I woke up Sunday, mentally planning my day in my head and I had a nagging feeling I had homework to do like I normally do on Sundays. Not anymore! Ever! Today is my first day “free,” a day I should be in class but instead am home like I will be for who knows how long.  Savannah got up super early this morning and so a I sipped a cup of coffee and started my day with the a reminder from the Bible about God’s stability. I sat outside at 7 am, taking turns between watching her jump in puddles and dance with a zebra umbrella while I read from a devotional and related scriptures.  Normally rainy gray days and 5:30 wake up calls would make for a grumpy mommy, but today my heart is full with gratitude and couldn’t help but see the beauty in the rain today. I saw it in the joy on her face as she stomped in puddles and squished her toes in mud. The joy in being wake to see the sky slowly light up behind the clouds. The joy in being outside before most of the neighborhood was even awake and hearing the pitter-patter rain up close and personal. I saw it in the verses I read, the reminder of God being there, a stability in life, even when I haven’ t been tuned in to Him.

Mark left for work this morning and told me, “Have a great first day of the rest of your life!” And that is exactly what today feels like. It feels like a brand new page turned, a new chapter in this life of mine.  It feels like a new beginning where I can focus on a new part of me, to be a hands-on Mom I didn’t have time to be before, the wife who can actually keep up with the dishes and laundry, a writer who can write again, a child who can actually hear the voice of God once more. I don’t know what lies ahead, I don’t know exactly what this chapter holds. I know that I have my own visions and plans, but I know also that God will “establish my steps” (Proverbs 16:9) and things will happen in His way and His time. That’s comforting.

So, here’s to the first day of the rest of my life. May it hold many beautiful things like this rainy morning.

P.S. Pregnant or know some one that is? There is a new review up (see, I have time for things again!) on “The Hot Mom to Be Handbook” by Jessica Denay.

3 years ago today at 9:22pm, a little girl entered our lives…

changing us forever.

I tend to sit and reflect on my children’s birthdays (or even my own). Birthdays aren’t just about celebrating for me, but a time to look back and see the growth, changes, and looking forward to what is to come this new birth year.

I honestly have a hard time remembering Savannah ever being that tiny newborn pictured above, or even as a toddling one year old.  It seems like we’ve always had this intelligent, curious, sassy little girl.

The two’s were filled with…well…two year old behavior. One minute she was my best little buddy and the next she was throwing a tantrum because it was time to leave the library. But even on a long, frustrating day there was always a redeeming moment that made the whole battle worth it; Like her falling asleep in my arms as if she was a baby again, or making up a new game before bedtime. Those moments are what keeps us Moms hanging on.

The two’s exploded our home with new words and an imagination that doesn’t stop, even at 2 am.  New skills emerged, like discovering her love to be crafty or cook like her momma, learning numbers and letters, how to build with blocks or finish puzzles.  The two’s brought new stories and voices (coming from the two year old mind/mouth) of princess dolls, Thomas the train, or anything she felt needed a voice. It seems like a new discovery was made every single day, it was a mind blowing year of development. It was the year we finally got sleep issues under control. The year she finally gave up the pacy and crib, officially becoming a “big girl.”

And now, we have a three year old. I imagine that means even more development, independence, and sassy attitude but I hope it also means more great memories as she blooms into the person she is.

Happy Birthday, Savannah! We love you, oh, so, very much.

My, how we’ve come so far in just 3 years.

As individuals and as a family.

Well, we’re finally here!

Welcome to our home:

We still have a ton of pictures and curtains to hang, but we’re here and we’ve gotten a lot done in just 5 days.  The rooms not shown are no where near as done. Our kitchen chairs are still not finished being painted white, we have a stroller in the kitchen (why?), I just was able to clear out the boxes in the play room/office a few hours ago, and Savannah’s room is a mess with a million stuffed animals, and every room is in desperate need of things on the walls.  But, it’s looking so good and we’re loving having our own space! After 5 days it’s starting to feel less like a hotel I designed and more like our home.

And, I have to brag on Savannah for a moment: She has done amazing with so many changes this week. Not just moving from the only house she’s ever known, but also moving out of her crib into a big bed AND saying goodbye to passy. All in one night!  I truly thought that giving up the passy would be the hardest, but she easily has forgotten about it without a single tear and has not asked for it since we told her the passy doesn’t come with her to the big girl room.  The only issues we’ve had is getting her to sleep the first few nights, understandably since it’s a whole new place AND bed. And then, she would wake up around 3am and be wide awake for 2 hours before finally giving into to sleep again (oh, the sleep deprived frustrations!).  I still think that’s minor to what it could have been, and thankfully each night has improved as she is getting even more comfortable. I can’t believe how grown up she seems in just the last few days, her third birthday is just 11 days away. Crazy!

