3 years ago today at 9:22pm, a little girl entered our lives…

changing us forever.

I tend to sit and reflect on my children’s birthdays (or even my own). Birthdays aren’t just about celebrating for me, but a time to look back and see the growth, changes, and looking forward to what is to come this new birth year.

I honestly have a hard time remembering Savannah ever being that tiny newborn pictured above, or even as a toddling one year old.  It seems like we’ve always had this intelligent, curious, sassy little girl.

The two’s were filled with…well…two year old behavior. One minute she was my best little buddy and the next she was throwing a tantrum because it was time to leave the library. But even on a long, frustrating day there was always a redeeming moment that made the whole battle worth it; Like her falling asleep in my arms as if she was a baby again, or making up a new game before bedtime. Those moments are what keeps us Moms hanging on.

The two’s exploded our home with new words and an imagination that doesn’t stop, even at 2 am.  New skills emerged, like discovering her love to be crafty or cook like her momma, learning numbers and letters, how to build with blocks or finish puzzles.  The two’s brought new stories and voices (coming from the two year old mind/mouth) of princess dolls, Thomas the train, or anything she felt needed a voice. It seems like a new discovery was made every single day, it was a mind blowing year of development. It was the year we finally got sleep issues under control. The year she finally gave up the pacy and crib, officially becoming a “big girl.”

And now, we have a three year old. I imagine that means even more development, independence, and sassy attitude but I hope it also means more great memories as she blooms into the person she is.

Happy Birthday, Savannah! We love you, oh, so, very much.

My, how we’ve come so far in just 3 years.

As individuals and as a family.

It’s official, we’re finally home owners as of yesterday!  It went smooth and quickly once we (we, meaning my awesome “team” of people working while I sat around stressed) got over some speed bumps.  Is it worth that stress in the end? Yes.

In fact, I was a little sad when it was all signed and keys delivered that the process was over.  As I mentioned before, I had a great realtor and I told her I will miss driving around on the weekends and exchanging a bazillion emails everyday.  It’s kind of like getting married, you look forward to it and plan for months, waiting and waiting, and finally it gets here. It’s a burst of excitement and then, boom. It’s over!  It’s weird having met another “first” milestone in my life. I feel like an adult, yet also like I’m playing an elaborate game of pretend house.

Is this really ours?

Did I really get to pick my own kitchen color?

Are these really my own dishes? Finally out of boxes after three years?

Is this really my own daughter in her own future big girl cotton candy pink room?

Why, yes. Yes it is. Crazy.

My uncle started the painting process just hours after we signing the papers. It’s looking amazing and feels more cozy already.  I can’t wait to get our furniture in there to really see what it looks like as “ours” (don’t worry, I’ll post pictures!)  However, move-in date was postponed to next weekend because of the closing delays and now we’ve supposedly got winter weather coming. But, the good news is that gives us time to have a brand new washer and dryer delivered, the paint will all be finished, we’ll have blinds up, and hopefully it won’t be 15 degree weather to haul things around in. The bad news is, that will only give me TWO weeks to get the house looking decent before Savannah huge birthday party (our RSVP’d guest list is at 22 right, could be up to 35. I hope yall like to stand or sit on the floor!) Things happen for a reason, I just have to keep telling myself that.

Have I mentioned how blessed I feel? Thank you, God!

The people: Mommy and Savannah

The scene: Savannah is playing with a Micky Mouse Train ornament while Mommy is watching her go around and around the coffee table saying, “Choo choo!”

The dialouge:

Mommy: *smelling something stinky* Savannah, do you have a poop?

Savannah: *gives me a funny look* No, that’s the coal. We don’t change the coal!

Apparently her and Micky train are one, and her poops fuel his engine. LOL!  Her imagination has really taken off in the past few weeks and it’s so fun to hear her take things she’s learning (like that trains need coal) or things she hears from us daily (like after her juice is gone she has to drink water) being interjected into her playtime.  It’s so funny!

I love being her Mom :-)

Every since last Thursday when I was on the radio, it has renewed my passion. I have many passions in life, but particularly, my passion for writing and sharing our adoption story. I strongly feel that coming up on 6 years ago when I became pregnant and made the choice of adoption with God’s leading the way, that in turn He gave me the gift of writing.  In fact, I started blogging when I was pregnant with Kaylee. It was not much of a blog/journal, it was filled with exclamation points that had no reason to be there, a ton of “LOL’s”, lots of complaining about pregnancy symptoms, and in general just youthful in content and grammar (I was 16, after all).  However, after Kaylee’s birth I obviously dealt with a lot of emotions and God revealed Himself to me more, and so my writing became more seasoned and meaningful.  By the time Kaylee had turned one, I knew in the dept of my soul that God wanted me to use our story and use my writing to proclaim who God truly is and show that adoption can be such a blessing.

