Ok yall, this past month has proven to be a trying one for us regarding Savannah.  Maybe it has something to do with “knowing” something is different with a new baby coming, maybe it’s just the fact that she’s 2 and fighting for any control she can get.  But, whatever it is, please help!

1)  She won’t eat. While this isn’t exactly a “new” thing, it’s normal for her to go through phases of not eating much and then suddenly being a pig again. The doctor has never been worried because it’s normal for kids to be like that and we figure she’ll eat when she’ hungry (heck, I’m the same way!). But for the past month she seriously refuses to eat, resulting in weight loss. Now, Savannah is already REALLY small for her age (like me) so she can’t afford to lose more weight than she already doesn’t have.  She asks for one thing and then asks for another, I used to oblige in hopes she would eat, but then I just end up with 2 plates of not touched wasted food.

She also suddenly is REALLY picky about what she will eat. The foods she used to love, she now won’t touch or will only eat a bite or two. She used to love meats as long as it had ketchup on it. Now all she will eat is fruit and veggies, which while it is healthy for her, it is NOT filling. Which leads me to my next issue…

2) She won’t sleep. I know I’ve said a million times that we’ve always had some kind of sleep issue or another with her. But usually those sleep phases are short lived and has reasons to them like sickness or teething.  This time? She is not sick, and all her teeth are in so the only conclusion I can find is that she is just scared and REALLY dependent on Mark or I being in the room with her while she sleeps, and I think she keeps waking up at night because she didn’t eat dinner, so she’s hungry (she always asks for a “sanwich” in the middle of the night). Also, I’ve found that the rare times she DOES eat a good dinner, her night wake up calls happens later (11pm versus 3 or 4am).  So I’m sure hunger has to do with part of it.

And then, back to the issue of her being scared or just dependent on us. I don’t know what to do about this. We’ve battled this a million times in her 2 years of life, usually crying it out or giving in is our only options. But, this time crying it out leads to me being awake for 2 hours in the middle of the night because SHE won’t give in.  Or even if I sit in there with her until she falls asleep, it takes her atleast an hour or two for her to fall back asleep. But, if one of us goes in there to sleep (and lays down on the bed versus sitting on the floor) she’ll go right out.  So basically, my husband and I haven’t slept in the same bed in weeks and I hate it.  I also can’t remember the last night we slept the whole night through, which is sad. I’m not used to this lifestyle anymore (guess she’s preparing me early for our December arrival?).

In the past we kind of “weaned” her from how long we would stay in there while she was falling asleep but she will NOT have that now.  If she cannot see us, even with the door wide open and she can hear us say “We’re right here” she freaks out. She has to know that we are physially right by her to go to sleep. She has to absolutely be asleep for us to be able to leave the room (or we just fall asleep there…) I can’t do this forever.

What to do? Help us!

I need some help, folks.  See, Savannah isn’t a baby anymore. Which means she getting quite independent, testing her boundaries, and knows what she wants when she wants it.  Our problem?  Disipline. Her biggest offense is when we tell her “No” (no, we aren’t watching a movie right now, no we have go inside now, etc.) she hits us and throws things.  We quickly hold her hands and tell her sternly, “We do not hit.” And try to explain how being angry doesn’t mean we can hit or throw.  Usually, she’ll just do it again and then she goes to time out.

The problem here?  She likes time out. Currently, time out is in her crib because it’s a place she can’t just get up and out of.  However, the pacy resides in the crib as well, so now she asks to go to time out just to be with her pacy.  Yes, we’ve taken the pacy away during this time too once we realized what was going on, but it still hasn’t altered her behavior.

Also, I do not feel comfortable with spanking/popping my child in most small cases like this.  Especially, when she just got done hitting me and I tell her “Do not hit!” and then I hit her. I don’t want to send mixed messages.  I don’t believe a child has to be spanked to be appropriately disciplined (something my husband and I differ on).

What do I do?  What do/did you do at this age? It’s so hard to know what is appropriate because she is still so young and may or may not understand why.  Tell me your secrets!

I’m frustrated.  The more I do the research and more that I try to live a healthier life style…I keep getting slapped with the hidden truth and reality that my country (the USA) sucks at being healthy and therefore makes it difficult to be healthy.

Exhibit A: It’s now known that there is mercury in high fructose corn syrup (in addition to all the other risk factors of HFC). Which, makes me even more thankful that I’ve changed my diet and haven’t even touched HFC in nearly 3 weeks. But, my husband and daughter still eat whatever they want.  My daughter I could make the choice for her, but my husband? He’s set in his ways, he could care less and probably thinks I’m crazy for the holistic approach I’ve taken to life recently.

