Like I said before, 2010 was a fabulous year for me. I realized though after posting that there was so much more to it than just materialistic things like our new house, car, and my graduation diploma…there were prayers answered. It was God-filled. While certainly I feel like God blessed us with being able to purchase our own house and replace my falling apart car with a new one…things happened in 2010 that cannot be bought for any price. 

I can easier admit now that after my miscarriage of the twins, I was left doubting God and quite frankly was angry at Him. How could he take away my babies? I am fertile-myrtle, things like that don’t happen to me! Strangely though, I did have peace in their loss even as it happened and knew that it happen for a reason, but I still held on to blaming God for that hurt in my life as time went by. Thankfully though, God has used Jaxson’s pregnancy to help me overcome that, to trust Him again and prove that He is still trustworthy even when things don’t happen as we think they should.  Essentially, I feel He has used Jaxson’s pregnancy and birth to bring so many blessings and answered prayers in my life this past year. I clung to God as I found out I was pregnant with Jaxson because otherwise fear overcame me that I would lose that pregnancy, too. As many of us know, that desperation of no where else to turn is what brings us closer to God, and I’m thankful for that even though its hard!  Then, as Jaxson’s birth neared I clung to Him even more as I prepared to give birth the way I felt He intended it to be…naturally. As a result, He put so many wonderful people and resources in my path that helped me through my journey and were a huge support.  I truly feel like God was present at Jaxson’s birth, from giving me the strength to do it naturally, to watching over us as Jax came out with the cord around his neck four times and myself bleeding too much afterward.  Many people, especially family, were skeptical or worried about Jaxson’s birth and us using a birth center outside of the hospital but I felt in the depths of my heart that God had promised this birth to me in the way I desired and I held onto that promise.  He was our strength and protector.

Also, a huge answered prayer was a simple one: friends. Being a young Mom and wife, a birthmom, a Christian, etc. I have often felt like I don’t always “fit in.”  Really, more like caught in the middle.  Especially when I was still in college, I wasn’t a typical collage student that partied or lived near campus to be able to join in with people I met in classes. I went to school and went straight home to my baby girl and husband, and that was totally fine with me! But, it also felt odd to try to get to know women who did have a husband and kids because I am, well, usually a lot younger than them. Not that it bothers me at all to hang out with people older than me, but I just don’t want to be judged by my youngness. My life style was a mix of the “young” crowd and the “stay at home mom” crowd but with no one place to accommodate both. So, basically, Mark and I were our own best friends and my only other close friends lived hours and states away like Breannaor Victoria. I know my online friendships have value and are blessings in themselves but, of course, I really craved having someone (or a few someones!) that I could get to know really well locally. I wanted to be able call someone up for coffee each week or have a playdate with our kids while we chatted. I seriously prayed for years that God would bring some one that 1) was Christian that I could have spiritual conversations with 2) had kids so they understood my lifestyle.  And finally, in 2010 that happened. Not one, but several friends (thanks to my favorite Mommy Network!) that I can call and vent things to, to pray with me, to encourage each other, to watch our kids play together…such huge blessing! Now in 2011 I pray that Mark can find that same connection with men in our area because I know he is feeling just as I was and I know its hard at times. Life with friends to share and do things with is much sweeter!

So, in 2011 I pray that we are even more God-filled. That I can grow closer to God, to go to chuch more than 1 time a month, break out of my shell to actually get connected and know people, like through a small group. I pray that I can have a heart to serve just as others have helped me this past year when I needed it. I pray Mark feels that calling to God too, gets connected with others, and we in-turn grow together as a married couple in Christ. I pray that this year we truly realize that our body is a temple and we should treat it that way…therefore eating healthier as a family. I pray Savannah continues to grow in and learn about God (more on that soon!). I pray all my kids, whether with me or not, are safe, healthy, and know they are loved by me and God.

Seriously, 2010 was the best year ever. In so many ways. I sit here with a sleeping baby boy in my lap, warm and cozy in my house, a diploma in my possession resembling goals met and hardwork, beautiful snow on the ground, playdates planned for later this week, and I can’t help but feel blessedly fuzzy inside. Thank you, God, for everything. I know 2011 can be just as filled, if not more, with us clinging to Him as our foundation.

