I can’t believe I haven’t posted in 2 months. Wow!  The writing bug has taken a back burner, the urge to write just hasn’t been there and I’m okay with that. I feel like its just not the season in my life to make it a high priority, there are much important things going on in this busy life right now!

1. Last I updated in March, we were going through some hearing issues with Savannah. As I said in that post, we trusted chiropractic care to correct the issue instead of surgery and we saw dramatic results within just days.  She since has had her hearing testing several times and its back to 100% awesome hearing! Praise the Lord! We’ve also decided not to take out adenoids/tonsils at this point. She’s doing great, enjoyed her first soccer season with friends, and is anxious to start Kindergarten in August!

2. Jaxson turned 18 months old last week. What happened to my baby?! I gave him a hair cut yesterday and it instantly looked like a 2 year old to me. He is saying so many words, communicates with signs as well, and has such a great personality.  I cannot believe that its already been 18 months since his birth, yet it seems like it should have been years ago too. Hasn’t he always been in our lives? 18 months also marked a big milestone of making it this far still nursing. I never imagined we would make it this far, my goal was a year but it continues to be his comfort at least once a day.  I know many people in this society has its qualms about it, but in other societies its not abnormal to breastfeed for years! Its in many Bible stories, too :-) We’re doing what works for our family, and going about weaning very slowly. And the child SLEEPS now! He takes 2-4 hour naps and then sleeps all night long usually. Praise God for rest!

This was at Easter, he’s grown so much even since then.

3. Mark and I celebrated 5 years of marriage! Again, seems like it should be even longer because it feels like we’ve known each other forever.  We had a very low-key anniversary with dinner out with our little family (it was mall food at that. ha!) and then we watched a movie at home. Its just what I needed, just to be in his arms, since I wasn’t feeling good anyway. Its been neat to sit here 5 years later reflecting on our life together, how we’ve grown in so many ways from those 19/20 year olds, how God has blessed us in those years following from our jobs, to our home, to kids.  We absolutely are even in more love now and feel accomplished to be beating the statistic that young couples end up divorced.  God is so good and tangible in our lives! We both made each other gifts, mine was inspired off pintrest and involved a map and the places important to us. His was this:

4. Well, this is pretty big news you might be excited to know, cause we sure are!

(Yes, I know there is a misspelling. Please ignore)

I’m 7 weeks a long today and  Baby #3 is due sometime in mid-January (I refuse to set a date for myself this time because babies don’t work like that!). We are all very excited about this last addition, Savannah thanks God for this baby every night in her prayers and is praying for a girl, of course.  I’m anxiously awaiting my first midwife appointment in June and trusting God to hear a strong heartbeat since we opted not to do an early ultrasound this time.  Just as with Jaxson’s pregnancy I have struggled with fear of a missed-miscarriage again but He has given me an unnatural peace when fear rises. I refuse to let Satan steal my joy of this little life, no matter the outcome!

I’m overall feeling pretty good, just extremely tired and constantly nauseous!  I have to nap every single day when Jaxson naps, and if I don’t, then I have to go to bed very early.  The nausea can be kept at bay if I eat protein and carbs all day long, so that’s good news. With Jaxson nothing helped and I was gagging at everything all day long. Either I just haven’t hit that point yet, or I’ve just learned how to manage it this time around. Or, maybe this little one is taking it easy on me and will be the easy going third child. Or, its a girl.  My girls were easier on me with the nausea!  We aren’t finding out the sex this time until birth so it’ll be a long time to know for sure :-)

So that’s all the big news that’s been going on in the 2 months of silence. I hope to do more updates more often, especially since I love to document my pregnancies and the beloved belly!

(Just so you aren’t confused…I wrote this the same night as the last post, Forming the Adoption Puzzle, but this deserved its own separate post. Plus, I wanted to space out posts since I’ve been slacking lately :-) So, pretend its Friday April 15th again!)