Exhibit B: I figured I’d get rid of the toxic products I’ve been using for years as well and traded my .99 cent Suave shampoo for a $8 Burt’s Bee’s shampoo.  The label sounded perfect, not only would my hair be full, voluminous and smell fabulous but it’d also be paraben free, SLS free, etc.  I was willing to spend $8 to get rid of those nasty cancer causing chemicals.  But oh, wait!  I went to Skindeep (cosmetic safety database) and decided to see if it truly was “better” and healthier than my cheap Suave. Guess what? It’s not. (See here for Burt’s Bees Very Voluminous rating, here for Suave clarifying) it has the same rating of moderate toxicity.  Sure, the label on Burt’s Bee’s is clear of harsh chemicals and looks perfect, but they hid the toxic stuff under the label “Perfume.”  Companies are allowed to not list “trade secrets” and they hid the crap under that secret code name.

Ever look at the ingredients of your make up or shampoo bottles?  Have you ever gone to cosmeticdatabase.com and looked at the facts in the face that just about every product that touches our skin is linked to cancer? And people wonder why our kids are dying of cancer at a young age, why it’s becoming like an epidemic, or why couples are more and more being diagnosed as infertile?  THIS is the reason, folks (or at least one of them). Because the companies we use ever single day are being allowed to put harsh chemicals in our products with no repercussions.  Sure, they may say it’s not that much used in the product but when we use them day after day, year after year it builds up. And why, if these chemicals are so bad for us have they not been banned? Europe has banned them. WHY NOT US?

I’m finding that more and more, as I do the research, that our lives are saturated with pure nastiness. Our face washes, house cleaners, laundry detergents.  You know that famous Johnston & Johnston baby shampoo you are using on your precious baby at bath time? Full of toxins. Even the food we eat! You would think shopping at a health food store that all the products they carry would be chemical free and safe, right? Wrong!  Some lotions clearly have parabens in them on their labels.  Companies like Burt’s Bees, Jasons, 7th Generation, Method, etc. that claim to be natural can still have harmful toxins. Why are companies stooping to these low levels? Oh, I know because they are more concerned about money than about the quality of products and health of their customers.

I’m just sick of this. Sick. I have read way too many blogs lately about kids dying from cancer all of a sudden. I’m tired of letting the beauty industry tell me and millions of other girls and women what products to use that will make us more beautiful, less wrinkly, smell great, etc. when really all the products do is lead us closer to death.

My point in sharing this with you folks: Do your research. Don’t continue living in a life saturated with chemicals that may harm you or children, now or later on in life.  Don’t let the beauty industry (or any industry) fool us any more, stand up with me. Get mad with me. Let’s change it.

P.S. I’ve received several comments from people upset that I’ve stopped blogging. That means a lot to me that I’m missed!  But I promise, I will continue blogging, but just need a break to let go of the pressure of having to do it. So from now on when I blog it’s because I want to, like with this post.

More Resources:

-Environmental Working Group

-High on Health

-America the Beautiful Documentary

-Food Matters Documentary

Taking a break from my classes and studying to wonder…why does God give me all my friends at a distance?  All my life I’ve moved around and had to adjust to new homes, enviroments, new schools, and new friends.  So that means, most of my friendships that I’ve had growing up have been left to being a distant connection, with little to talk about anymore as we’ve moved in seperate directions.

But then there are the connections I’ve made over the internet, like Breanna, or Victoria that have become the closest friendships I’ve ever had besides my family and husband. And it’s because of them I question, why God? Why must they live so far away?!  Victoria and I have known each other for 3 years but just recently met for the first time in October (yeah, I know neither of us has posted about it yet!).  What’s so neat is that despite the distance of 3 years, you would have thought we’d known each other all our lives. It’s fascinating to me.  Last night we were able to chat for 2 hours, and it’s so wonderful to talk with another God-loving person who understands my struggles in my relationship with Christ, prays for me, and praises God when I tell her good news and vice-versa.  We laugh together, to the point of snorting. Good times.  And while I love our relationship, it stinks she is so far away! I so desire a supportive and encouraging  relationship that I can talk about Christ and struggles and prayers in person over a cup of coffee. But, I can’t seem to find that person. Hm.

Still, I treasure the friendships that God has provided through the internet, because otherwise, I just might be truly friendless! ha.  And I thank God that we’re all atleast “close” enough to visit each other every once and awhile.