And now, back to hanging and unboxing things…

Paint? check.

Blinds? check.

Curtains? check.

Shower Curtain rods? check.

Washer and Dryer? check.

Uhaul truck? check.

Guess what we’re doing this weekend? MOVING! All we need is some furniture and food and our then house is finally our home.

It’s amazing what some paint, blinds, and curtains can do to a house making it feel more cozy. I’m excited to see it all come together with our things instead of just pieces here and there.  I’m excited for it to look like a home, not just an empty house. And not just any home, but our home.  But, I can say I’m overwhelmed thinking about all the tasks I will be taking on to manage our new home (paying more bills, doing all the grocery shopping, cooking every night after a long day of classes, etc.). Living with the in laws the past 3 years has allowed me to just do a little bit of these things as they come up, now it will be my job all the time.  I feel the stress already.  I’m hoping to start out organized both with time and physical clutter so that I can maintain it, like with menu planning for example. Any tips?

Anyways, I”ll post pictures once we get some furniture in/arranged and you can tell which room is what. Happy weekend, folks. We’ve got a busy one ahead!

It’s official, we’re finally home owners as of yesterday!  It went smooth and quickly once we (we, meaning my awesome “team” of people working while I sat around stressed) got over some speed bumps.  Is it worth that stress in the end? Yes.

In fact, I was a little sad when it was all signed and keys delivered that the process was over.  As I mentioned before, I had a great realtor and I told her I will miss driving around on the weekends and exchanging a bazillion emails everyday.  It’s kind of like getting married, you look forward to it and plan for months, waiting and waiting, and finally it gets here. It’s a burst of excitement and then, boom. It’s over!  It’s weird having met another “first” milestone in my life. I feel like an adult, yet also like I’m playing an elaborate game of pretend house.

Is this really ours?

Did I really get to pick my own kitchen color?

Are these really my own dishes? Finally out of boxes after three years?

Is this really my own daughter in her own future big girl cotton candy pink room?

Why, yes. Yes it is. Crazy.

My uncle started the painting process just hours after we signing the papers. It’s looking amazing and feels more cozy already.  I can’t wait to get our furniture in there to really see what it looks like as “ours” (don’t worry, I’ll post pictures!)  However, move-in date was postponed to next weekend because of the closing delays and now we’ve supposedly got winter weather coming. But, the good news is that gives us time to have a brand new washer and dryer delivered, the paint will all be finished, we’ll have blinds up, and hopefully it won’t be 15 degree weather to haul things around in. The bad news is, that will only give me TWO weeks to get the house looking decent before Savannah huge birthday party (our RSVP’d guest list is at 22 right, could be up to 35. I hope yall like to stand or sit on the floor!) Things happen for a reason, I just have to keep telling myself that.

Have I mentioned how blessed I feel? Thank you, God!

I may not be holding babies in my arms right now like I should be, but God has given us another blessing this week (what great timing He has!) that makes my heart leap with joy and possibilities.

(I wanted to put a big red bow on it but Flickr wouldn’t let me without paying, so a Santa hat will have to do)

Since we had Savannah at 19 and still in college, Mark’s parents have been amazing in letting us stay with them for the past 3 years as we finish school and get on our feet.  Now, finally, it’s time to move out. And while I’m so incredibly grateful we had this time and extra hands to help out, we’re so ready to have our own place! This is all happening a little sooner than planned (originally wanted to move after I graduate in May), but this house and the price were too perfect to pass up. We’re all so excited! Savannah is excited about getting a “princess room,” she’s already planning on having it be purple  (it was pink last week, what will it be by the time we actually paint?)

Now I need to start working on that kitchen table!  And…packing…that doesn’t sound like fun though…

Just now as I was rocking Savannah to settle her down for bed, she was rubbing her white blanky against her hands (her relaxation technique) and humming a song that sounded familiar but it wasn’t a song we had taught her.  Then she said, “Jesus? Jesus?” And then I knew what song she was trying to sing: Jesus Loves Me.  I started singing softly and she hummed along. When it ended she asked, “Again? Jesus?” So, I did and eventually she began singing with me.  After 4 more times I told her it was time for bed but what a sweet, sweet moment to hear my nearly 2 year old in her tiny little voice enjoy singing how Jesus loves her. And, it was a great reminder to me that he loves me as well and how incredibly blessed we are.