Pregnancy, birth, and all things tiny-newborn-cute  has started to consume me again. I know, I still have a completely adorable and happy 5 month old baby upstairs blissfully sleeping, but I can’t help myself. There is seriously some hardwired momma gene in me I can’t just turn off. And no, I’m not pregnant. But, after months of talking Mark has finally officially agreed to having a 3rd child down the road, so just the thought that I will get to experience the amazingness of pregnancy and natural birth again (God willing, of course) has had me doing a happy dance all week. Of course, ideally I’d like to wait awhile to let my body heal and to enjoy the sweet baby that Jaxson is so don’t expect a baby bump on this blog any time soon!

That said, tonight (along with our adoption talk) Savannah revealed something else to me that I hadn’t known she thought about in her little girl mind. I told you, it was a serious discussion night during our snuggle session. In the book we were reading, the sister goes to the hospital to visit her Mommy and new baby brother and she stopped me while reading.

Savannah- “Mommy, why did she go to the hospital?”

Me- “Well, that’s where she went to have her baby. Just like when I went to the birthing center to have Jaxson.”

Savannah- “But, why didn’t I get to go to the birthing center?”

Me- “Did you want to?”

Savannah- “Yeah, I wanted to watch him come out.”

Whoa!  Like, whoa in a good way. I debated whether I wanted Savannah in the room or not when Jaxson made his debut, but I hadn’t done the whole natural-birthing-thing before and I didn’t even know what it would be like myself.  I didn’t know how I’d react to the contractions, the noises I’d make, if I would be straight up scary to be around, etc. and I just didn’t feel comfy with anyone else in the room except my husband and midwife. But, it melted my heart to hear her say that she wanted to be there. It makes sense to me that she would want to, after all she was there for every prenatal appointment, she felt his kicks and sang to him every night, we watching baby stories on TV and talked about birth. She was very involved with his pregnancy and it fascinated her, why wouldn’t she want to see her baby brother come out?  Next time, I think it would be neat for her to experience it. I feel like I know more now that I’ve lived it, that I could do my birthing thing with her observing the miracle nearby. I want to raise her to not fear child birth, that it’s a natural thing that God so beautifully designed. I want her to know that it isn’t painful if we let our body do its thing. What better way to teach her that, than to show her that? Society teaches about birth differently and in a much different light…I’d rather her see it for what it is, not what the way culture would have her believe it is. This article explains why its beneficial to have children present. Yeah, its not a choice for everyone just like natural birth isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but its one I’m willing to explore.

Also, every time we talk about having another baby she insists it will be a girl. Tonight when I told her she might be able to watch next time, “Then I’ll have a baby brother AND a baby sister living with me!” Hopeful? Or intuitive? Like I said though, don’t expect a baby bump around here any time soon!

Like I said before, 2010 was a fabulous year for me. I realized though after posting that there was so much more to it than just materialistic things like our new house, car, and my graduation diploma…there were prayers answered. It was God-filled. While certainly I feel like God blessed us with being able to purchase our own house and replace my falling apart car with a new one…things happened in 2010 that cannot be bought for any price. 

I can easier admit now that after my miscarriage of the twins, I was left doubting God and quite frankly was angry at Him. How could he take away my babies? I am fertile-myrtle, things like that don’t happen to me! Strangely though, I did have peace in their loss even as it happened and knew that it happen for a reason, but I still held on to blaming God for that hurt in my life as time went by. Thankfully though, God has used Jaxson’s pregnancy to help me overcome that, to trust Him again and prove that He is still trustworthy even when things don’t happen as we think they should.  Essentially, I feel He has used Jaxson’s pregnancy and birth to bring so many blessings and answered prayers in my life this past year. I clung to God as I found out I was pregnant with Jaxson because otherwise fear overcame me that I would lose that pregnancy, too. As many of us know, that desperation of no where else to turn is what brings us closer to God, and I’m thankful for that even though its hard!  Then, as Jaxson’s birth neared I clung to Him even more as I prepared to give birth the way I felt He intended it to be…naturally. As a result, He put so many wonderful people and resources in my path that helped me through my journey and were a huge support.  I truly feel like God was present at Jaxson’s birth, from giving me the strength to do it naturally, to watching over us as Jax came out with the cord around his neck four times and myself bleeding too much afterward.  Many people, especially family, were skeptical or worried about Jaxson’s birth and us using a birth center outside of the hospital but I felt in the depths of my heart that God had promised this birth to me in the way I desired and I held onto that promise.  He was our strength and protector.