I’ve been blessed to be able to take trips by myself since Savannah was born thanks to my wonderful in-laws helping out with child-care.   I truly believe that getting some “me time” is refreshing and only helps better my relationship with Savannah because it’s so exciting to come back home to her.   The first 2 years after she was born traveling by myself went to halt since I needed to be with her to nurse or simply because the money wasn’t in the budget, but for some reason since this past August  I have managed a girls weekend beach trip, a long weekend trip to Indiana to see Bre, and now a new opportunity has arisen to visit Victoria up north for her birthday! This will be the longest trip away yet, nearly a week. Whoa.

This southern girl is going to experience the big cities like Philadelphia and maybe even New York City!

I’m so excited because I get to see her “territory”, our visits so far have always been at my house. It’ll be neat to see places and meet people I always hear about :-) And, it’ll be neat to see places I’ve always seen on TV or movies.  Or go snow tubing (we don’t have much snow down here, yall). Or go to museums because we’re nerds like that.  Or, just talk for hours like we always do!

Also? Southwest Air has some amazing deals.  Truly, truly a blessing to find their deal which ended up saving me about $130 in air fare and baggage fees (seriously, charging for bags on top of your ticket price is ridiculous!).

So, for you readers who are familiar with Philly or NYC,  we need your help: What is there fun to fun to see and do that’s cheap?  Any tips on taking the train from Philly to NYC? Or how to navigate NYC? Or, um, any tips what-so-ever you have, like how not to get mugged?

(Who wants to bet I’ll really be missing Savannah and Mark by the time the week is over despite how much fun I’ll have had? Me.)

Ah, it’s been a wonderfully refreshing trip. (And I’m not even home yet! I figured I’d write something now because I know I won’t have time when I get home between school work, laundry, and ya know, spending time with my family like I’m accused of not doing. ha.)

The flight to Indiana on Friday was frustrating.  It was just a crappy day to fly, with lots of clouds and rain, which apparently put us behind on my first flight.  We didn’t land in Detroit for my connection flight until 15 minutes before my other flight left. Which means, I had to hurry off of RUN all the way across the airport (and if you know me, I do not run…) to try and catch it before I left. And I did. *Whew* The plane was still there, with the steps and everything….but they wouldn’t let me on. In fact, there were a whole group of us that were late due to our plane and they wouldn’t let us on. With the plane RIGHT THERE! Stupid. We had to walk all the way to the other side of the airport again to catch another flight, which put me behind when I was supposed to arrive about 1.5 hours.  I hate Detroit. I will never go there again, simply for the rude staff and the ridiculous layout of that airport. The one good thing they did was get my luggage on the right plane.

Moving on. I met up with Bre and we made our way to eat lunch/dinner with a wonderfully sweet adoptive Mom and her three year old daughter. We knew her from the message board Breanna and I met on, so it was neat to meet another one of those amazing ladies that we’ve known for years. Also? Her daughter reminded me so much of Savannah in the way she talked and acted, I bet they would have gotten along well if I had brought her :-)  After that we went shopping, mainly to walk the aisles of Babies R Us where I shared my experience as a Mom and what products I used or would use if I could do it over again.  She ended up with a cart load!  It’s amazing how much new stuff is already out since Savannah, there are definitely things I will be going back for when it’s our time for a new baby again.  And later, Bre shared with me her experience of having her own house and what products are good for my Christmas list (which is all house things in preparation for our move next year), so we both gained insight from each other :-)

Pretty much every morning I’ve been able to sleep in until at least 9:30 (yesterday, 10:30!) and drink my hot tea in silence, which is very rare in my motherhood world. It’s been nice. However, sleeping in 4 days in a row makes the days fly by and almost feels like a waste. As weird as it is, it made me grateful that Savannah gets me up earlier so that I actually do things with my day besides sleep.  I still enjoyed it while it lasted but it just gave me a new appriciation for getting up early when I have to.

Other things we did: Went to Target twice (gotta love Target!), made modpodge shoes (will post pictures later!), ate smores by a bonfire, took a walk, watched “Sunshine Cleaning,” and went to Bre’s doctor appointment.