Apparently, I am not meant to have a free photobook.  Last weekend, Inkubook was giving away free photobooks to readers of Simple Mom. So, I upload all the photos and patiently waited…and waited…and waited…

The program froze on me.  I got tired of waiting and just left it be, not wanting to try again and waste my time.  Plus, I knew that I still had a free book from Snapfish thanks to Oprah.

So, tonight I realized was the last day to take advantage of the Snapfish offer and I got to it. I just spent the last two-three hours carefully choosing the right photos (sorting through HUNDREDS).  I’d gotten through 10 pages of designing my book…and see that the credit isn’t in my account anymore.  WHAT?! I just wasted MORE of my time for nothing?  I’m not about to pay that huge chunk of money they now want me to pay. And? Even if I did want to order it? It’s now gone into the world of cyber space, never to be seen again. Even thought I hit ‘save.’

GAH, I’m ticked. Stop wasting my time photobook sites!

Alright, I finally have a chance to just sit and breathe and write.  Between the crazy end-of-school semester demands, traveling, and now a sick Savannah, it’s been hectic around here. And it will only get worse.  Which, is why I’m glad I took a week off to figure out what is really important in my life right now and refocus things.

First of all, I’ve loved reading all your comments of encouragement and knowing that there are others who struggle with time management as well.  I’m glad that God used this blog to reach others and remind us all where and how we should be spending our time and talents.

Things I learned this week from staying off the computer except when needed:

1. Holy cow I can get so much more done! I was able to get the house cleaned, loads of over-due laundry done, pack for my trip, etc. I felt so much more productive and efficient.

2. Gosh, I love my little girl. Not that I needed time off to learn that, but rather I was reminded how amazing she is and to treasure it more.  We turned off the TV for most of the day, watching way less than before and playing out side if it was warm enough.  So, therefore we spent more time bonding and making goofy games and just having fun.

But sadly, that was about the extent of my effort.  I tried to go to bed earlier and spend some time reading the Bible before bed but that only lasted for a night or two.  I felt no closer to God than before, as He was just an after thought after my day was done and I hardly remembered to even pray before I went to sleep because I was just too exhausted.

Today though, I set my alarm to get up for school 15 minutes early so that I could use those few minutes for some quiet time between me and God in the mornings.  What a difference it makes to start you day with God!  I felt like I started my day on the right track and I felt much more connected with Him throughout the day.   I highly recommend sacrificing a few minutes of sleep to spend time in His word and devoting each day to His glory.

In fact, I feel motivated now to start waking up every day at 6am, even when I don’t have to, so that I can always get that time with God and start my day productively. If you know me, this is totally not me. It must be a “God thing” (as Victoria would say, which deserves a whole post devoted to our visit! Coming soon).  I am a girl who likes her sleep and likes to sleep in whenever possible, so to want to give up that precious sleep to be near God is not of me. And I’m so thankful for that.

So, that’s really my week in a nutshell. Improvements, disappointments in myself, but God is still working on me (and always will be, I suppose!).  I’m just glad to be starting some where, not matter how small the start, and taking action against the sloth my life was becoming. I want to live!

What do you do to keep your priorities in line?

See, back in August I was super stoked to find out that I won a blog makeover…for free! I’ve always wanted a personalized blog look, not just a layout that I adapt myself, as I have here now, with easy changes like headers and link colors.  You see, this blog isn’t just a blog to me, it’s my cyber home.  It’s my personal newspaper, my memory book, my photography portfolio, my digital scrapbooking page, my personal social network to meet other cool people.  And so, this blog deserves more than just a white canvas with outdated pictures of our family (from WAY over a year ago!), it deserves to express who I am as a person and what this blog stands for.

But, alas, the free prize fell through some how. The designer kept pushing back getting things done and eventually just stopped emailing me all together with design ideas and productivity. I’m sad and mad and just totally bummed.  But, I thought, “Hey! I’m good at learning things and good with designing things so let’s stretch myself and try to do what I want myself.”  And, it started out well. I got a beautiful header (thanks to the help of Little Dreamer Designs) and got it in place of the layout I chose.  But…things have ended sourly and I’m stuck.  The background image is HUGE, I can’t get the sidebars to change correctly to show my matching sidebar images, I can’t get the white space to disappear behind the header, etc. The list goes on and I’m done. Frustrated. See my bad work here (thank goodness it’s just my sample blog!).

I would totally pay some one to do it, but it’s just not in our ’2 college student and a toddler’ budget right now (Most designs run over $60! I’ve even seen into the hundreds! Crazy).  And so, what I need help with is this: Either you (or some one you can refer me to) use your nifty blog skills to help me figure out this mess to make it look good. Or, out of the kindness of your blog designing heart, create my dream layout for me (what I have started is NOT it, just something I could live with).