Also, a huge answered prayer was a simple one: friends. Being a young Mom and wife, a birthmom, a Christian, etc. I have often felt like I don’t always “fit in.”  Really, more like caught in the middle.  Especially when I was still in college, I wasn’t a typical collage student that partied or lived near campus to be able to join in with people I met in classes. I went to school and went straight home to my baby girl and husband, and that was totally fine with me! But, it also felt odd to try to get to know women who did have a husband and kids because I am, well, usually a lot younger than them. Not that it bothers me at all to hang out with people older than me, but I just don’t want to be judged by my youngness. My life style was a mix of the “young” crowd and the “stay at home mom” crowd but with no one place to accommodate both. So, basically, Mark and I were our own best friends and my only other close friends lived hours and states away like Breannaor Victoria. I know my online friendships have value and are blessings in themselves but, of course, I really craved having someone (or a few someones!) that I could get to know really well locally. I wanted to be able call someone up for coffee each week or have a playdate with our kids while we chatted. I seriously prayed for years that God would bring some one that 1) was Christian that I could have spiritual conversations with 2) had kids so they understood my lifestyle.  And finally, in 2010 that happened. Not one, but several friends (thanks to my favorite Mommy Network!) that I can call and vent things to, to pray with me, to encourage each other, to watch our kids play together…such huge blessing! Now in 2011 I pray that Mark can find that same connection with men in our area because I know he is feeling just as I was and I know its hard at times. Life with friends to share and do things with is much sweeter!

So, in 2011 I pray that we are even more God-filled. That I can grow closer to God, to go to chuch more than 1 time a month, break out of my shell to actually get connected and know people, like through a small group. I pray that I can have a heart to serve just as others have helped me this past year when I needed it. I pray Mark feels that calling to God too, gets connected with others, and we in-turn grow together as a married couple in Christ. I pray that this year we truly realize that our body is a temple and we should treat it that way…therefore eating healthier as a family. I pray Savannah continues to grow in and learn about God (more on that soon!). I pray all my kids, whether with me or not, are safe, healthy, and know they are loved by me and God.

Seriously, 2010 was the best year ever. In so many ways. I sit here with a sleeping baby boy in my lap, warm and cozy in my house, a diploma in my possession resembling goals met and hardwork, beautiful snow on the ground, playdates planned for later this week, and I can’t help but feel blessedly fuzzy inside. Thank you, God, for everything. I know 2011 can be just as filled, if not more, with us clinging to Him as our foundation.

Jaxson’s pregnancy was different in so many ways, not just because he was a boy and I felt physically different than with Kaylee and Savannah, but because of the care I chose during pregnancy. After two pregnancies with OBGYNs, two hospital births, two pitocin inductions, and two episiotomies I wanted something different. Not just in how I envisioned the birth to be, but in the attention and care I got through the 9 months as well. I did see an OBGYN during the first trimester to ease my fears after losing our twins last year and my visits there only confirmed my desire for something more. Sure, the doctor was nice but I was tired of waiting 45 minutes just to be seen for 5 minutes . Tired of tests I was told I needed to do. Tired of feeling like just a chart and not a person. So, I took advantage of The Pregnant Woman’s Rights and I switched when I felt comfortable that Jaxson was going to “stick” and be healthy in the beginning of my second trimester.