I will say, I’m doing a lot better emotionally wise than I thought I would.  As you may know, Bre and I got pregnant around the same time and were due within just a week or two of each other. Sure at times I have thought to myself, “that would be me right now, I would be seven months pregnant” but mostly, I’m just thrilled for her.  They will make great parents, and I know she felt the same bittersweetness when I was pregnant with Savannah. But still, it is odd going to the doctor and not being the pregnant one , experiencing the pokes and prods and the movements as the baby squirms away from the heart doppler. But, I’m okay.  Sure, it makes the desire for another child stronger, but I know God will bless us in His time.

And now, as this trip is nearing it’s end, I’m mostly grateful that I had not just some “me” time away from my home world, but Bre time as well.  There’s nothing like spending time with your best friend, especially when she’s preparing for a baby. It’s been exciting to share this time with her in person instead of through a computer screen. Hoping for another trip in the spring to be able to meet their new addition :-)

Of course, we forgot to take pictures of our trip (except of shoes…). Lame.

I realize this is my first ‘real’ post in oh…about a month. I promise I have good reason, plus I’ve just not felt like writing.  And honestly, I still don’t, so lets tell the story of our lives in the past month through pictures!

First, we had our spring break in Tennesse with one of my bestest friends Breanna and her hubby. Hurrah for seeing good friends!

We rented a cabin at the VERY top of mountain and enjoyed a goregous view the whole time (minus the rainy clouds the entire trip…).

While in TN we took Savannah to see the fishies and she had a stare down with the gigantic ones. I think the aquarium was the highlight of her trip, she is still talking about it nearly a month later.

By this point in March, Savannah had been teething her last molars (thank God!) and Mark had some serious strep throat issues before we left to TN in which I had two babies to pamper and I feared we would have to cancel our trip.

(pretend sick Mark is here)

Then after spring break midterm papers and exams where due, so we all were busy and stressed.

(pretend stressed picture is here)

But then, life settled down and we got some gorgeous family pictures done by a local photographer! They turned out AMAZING, I cannot wait to get prints and post my entire room with them.

Then at the end of March, it was MY turn to get sick.  A cold turned into a nasty sinus infection/cough. However, I still managed to make it for a Victoria (and my family) visit last weekend!  We painted pottery together and just enjoyed lots of late night chats among my coughing fits :-)

And then, less than a week later…we were surprised by this:

That’s right! Baby # 2 in on the way :-) It’s not exactly how we planned it, but we are thrilled non-the-less.  Baby Snowball is due some time mid-December, which means I can still get summer and fall semesters done (I always go past my due date anyway, might as well be productive while I wait!). Then, I’ll take spring semester off so I can do all the baby wearing, nursing, stay-at-home-momming I want with TWO kids. 8 months later in August I’ll finish up my last semester and graduate in December 2010. Which, means I will only be 1 semester behind. Perfect timing if you ask me. Ya know, as far as unplanned things go.

Seriously though, we are excited as are all our parents and friends which is such a relief and NEW experience since I’ve had two other unplanned pregnancies that was met with grief the first few months. I guess being married and being more prepared pays off :-) So, expect this blog to take a new shift in writing topics as I go through this journey again in a whole new light.

1. We’re officially on spring break, and it kicked off to a fantastic start with Mark waking up with flu-like symptoms.  So we’ve had days of doctor visits, medicine dosage and waiting on him (yet also trying to avoid him).  Now, we think he has strep-throat but he is doing much better since he first came down with it. And Savannah and I are still holding up (*knock on wood*)

2. Tomorrow we leave for Tennessee to stay in a seriously AMAZING cabin with one of my best friends and her husband.  I’ll show you pictures when we get back, because the view? Is to die for.  I’ll be quite content to just stay inside and stare at it all day.  Or play pool or air hockey. Hopefully it will be as relaxing as we are hoping for since Savannah is tagging along with us. And last time she went on a trip? It was miserable and we got no sleep. Praying for the best.

3. Speaking of my best friend, she could use some prayers right now. I won’t say specifically why, but she needs some extra thoughts right now!

4. On a random health note: I started taking fish oil supplements and they have done wonders for my skin! It’s much more moisturized and smooth, the reddness has gone down, the big nasty puss filled zits have gone away.  And better yet, people are noticing the difference!  Plus, they’re just good for you all around from your brain to joints, unlike the antibiotics I considered taking that would do more harm than good. It’s only been about a week since I started, so I can’t imagine what a month will do in helping even things out. Hurrah!