Please? Help? Referrals? Any kindness in those hearts?

Two things:

1) The Bed Issue.  We finally got the crib out of the attic and the tent put on it.  She loves it! and it has solved our problem safely. She even likes to just go in her crib to play.  Now we’re dealing with her not wanting to go to sleep without someone in the room with her (scared?) and she keeps waking up at 2am talking and playing, which then wakes me up through the monitor and I can’t fall back asleep. Still, these are minor issues compared to what we were dealing with and it will be go back to “normal” soon. She tends to have these phases.

2) The Silverware Issue.  The cabin rental company did email me back and say the owners are willing to sell the set to me! I’m still waiting to hear what price they are asking.  Hopefully it’ll be a great price since they are well used.  But, if it’s close to the price of just buying a brand new set that is similar looking, I won’t do it. I haven’t told Mark yet I emailed the owners, ha! So, we’ll see what happens soon :-)

Off to class!

Thank you guys for the wonderful comments on the whole sleep issue. We’ve decided just not to push it anymore, since clearly she is not ready for the transition yet.  In deciding that, however, we were still left with the dilemma with what to do about her crib and climbing out.  And then, I got a glorious comment from Angel that mentioned the crib tent. (Thank you! You really are an Angel!)

This is totally the solution for us right now. It’s a win-win situation.  Savannah gets her beloved crib back, and we adults feel safe again with leaving her in there.   We bought one yesterday, but have yet to drag the crib back out of the attic and try everything out. I just can’t let her sleep in that hard port-a-crib for the next 6 months to a year until she’s ready for her bed. A girl deserves a proper bed, yes? And, added bonus, she can’t throw out her pacies when she gets mad at us for putting her to bed! Muahaha!

Oh, I hope this in the win-win solution I hope it will be! I’ll let you know. And again, thank you for all the suggestions! It helps just to simply know that we’re not alone.

I need to go study so I won’t get a C on my two tests tomorrow…but before I do that…I just had to share what my crazy girl did.  I’m laughing at how silly she is, so that I won’t break down in tears.

See, for the past 2 and half weeks we have been trying, unsuccessfully, to switch  her to the big girl bed.  We decided to make the move, even though she is just 18 months old, because she was extremely close to climbing out and we feared breakage of the neck.  The first night it took 2 hours to get her to sleep, but she did it and slept through the entire night. The next day, she took a nap in her new bed. I was hopeful, frustrated but hopeful.

Since then, she’s slept in her bed only a handful of times.  The second night she sobbed and sobbed so I bought back out the pack-n-play crib to ease her fears.  This process by far has been the most frustrating and hardest thing I’ve had to deal with as a parent. Some nights she screams bloody murder about going to bed, some nights she falls asleep without any problems, some nights she just plays and plays and plays until we just have to put her in the crib so we can go to bed ourselves.

We have seen improvement in that she knows now to stay in bed when we say to, but it’s still a battle pretty much every single time.  She chooses to sleep in her bed, but when she doesn’t listen and tries to get up, she’s warned that she will go into her crib.  Sometimes it works, mostly it doesn’t, and she just ends up in her pack-n-play crib because that’s pretty much the only place she’ll readily go to sleep now.  It takes anywhere from 45-2 hours to get her to sleep now and it’s wearing us thin.

We’ve tried everything. The girl is just the most hard headed thing (really, I don’t know where she gets it).  If we try to discipline her with “popping” her bottom or hand she just laughs at us and does it again.  Oh, we are doomed as we head into the terrible twos. Nothing works with her.

Our Dr. recommend just leaving her in her room (baby proofed) with a gate so she cannot get out. He said she may play, but eventually she should go to sleep.  Sounds good, right? Logically, that’s the only thing that worked when we were training her to sleep in her crib throughout the night as well. But, I don’t know if this will work. Today, after an hour of her playing alone I came into this:

What am I going to do with her?!  And seriously, please, please give me some advice on how to get her to sleep.  Once she lets herself fall asleep, she’s great and sleeps through the night. She just won’t let herself get to that point most nights unless she’s in her crib. She’s too distracted by her cool shutter doors, or her baby doll.

Perhaps that’s the answer right there. Take away all the fun stuff like toys and stuffed animals (and hide the dirty clothes….) so it’s less enticing to play. I want her to be bored and go to bed. It could work. Maybe?

HELP! How did you make the switch? How long did it take?