I wrote my story out in many places, mostly online but also academically and many of my papers were chosen to share with students. Seriously, just every research paper I’ve done in college has related back to adoption in some way.  One amazingly inspirational English teacher I had at Appalachian State  commented on one of my papers, “Content is always the most important and yours is always so compelling when you write on this subject!  You really should consider writing about your experiences for publication!” (Between his encouragement and my Dad’s, that is why I became an English major).

People have told me I should write a book for years, and trust me, I want to.  I have plans in my head but it’s scary to commit the time when I have no idea where to begin, or who to take my writing to.  I need a magic formula, do you  have one? But, the comment last week from the radio host confirmed to me again that I need to do this. Not just to sell books, not just to get my name out there, not for my glory but for God’s. And also to preserve my feelings and thoughts in paper, in hopes that it encourages others and one day it will give Kaylee a deeper understanding of my time with her and how much I love her.

I don’t know when I’ll start writing, I mean really writing. I always assumed I would wait until I graduated because then I would have more free time, right?  I’ve learned that with Motherhood there is no such thing as free time, whether you are in school or work or stay at home.  So I need to stop making excuses and let God lead the way, eh?

Seriously though, if you have a magic writing formula to follow or just a good resource about how to go about this, please do share!

Well, she’s officially 2 years old as of 9:22 pm.

I wrote the other day how it wasn’t really affecting me emotionally, but putting her to bed tonight started the reminiscing and in general just missing her tiny little newborn body.  She was exhausted tonight after a long day playing in her new tents and tunnels with Daddy (great present, Grandma E!) and she easily fell asleep in my arms as I stroked her soft hair.  It took me back to the first time I saw her, 2 years ago.  The first time I fed her.  Our first days home.  It’s all a big blur now, like a sideshow flashing by, but some times the memories stop on one slide and I can remember.  As she fell asleep I prayed for her to know how much we love her, as does God. I thanked the Lord will all my full little heart for what sweet, sweet girl she is and how much joy she brings in our lives.  I looked at her and thought that even though motherhood is tough, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.  It’s those sweet silent moments that make it all so worth it.

Anyway, the party yesterday as a blast.  Kaylee sadly could not make it this year as she is sick, like really sick and has been throwing up for a week (no thank you!).  So, her Mom said when they all get better we’ll have a visit soon. Victoria was also supposed to come visit me for a few days but it didn’t work out this time. Hopefully next month though!  Otherwise, it was a packed house and the party was a great.    And, even though I’ve cut out sugar…I sure enjoyed eat some of that cake!

P.S. Please note the second picture from the top of the right column. That is Savannah angry and screaming that we took the cake away when she snuck it before bedtime. HA!

Today is an important day.  Not just because of the USA’s change of power and that our new president is the first African American of our history, but because today it snowed!  Which, therefore marks history in our little family’s memories as it was Savannah’s first experience with it. And, Mark and I were just plain excited to see snow again as it’s not been around these parts for a few years besides flurries. To see snow stick is amazing!  Mark tried to go to work but couldn’t get there and had to turn around so he got to experience this first with us. And we only have 2 inches or less. Go ahead and laugh, Northerners.  It’s not a whole lot, but enough to still enjoy the beauty and fun of it.

Behold our snow bunny, who just finished her first sled ride. Clearly, she’s ready to go again:

And then she discovered that snow tastes good. And she wouldn’t stop eating it, even to sled or play. “It’s yummy, mmm good!:

Also? Thank goodness for hand me downs. Since we hadn’t seen a “good” snow (again, you may laugh if you wish) in years I didn’t think to buy any snow gear. But, I remembered I saw a snow suit in her stash of hand me downs some where, and it was just the right size!  I was stumped with what to do about snow boots, we definitely don’t have any of those, and then I remembered that Kaylee had given Savannah her old pair of Barbie boots that would work (although, they are still too big).  They aren’t made for snow but they definitely do the job better than tennis shoes! And me? I’ve yet to unpack my snow gear (except my snow boots) from my college days in the mountains, so I had to do with 3 pairs of pants on (boy, I looked more meaty than normal).

And so that’s our excitment of the day.  Making memories. And dealing with the worse melt-down (no pun intended) of this new year when we had to come inside because her little cheeks and hands were freezing. Eventually watching snow fall through the window was good enough.

How in the world is it already October?  I’m loving the cooler, but not cold, weather. It’s a nice break from the 90-100 degree heat we were having this summer. But still, after fall means it’s winter. Which means it gets cold, bare, and depressing. It feels like the longest season there is. I’m not looking forward to it except those wonderful family holidays and traditions that take place in winter and hopefully (hopefully, maybe) snow. Savannah hasn’t got to experience it yet, so hopefully this is the year!

Anyways, enough winter talk since we’re just barely into fall now. I’m getting in the autumn mood with my new desk top, thanks to Girl Talk.