5.  On a Savannah note: She’s only been to time out once since I posted about the discipline issue.  The last time, I sat in a chair WITH her during time out and having her calm down so we could talk about what happened (I read this in Girlfriends Guide to Toddlers).  It apparently threw her off so much that she doesn’t want to do that again. haha.  Or maybe we’re just hitting one of those short-lived “my child is an angel” phase. Cause right now? She’s amazing all around.

6.  It has been absolutely gorgeous here! This weekend was in the 70′s and clear blue skies. Savannah loves being outside, she asks constantly. She just loves to run and run in circles and explore the plants and rocks.  Oh, to be young.

7. Giveaway update: There is still lots of time left to enter from a free pair of eye glasses. Only ONE person has entered, come on now!

Taking a break from my classes and studying to wonder…why does God give me all my friends at a distance?  All my life I’ve moved around and had to adjust to new homes, enviroments, new schools, and new friends.  So that means, most of my friendships that I’ve had growing up have been left to being a distant connection, with little to talk about anymore as we’ve moved in seperate directions.

But then there are the connections I’ve made over the internet, like Breanna, or Victoria that have become the closest friendships I’ve ever had besides my family and husband. And it’s because of them I question, why God? Why must they live so far away?!  Victoria and I have known each other for 3 years but just recently met for the first time in October (yeah, I know neither of us has posted about it yet!).  What’s so neat is that despite the distance of 3 years, you would have thought we’d known each other all our lives. It’s fascinating to me.  Last night we were able to chat for 2 hours, and it’s so wonderful to talk with another God-loving person who understands my struggles in my relationship with Christ, prays for me, and praises God when I tell her good news and vice-versa.  We laugh together, to the point of snorting. Good times.  And while I love our relationship, it stinks she is so far away! I so desire a supportive and encouraging  relationship that I can talk about Christ and struggles and prayers in person over a cup of coffee. But, I can’t seem to find that person. Hm.

Still, I treasure the friendships that God has provided through the internet, because otherwise, I just might be truly friendless! ha.  And I thank God that we’re all atleast “close” enough to visit each other every once and awhile.

A quiet conviction has been stirring in my heart recently, it’s been eating away at my soul and slowly I’ve reached a point I must do something.  See, we’ve been attending church the past 3 Sundays (which, is a record since school started back…) and each message has convicted me of how I use my time, talents, my parenting skills, money, etc. Especially last Sunday, it was a message about stewardship and how we are managers of the gifts God has given us. Not just money, but time.  And that right there is at the core of what’s eating at me today.

Let me share humbly with you of how a day typically looks at in my house right now when I’m not at school:

Savannah wakes up around 8, therefore so do I.  We eat breakfast together and then we go back up stairs, turn on the TV and she watches one of the various children shows while I check all my online “stuff.”  We do this for hours, until we take our showers, eat lunch, and then she goes to take a nap.  I then check all my online stuff yet again, getting distracted from my home duties like laundry and homework for school.  When Savannah wakes up we eat a snack and play, but eventually she’ll demand to watch “Princess” shows again.  When Mark is home, he gets sucked into xbox games.  I’m sucked into checking my online stuff, and Savannah demands to watch more DVD’s.  When Savannah goes to bed, Mark and I are doing the same ol’ thing to the point that it’s way past our bedtime, we didn’t make time for God what so ever, let alone for time as a couple. We get to bed at 11, exhausted and hardly even wanting to have a conversation.

Sure, some days we get out of the house and go play at the park and have more family time. But, do you see the issues here, as I do?  Electronics are tearing apart my family.  We let Savannah watch WAY too much TV for an not-even-a 2-year-old and that kills me. I’m too sucked into my own “need” and addiction of the computer that I’m not being the best parent or wife I can be.  In turn, she’s starting to act out more for attention, understandable. I’m so wrapped up in reading about other people’s lives that I’m missing out on the best gift God has given me: My family.  I’m just sick of it. I’m sick of letting life go by with my staring at this screen all day.  I’m tired of not being connected to God and being an example of Christ to Savannah. I’m tired of not feeling connected with my own husband. It’s time for a change.