We must be doing something right. Or rather, we’re letting God. It’s a beautiful thing beyond words.

(By the way, I still don’t know where she learned the song in the first place. Either God taught her himself or it was her hanging out with her Papa today while we were in school. I’m guessing it was Papa)

I need to go study so I won’t get a C on my two tests tomorrow…but before I do that…I just had to share what my crazy girl did.  I’m laughing at how silly she is, so that I won’t break down in tears.

See, for the past 2 and half weeks we have been trying, unsuccessfully, to switch  her to the big girl bed.  We decided to make the move, even though she is just 18 months old, because she was extremely close to climbing out and we feared breakage of the neck.  The first night it took 2 hours to get her to sleep, but she did it and slept through the entire night. The next day, she took a nap in her new bed. I was hopeful, frustrated but hopeful.

Since then, she’s slept in her bed only a handful of times.  The second night she sobbed and sobbed so I bought back out the pack-n-play crib to ease her fears.  This process by far has been the most frustrating and hardest thing I’ve had to deal with as a parent. Some nights she screams bloody murder about going to bed, some nights she falls asleep without any problems, some nights she just plays and plays and plays until we just have to put her in the crib so we can go to bed ourselves.

We have seen improvement in that she knows now to stay in bed when we say to, but it’s still a battle pretty much every single time.  She chooses to sleep in her bed, but when she doesn’t listen and tries to get up, she’s warned that she will go into her crib.  Sometimes it works, mostly it doesn’t, and she just ends up in her pack-n-play crib because that’s pretty much the only place she’ll readily go to sleep now.  It takes anywhere from 45-2 hours to get her to sleep now and it’s wearing us thin.

We’ve tried everything. The girl is just the most hard headed thing (really, I don’t know where she gets it).  If we try to discipline her with “popping” her bottom or hand she just laughs at us and does it again.  Oh, we are doomed as we head into the terrible twos. Nothing works with her.

Our Dr. recommend just leaving her in her room (baby proofed) with a gate so she cannot get out. He said she may play, but eventually she should go to sleep.  Sounds good, right? Logically, that’s the only thing that worked when we were training her to sleep in her crib throughout the night as well. But, I don’t know if this will work. Today, after an hour of her playing alone I came into this:

What am I going to do with her?!  And seriously, please, please give me some advice on how to get her to sleep.  Once she lets herself fall asleep, she’s great and sleeps through the night. She just won’t let herself get to that point most nights unless she’s in her crib. She’s too distracted by her cool shutter doors, or her baby doll.

Perhaps that’s the answer right there. Take away all the fun stuff like toys and stuffed animals (and hide the dirty clothes….) so it’s less enticing to play. I want her to be bored and go to bed. It could work. Maybe?

HELP! How did you make the switch? How long did it take?

A new milestone has arrived.

It’s not a welcomed one though, like when Savannah first rolled over or took her first steps. Nope. This milestone comes with dread. And wondering if we’ll ever be able to go out in public again.  Yes, it’s the public tantrums. *sigh*

Tonight was my first experience of public-dining-humiliation. We went to eat at Applebees with my parents, the nice waiter even brought her a free drink and a balloon! But, that was not enough to keep the new princess-diva happy.  She refused to stay seated in the high chair.  Refused to let me feed her so she wouldn’t dump it every where (it was baby food fruit, very messy. If we were at home, I wouldn’t care, but not in a restaurant).  She screamed and cried, wiggled and squirmed.  I’m sure we were getting lots of looks, but I wasn’t looking and quite frankly, I don’t care (Anyone who has had children should understand!). Finally I had enough and left with only half my dinner eaten.  Thankfully I had taken my own car so that I could do this, other wise, things would have probably gotten really ugly between the Diva and this Frustrated Mom.

I put her in the car, got home as fast as I could legally, washed her off and put her straight to bed. Hallelujah for this peace and quiet now that she is in bed! I was about to loose it. My Mom also brought me a strawberry milk shake home to drown my sorrows and frustrations in. That helps. Quiet moments and ice cream, always a good thing.

Now if only my husband were here. (My hat goes off to you single Moms, I don’t know how you do it.)