: use them!  At the dance store the studio suggested I use I would have paid about $15 for ballet slippers, $22 for tap shoes, and about $16 for a leotard. For a 2 year old…that will out grow them in months I’m sure.  Our small town has two consignment ships near by and I was thrilled to find ballet slippers her size for–get this–$1.00!  I also go her two leotards for $7.00 (that’s two for half of the price!).  I could not find white tap shoes however, so I ordered those online for $21 including shipping (still cheaper and doesn’t require me to drive 30 minutes away).

Now…she just needs a bag to carry her shoes in.  *sigh* She’s growing up so fast.

While I’m recovering from my nasty cold and going to use Savannah’s nap time to nap myself, just thought I’d share my project for my last class. The assignment was a creative one that expresses what feminist issues are close to you and what you can do to help. My biggest issue right now? Raising Savannah. And that’s something I can definitely do something about starting now.

(Of course, being sick, I didn’t make it to school to show the class and talk about it so I’m hoping and praying I still get the credit.)

Like I said before, this past weekend was the first time in 2-3 years that I’ve had a sleep over visit with Kaylee’s family. As expected, it was a complete blast and a wonderful visit.  Savannah was so excited to see Kaylee, she talked about it for 2 weeks ahead of time. So, when we finally arrived to Kaylee’s graduation, I thought she would jump over the church pews to go see her.  Besides Savannah’s excitement, she did very well during the graduation ceremony and Kaylee was adorable in her little cap and gown!  And?  Who knew 4 year olds could learn every single book in the Bible by heart.  The Old Testament alone is 66 books and they spit them out like it was the ABCs! Amazing.

After graduation and dinner, Kaylee and Savannah played and played together for hours. It is so neat to see them now that they are both older and interact more.  Dress up is clearly a favorite of both girls and I helped them change a million times, especially for a trip to the “beach” where they both wore pink princess dresses and had rolling book bags and suitcases for their travels (and Savannah had an umbrella because it was apparently raining). It was adorable! I wish I had a picture.  However, you know how sleep overs go and there is little sleep involved. Who knew a 5 year old and 2 year old already know sleep over rules? After lots of frustration and some mean Mommy voice, I finally took Savannah to a dark quiet room where she immediately passed out on me around 10:30pm.  At 11pm Kaylee came in to sleep with us, and then the day started all over again at the lovely hour of 6:40am because Savannah was hungry.  I was exhausted, but watching those together two totally makes up for it.

Saturday was Kaylee’s birthday “get together,” where my Dad and family came to visit and pick up Savannah to babysit for the next two weeks. Let me tell you, it’s hard to watch your child drive away with some one else knowing you won’t see them for days! It was almost like telling Kaylee goodbye after her birth all over again. However, I have to say it was nice to just relax with Savannah gone and I was able to get some time to myself and one on one time with Kaylee and her parents.  Now that I’m home, it is VERY weird to be here in this quiet house with out her sweet voice. I’m constantly having to remind myself she isn’t here and not needing to do this or that (my brain is scheduled around hers!). It’s also so very nice to get things done! But, we sure do miss her.

Anyways, it was a great visit and I’m loving watching these two girls grow up and bond together. Kaylee even called Savannah her “Sissy” some times, I love how open our relationship is. Here are the silly girls in action, they already know how to do the silly girl photo poses as well. They grow so fast!