I had actually been researching midwives to use since I found out I was pregnant in 2009 with the twins so I had already decided who I wanted and where I wanted to deliver. My midwife, I’ll call her D, works with a birthing center completely separate from the hospital and only consists of licensed midwives. It took Mark a little while to get used to the idea of not using a hospital for fear of the “what if’s” but once he met D he began to trust her as I did. The birthing center was a stepping stone in a way for us, it was a way to get the completely natural experience I wanted like a home birth would be, but it wasn’t our home (which we both weren’t ready for). The differences between the OB and midwife care was apparent from the very beginning, even back in 2009 when I would email her questions about my miscarriage.

1) I loved that I could email or call her directly if I had questions or needed anything. I called her a million times to  inform her about contractions starting or stopping, to ask about cold remedies, questions about baby movements, my family concerns when I was overdue, etc. 2 weeks postpartum I still call her with concerns about Jaxson or postpartum things. It is so nice to get a quick response and not going through nurses, waiting hours for phone calls back.

2) I have only ever had her for my care and she was there the entire labor/delivery. D was the one who did my prenatal appointments and I knew she would be at my delivery. No doctor rotations, no hoping you get the doctor you like when you go into labor, no doctors popping in and out when its convenient for them, no hoping the nurse you get is a good one. So because I had her for every appointment and through the entire labor we both got to know each other much better than a typical doctor/patient.

3) Which brings me to my next point that prenatal appointments lasted much longer than a doctor appointment. Actually, technically it would be shorter since I practically never had a waiting time to be seen. But, meaning she was checking the baby and we were talking for good 20-30 minutes. I loved there wasn’t a rush in-rush out feel with her, she took her time. And again, having this extra time let me (and Savannah since she came to all my appointments and was often included in checking on the baby) get to know D more on almost a friend level.

4) I had options and could make decisions. In typical OB care, you are told what tests to take when, what shots or blood work you need, what the baby needs after birth, etc. as “preventatives,” regardless of whether you or your baby is at risk for the issue or not.  I loved that since I had no sugar in my urine or any other signs of gestational diabetes, I didn’t have to get the test done!  I also had the choice at 28 weeks if I wanted to get the rhogam shot as a preventative in case I had a car accident or something that would cause my blood to mix with Jaxson’s since I am RH-. Having had two other pregnancies, I thought I needed it or something horrible would go wrong and at first I was going to get it just in case. But honestly, the price of the shot (over $100) made me think twice about it…why spend that money if we don’t need it? D helped me do the research and I asked several professionals their advice and all said it wasn’t needed during pregnancy (even a hospital labor and delivery nurse and a wife to a doctor!). And IF something happened, like a car accident, I still had a window of opportunity to get the shot. In the end, I chose not to get the shot during pregnancy (but needed it after birth and I did take that one) and while it was hard at first to let go of the doctor mentality that something horrible would go wrong…I’m glad I had that choice and glad I made the choice I did.

5) The atmosphere was so much more relaxing! Though the birthing center is in a business building, when you walk in it is very homey. Especially the birthing rooms, they are set up as bed rooms you would have at home with real furniture, dressers, colorful bedlinens, painted walls, curtains, etc. No uncomfortable hospital beds, it was so nice to share a normal queen size with Mark and Jaxson after delivery. I’m sure it was much more comfortable than the hard couch/bed thing Mark had when Savannah was born! The prenatal room was the same way, a twin size bed rather than those hard paper covered doctor tables.  There was also much less people around since the midwives split up their days in the office, so it was quiet even during the day.

6) The attention I got from D in all areas was different. Not just her being there when I needed something, but during visits she asked questions that went beyond what doctors seem to care about. She had me pay more attention to my diet by writing down what I was eating for a week, every visit she asked if I was drinking enough water, she cared about how I was feeling emotionally in the week after birth, she encouraged me to let my self rest and recover after birth (not climb stairs, not get out of bed for 24 hours, etc.) and let others take care of me. Our visits just feel much more in depth and, well, personal. I’m definitely not just a chart number any more.