These pictures were taken last Halloween, Savannah was just 8 months old. *sigh* It makes me miss my little baby! (One day, one day.)  This year she will be dressed as Tinker Belle, she loves it and calls herself “Pretty.” We bought it last year at the Disney Store on super clearance for about $8.00, a great deal! I think that will be our family tradition until she actually cares what she wears, buy something after Halloween each year :-)  She can always wear it as dress up clothes if she doesn’t want it for Halloween.

(P.S. Still haven’t heard about the silverware price. hmm…)

I promise we’re still alive and well. I’ve just been busy…or not in the mood for writing. (Of course I finally start writing and some one calls!)

Things we’ve been up to:
1. Little surprises for Mark for when we get back home tomorrow. Just had to throw that in there to drive him crazy!

2. Playing games and shopping with my little sister. We got matching shoes. And, Savannah shop-lifted a bracelet! Oy. I returned it promptly.

3. Painted the hallway with my Dad. I’ve become a mighty good trim painter, if I do say so myself. Plus, it was just nice to do something with my Dad, that doesn’t happen often these days and it’s exactly why I just had to come back for another visit since he wasn’t around much last time because of work.

4. Said goodbye to our cat, Sam. For this, I am so glad I made the spontaneous decision to come to my parent’s earlier than planned, because other wise I wouldn’t have gotten to spend so much time with Sambo, or maybe even not have gotten to say goodbye.

See, this cat was nearly as old as I was, I can’t remember a time he wasn’t around at my Dad’s. We think he turned 19 this past Wednesday and that makes him a little under 2 years younger than I am, with myself almost 21. He went down hill extremely fast just since I had gotten here and we all just knew it was time. It was horrible to see him in so much pain, hardly being able to move around. He hadn’t eaten or drank much in days so he was literally pretty much starving and dehydrating before our eyes. We spent Friday snuggling him, telling him how much we loved him, said our final goodbyes, and eventually they took him to the vet.

I’m sure you guys could care less about our cat, but to us he was like another member of our family and it’s been hard to not have him around. And surely, if you’ve ever lost a pet, you know how it feels.

I keep thinking about how when I was little he liked to come sleep on my chest at night when I stayed with my Dad. And some how this week, he managed to make the climb up our steps and up to my room where I was working on some editing to have one last good snuggle. I will forever cherish that moment, knowing that he climbed up stairs, willing to jump up on to the very tall bed (but I didn’t let him, I picked him up since he’d had a habit of falling lately), in his fragile state just to come be with me for a little bit longer. He was such a sweet kitty.

I know he’s in a much better place now, free of pain and playing with his best friend, our dog who passed away 10 years ago.

Remember that hand-me-down dress shared from Kaylee to Savannah? Well, I found something even better in that same box from Kaylee: My own dress.

I had this picture taken when I was two years old. I know, I was cute, wasn’t I? This has always been my favorite picture of me as a child, me in my “fishy” dress. Which, until last week, I really thought it was fishies. But apparently they’re whales (it almost was a “Santa isn’t real?!” moment inside). And now 4 girls have worn this dress: myself, my little sister, Kaylee and now Savannah.

And I’ll keep holding onto it for Savannah to pass down one day, too. Of course, it could be completely out of style by then, but oh well. Memories are memories, treasures and treasures. No matter how out dated.

Yes, one year ago today…this was our day.

(Hint: If you’d like to hear the beautiful Cannon by Pacabel that I walked down the isle to, click the little speaker button in the bottom left corner of the slide show. When you’re done, you can click it again to turn the music off)

And today, it is again as we celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary! As I’m writing this, one year ago I was finishing up my final beauty touches and waiting patiently (or…trying…) to begin walking down the isle. The ceremony was set to start at 11 am. I remember those last few moments as a single woman being completely excited, yet oh-so-nervous. I remember peaking around the stair case to glance at my soon to be husband and him not seeing me. I remember hearing the cuing music and taking my Dad’s arm as we began the walk and him saying, “You’re doing good, you haven’t tripped yet!” Oh, those sweet moments.

It was a most wonderful day, perfect in every way. The weather cooperated, the birds sang, people showed up to share our joy, we had our best friends and family surrounding us, I didn’t trip, I didn’t sob during the whole ceremony, Mark didn’t shove cake on my face, I danced with my daughter…and most importantly I married my best friend . Yes, it was a perfect day.

I’ve heard it a million times: The first year is always the toughest. It wasn’t that bad for us, though we certainly have faced our challenges. A new baby, living with the in-laws, both full time students, sicknesses, too many clothes to fold, etc. But really? I wouldn’t have it any other way. God has blessed us in many ways and helped us through so much.

Here’s to us, Sweetie, and may this next year be even sweeter than this past one. I love you.

(Now excuse me while I ago cry, I can’t believe it’s already been a year)