7) My labor(s) and delivery were what really marked the difference though. Like I said, it was such a peaceful and relaxing environment. The lights could be turned low how I wanted them. I could move into positions that I wanted rather than being stuck in the bed with IV’s. I was encouraged to eat and drink as much as I could rather than being starved with only ice chips to eat, “just in case” I ended up with a c-section. When it came time to push I chose what position felt the best and I was able to be in the birthing pool. The only time D told me to change positions was when Jax was taking a while to fully crown and she knew gravity would help, so I moved from a semi-reclined position to squatting to standing. I also didn’t hear “PUSH PUSH PUSH!” a million times like you hear on TV. D knew my body needed time to breathe Jax down by itself first to prevent tearing so she didn’t encourage me to actually try to push until the very end. She also didn’t do an episonomy like the previous doctors did and let my body tear naturally (which ended up being 2 small shallow tears that didn’t need stitches, much better than episonomy recovery!). I loved that she let my body do what it needed to do rather than forcing it (same for during pregnancy, I would have been hooked up to pitocin or had a c-section after my stalled labor if I was at a hospital).

8) After birth was also a huge difference. After D unwrapped his cord from his neck, he was immediately passed to me and he stayed with me. No rough rubbing to clean him off or make him cry, it was very gentle and calm. We did skin-to-skin contact for hours afterward and we were encouraged to breastfeed as soon as possible (with Savannah she was taken away and it was 3 hours after birth before they brought her to feed!). Jaxson wasn’t weighed until probably 2 hours after he was born, until I was ready to let him be checked out (which is why he popped 3 times before he was weighed, so he probably was more than 8 pounds at delivery). He didn’t get the goopy gunk in his eyes, since I knew I didn’t have STD’s or an infection for him to contract (again with the choices!). Like I said before, all 3 of us were able to rest in one comfy bed and when I was finally feeling some-what better after my blood loss we were able to go home after only 12 hours of arriving the night before.

I could write much more I’m sure, but that’s the gist of the midwife experience I had. Of course, experiences vary from person to person, from different midwives or issues that may come up. For me, it was amazing in every way (even with the frustrations of weeks in prelabor!), from the beginning to present.  I’m so happy with the choices I made and the outcome, I feel much more “complete” in my birthing experience than I did with Savannah. I got the natural approach to pregnancy and birth I wanted, I have a healthy son, and I feel like I’ve met yet another goal of mine. I did it!

Would I do it again this way? Absolutely.

I’ll admit, I spent all day Sunday crying my eyes out after my labor stopped Saturday morning and obviously has not picked back up yet.  I kept thinking, “But it was REAL! I dilated 2cm! I had real contractions! I should be holding my baby right now!” and then I would start crying all over again.  I realize now that I needed to grieve that birth I felt I should have had on Friday night/Saturday morning. It was very, very real and emotionally it has been difficult to move past the thought that I did something wrong, that I should have done something more to keep the contractions going, etc. But, after “grieving” what felt like a loss,  I’ve got a new perspective. Yes, it stinks that I’m not holding my new baby boy right now and my family all drove hours without getting to meet him before having to leave again, but my eyes have been opened to realize things about this birth when it really does happen.

1) I learned what real contractions feel like (or, at least much more real contractions than I’ve had before). Oh yes, they feel very different from all the prelabor contractions I’ve had in the past 3 weeks. From the first one I felt at the mall checking out Chicfila, I could tell it was different. Prelabor for me was period type cramps with random tightening and felt more like braxton hicks. Real labor for me feels like extreme tightening moving from the top of my legs up my belly and definitely had the “wave” and “peaks” that people talk about. However, I wouldn’t call it pain. I am choosing to believe that childbirth doesn’t have to be the excruciating painful thing that people portray it to be if I let go of that fear and relax with it. It was uncomfortable, yes (I didn’t want to move during them) but it just felt like EXTREME tightening running up my belly. I also learned my belly even shapes differently. Braxton hicks looks more like a basketball and round, real ones my belly squares out some. I’m glad to know the difference now, so I will know when it’s real next time.

2) I learned how I handle the contractions. I’ve been reading about Hypnobirthing and using relaxing CD’s, along with my faith in God, to prepare for labor and got to use them on Friday. It was so incredibly helpful! My favorite is Comfort Zone by Steve Halpern, it seriously can put me to sleep (or at least in a deep relaxation) any time, even during contractions. Mark told me afterward that at one point he looked over while I was in the birthing tub that I looked so relaxed he was afraid I’d fall asleep and drown!  Sure, I hadn’t got to the transition phase yet so things weren’t too intense but it felt good to know that I can relax and just trust my body through contractions.

3) I learned that I don’t need much support during labor (again, it may be different during transition/pushing phase). While laboring I just wanted to be alone! I wanted the lights to be dim, to put my headphones in and walk around the room or be in the tub.  Mark was actually in the room sleeping the majority of the time (as was my Mom in the waiting room) and the midwife would come in every hour to check how I was doing and Jaxson’s heartbeat.  This is a huge change to me because I felt like before I would need lots of support and advice of what to do to help manage, but I was totally okay and new instinctively what I needed to try. And that feels pretty good to have a sneak peak to boost my confidence even more to know I can do this!

4) I got to know my midwife more personally and how things work at the birthing center. Enough said. It was a fantastic experience of the 12 hours I was there. I can’t wait for “Part II” of labor, it was such a relaxing environment for everyone there.

5) I also learned that I only want Mark and my midwife in the room when I actually deliver Jaxson. I thought I wanted or needed lots of people, like my Mom, Stepmom (they’ve been to my past births), and even a photographer. But, I realized that this is such an intimate time. Not just exposing very personal body parts, but emotionally this birth will be hugely different than when Kaylee or Savannah were born. I can’t explain why it’s different, but it is. Best put, it just feels intimate and like it’s something special for just Mark and I as a married couple to be welcoming our child into the world after so much work (versus just laying in a hospital bed waiting for the doctor to tell me to push).

6) I hate to admit this, but before last Friday I wasn’t sure Mark would know what to do when I went into labor because we haven’t had a baby this way before.  Friday (and this past 5 days in general) has shown me that he is perfectly capable of knowing what needs to be done and listening to my needs. He has been such an incredible support emotionally and physically, I’m so blessed to have him!

7) I learned to trust my body, baby, and God…that if it stalled there must be a reason for it (I still struggle with this in some moments, but peace quickly fills my doubts when I bring the worries to God again). I may never know why it stalled, but at least it was a learning experience on so many levels :-) Spiritually God has taught me so much in this waiting time, He has used this time to draw me closer to Him and it has also been a huge bonding experience for Mark and I.

Like I said, of course, I wish I was holding Jax right now. But I’m glad that in this waiting time, although frustrating and heartbreaking at moments, it has taught me important lessons and most importantly grown my faith stronger than its been in a long time.  This will all be worth it in the end, right?

P.S. 5 days over due at this point and going for a nonstress test this afternoon. Praying that I get see Jax’s sweet face on an ultrasound, that would make this waiting slightly more bearable :-)

It’s November 1st. My due date is in 4 days! Wowza. I never thought it would get here, and I really kinda thought I’d have a baby before November seeing how much he has played tricks on us since about 35 weeks (but especially for the last 2 weeks!).

Any guesses about when Jaxson will arrive? I’m done guessing. I’ve had so many dreams that were wrong,  way off intuition feelings, and too many “practice” contractions to know what to think anymore or if I will even realize I’m in labor when it does actually start. Not to mention the fact that last week when I was checked I was already 3-4cm dilated plus all the other lovely labor is near “signs”…so surely it would be VERY soon, right? Nope.  I’m done guessing, and just trusting that God and this baby know what they are doing. But you can guess for me.

When do you think he’ll get serious and flip the active labor switch? And how big do you think he’ll be?

Kaylee was 7 pounds 2 ounces (induced on her due date)

Savannah was 8 pounds 1 ounce (induced the day after her due date)

(Yes, with that trend Jaxson will be in the 9 pound range…but strangely I’m not scared. I figure my body and God wouldn’t design a baby I can’t push out.)

Jaxson is still baking at 98.7 degrees.

Apparently he isn’t done cooking so the small leak I was having sealed itself back up (yes, it can happen! I probably had a “high leak”) and no real contractions ever started. And while it was disappointing to go from “He’s coming now!” and getting the whole internet, family, and friends excited…I’m okay with it. I am truly enjoying pregnancy and don’t feel like I need to rush him out. Especially, if this is our last child I want to treasure these days feeling his movements inside because I know how much I miss pregnancy when it’s over.

That said, I have been having lots of prelabor symptoms and it seems to be doing something since I’m already progressing (2cm dilated, 25% effaced, and he’s at -1 station last checked on Tuesday). I’m using this time to really relax and trust my body to do it’s thing. Of course, even with all my prelabor signs it still could be weeks. I am trusting that God, this baby, and my body know what it’s doing and the real time will come when it’s ready :-) That peace and actually enjoying pregnancy at this point (among the cramps, backaches, sleep issues, etc) is such a different feeling than I had with Kaylee or Savannah. I just wanted them out and was miserable those last weeks because I dwelled on the pains and only looked forward instead of living in the present. This time the perspective is totally different and I feel its a God thing helping me to slow down and cherish it.  And when I do have my moments of, “I am done with this pregnancy thing! Come out!” I remember that whether he comes tonight or in 2 weeks, that still is really close :-) He will be here before we know it.

Until then, I’ll be relaxing and treasuring every kick…

If you follow me on Facebook, you would know that Jaxson’s arrival could be soon. I may be leaking amniotic fluid! Here’s the story:

(and if you don’t want to hear about various bodily fluids and womanly things…click away now…)

Saturday we had a really active day outside taking Savannah to a pumpkin patch, walking a lot, went on a bumpy hayride, ate spicy food, etc. so maybe that’s what started it. That night I was sitting here at the computer, Jaxson was being very active and I heard/felt a pop down low. I immediately thought, “Oh? Did my water just break?” but when I stood up to check it was just a tiny, tiny gush and so I thought it was just discharge or urine leaking. Since then I’ve felt it off and on, usually when I move or the baby moves and I’ve thought it is just me leaking urine since he’s low and often on my bladder. Then last night I was waken up by back pain that felt like period cramping again (“again” meaning 2 weeks ago I had period-type cramps all week and it was him dropping lower) but it actually had peaks instead of being the dull constant pain that I had a few weeks ago. They’ve been coming and going since, but nothing too painful and nothing really timable (obviously, since I’m here writing a blog post).

It’s never been a constant stream like a lot of people say they experience but I decided to look it up just in case and it sounded like I am leaking This describes me exactly: http://www.birth.com.au/Physical-signs-of-prelabour/Waters-breaking-%28membranes-rupturing%29-no-contractions.aspx). The midwife agreed and I’ll be getting checked tomorrow if nothing happens sooner. And yes, we are taking precautions against infection.

I never had this leaking feeling and definitely not the popping noise/feeling with my other pregnancies, my water had to be broken by the doctor during my inductions so this is all new to me. I hope this is the real deal coming soon and we’re not getting our hopes up over pee! :-D

But, just in case things start moving along, I need to finish an article…wash some laundry…put away the dishes…take a nap….and…

I know I’ve promised this posts for weeks now, but trust me, it’s worth the wait because I’ve got even more to show you now :-) I have done little projects to keep me occupied and customize Jaxson’s room in ways I didn’t get to do with Savannah, and I’m loving the results!

First off though, I have to give some credit to my husband. See, my Mom let us have her old childhood furniture (and mine) to use for Jaxson but it really needed some lovin’ before it entered his room.  The stain/paint was chipping off, the hardware was falling off and scratching the wood, etc. Plus it just looked…outdated…and needed a new look. I originally was going to re-do it myself because I am the more handy person of this O Couple, but one weekend while I was visiting family he surprised me by taking on the task of sanding and refinishing one of the dressers. He even picked out cool modern handles! This picture doesn’t do it justice (it’s darker, less red, in person), mostly because this is me trying to take a picture from across the room, in the corner, with my  back pressed to the wall (Dear Santa: I need a different camera lens for these kind of things!).

Then, a few weeks later I added this mobile over the changing area. I bought this decoration at Hobby Lobby for my baby shower with the thought I could reuse it as a decoration in his room, too.  However, it originally had a toile pattern on some of the dots so I bought a inch and half hole punch (scrapbooking section!) and punched out orange scrapbooking paper to tape on using scrapbooking picture tape squares. Super easy, but so time consuming. It took hours to complete, but I love doing that kind of stuff. However, it does need to be shortened because it would be in the way of Mark’s head when changing diapers or baby clothes.

Lastly, because of the sanding done earlier, the inside of the of the drawers had some powdery-orange-red old stain that I couldn’t get to wipe away and thus it was getting onto Jaxson’s sweet newborn clothes.  I decided to line his drawers so that it would resolve the issue and remembered this easy DIY project one of my favorite blogs did a few months ago (tutorial here). I already had the Mod Podge and foam brush so I went in search for the perfect paper to use. I wanted to use wrapping paper as Young House Love did but I could not find anything cool enough, so I decided to find cool scrapbooking paper instead. For these drawers, I used 3 full scrapbooking papers to cover it (the VERY back has about an half and inch it doesn’t cover but who will ever see that?)

The fun colors and patterns make me happy to open his drawers, it is a shame I have to cover these with clothes and diapers, huh?

And that concludes our tour of the diaper changing area all completed :-) Still left to do: hang art work, find another pair of white tabbed curtains for his other window, and stain more furniture (ah hem, Mark). And even if those don’t get done, we’re pretty much set for his arrival. Tomorrow (October 5th) marks my due date one month away, whoa!

First Trimester: Pizza.

I felt awful the first trimester and salty things were all about all I wanted. I try to eat healthy but I couldn’t battle all day sickness with healthy foods all the time if just the thought/smell of things would make me gag. Pizza was often my go-to meal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Specifically freezer pizza and pizza rolls. I’m not proud of it, not exactly a nutritious way to grow a new being, but some times you gotta do what you can!

Second Trimester: Spinach.

Remember those spinach quesadillas and salads? I still eat them often because they are quick and healthy lunches, but they have lost their “this is amazing” factor when eating. Maybe I just ate too many of them, I’m sure it’s been hundreds in the last few months.

Third Trimester: Peanut Butter.

Apples with peanut butter, graham crackers with peanut butter, on toast, PB&J sandwiches, or straight out of the jar. Yum. I eat it for snacks every day, some times several times a day. At least it’s semi-healthy, right? (the sugar and fat in it quickly adds up)

Of course, there are other things I’ve craved this pregnancy (like marshmallows…) but these 3 stand out the most because they seriously are/were an every day-have-to-have kind of thing. And if I’m out? I have to buy more! With Kaylee and Savannah I craved different things, I guess the old wives tale was true for me. The first trimester I had to have Cheerios, all day long to battle morning sickness and I just loved the bland taste. After that it was a lot of fruit. It’s funny how things can be so different between pregnancies, but more on that later.

What did you crave?