So what am I going to do?  I’m taking a break for a week.  Of course, there are some things I do need the computer for, like for schooling, my little letter business, and the reviews I do. But all the other “stuff” that just feed me information about other’s lives like Facebook, Flickr, Google Reader, etc? Even this blog, for a week, I want to put it aside and use the time I would be “checking stuff” to devote to raising my child the right way, building a relationship with my family again, and in general just figuring out how God wants me to use my time.  Continuing to live as I do now is leading me no where, but to bitterness and frustration. I want to live with the glory of God shining through me and everything I do, this is not the way.

Don’t think this is the end of my blog, it’s not.  I truly believe that God gave me my passion for writing as a gift and tool for His glory, but first I have to figure out (or rather, allow Him to show me) the best way to use it. And quite frankly, if I didn’t have this blog and writing, I would go insane! So, I know blogging does have a place in my life. If you need me, email me. But if not, I shall be back in a week, hopefully sharing some enlightful stories of how God is working in our lives. Have a wonderful week!

P.S. While I’m away I will be meeting the lovely Victoria next weekend! I am super stoked, as she is such an inspiration for a God filled life and just a sweat, dear friend to me.  Look for pictures and stories about that as well :-)

I have to say, I’m overwhelmed by all the birthday love I’ve been getting throughout the day. Thanks everyone! Comments, phone calls, and even presents in the MAIL! (Thanks Bre!) It’s turned out to be a simple, but good day. Nothing too exciting to tell, just another day at school and a lovely Spanish test to take, but I had a happy heart and smile on all day.

And while all the comments and presents are wonderful, by far the high light of my day was the simplest thing I could ask for: Hearing my Kaylee sing me happy birthday over the phone and then tell me about how she has “a lot of snot in her nose.” And knowing she asked to talk to me.

Melt my heart.

That said, we’re headed out tomorrow so you won’t be hearing much from me while I’m celebrating with friends, breathing in wonderful mountain air, and soaking in the gorgeous views.

I’m so blessed.

(P.S. Tomorrow another giveaway will be posted…worth $50! Come back tomorrow to see what it’s about.)

Changing my desktop every month has become a thrill to me. Before, I would have the same one for years at a time, but now I love being able to change it to express each month and display some of my favorite pictures.

This month happens to be one of my favorite months. Why? Well, a little thing called my birthday happens. And, it’s just a beautiful and more comfortable time of the year as fall begins to make it’s appearance. The desktop options made by various scrapbooking websites just didn’t fit the bill this month though. None of them were my style, and didn’t express what I wanted it to: My Birthday!

So, I attempted at making my own. I had issues with getting it to resize correctly to my screen size, but I’m satisfied. I picked my favorite colors of the moment, brown and pink, and chose a picture to get me excited about my birthday weekend.  Pretty much it just makes me feel special all month. That’s what birthdays are for, right?

See, I don’t have many friends (because I’m either too shy or too darn busy to build a close friendship near me) and the ones I do have happen to all live several hours away.  So, for my birthday I’m making a trip to visit Jessica in the beautiful mountains. I’m excited. Her birthday is tomorrow (Happy Birthday Jess!) and we like to celebrate together.

On the list of things to do?  Well, it is our 21st birthday so buying our first drink is in order. Nothing too crazy, we’re not wild and crazy people, just a fruity drink with dinner or something.  And then, we’re going to see the movie The Women which comes out just in time on September 12th.  Dove so kindly sent me 2 free tickets along with a gift in return for writing a review of the movie, so look for that soon over on the review blog.

If you haven’t heard much about the movie yet, it’s about the many challenges in women’s life…and most importantly about the friendship that gets women through it (i.e. a more adult version of The Sisterhood of the traveling pants, and a younger version of The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood). It has lots of talented stars in it like Meg Ryan, Debra Messing, Eva Mendes, Bette Midler and many more.  It looks hilarious from the clips I’ve seen (of course, some adult content and language is in there I’m sure) and I’m super excited. Being a Mom now, I don’t often get a chance to go to a movie in theaters and it has definitely been years since I’ve gone with a friend, so this will be a treat! I need me some girl time.

And? You too can win a chance to see it for free! Family Review Network is giving away 2 tickets and all you have to do is comment on that post. The drawing will be held on on September 11th (!) so you can see it on opening night if you wish. Dove also has a game on their website where you can win tickets.

See why I’m so excited about September? And this is only half of it! Go win you some tickets!

In our latest trip post, I forgot to show what I made for Breanna and Aaron as part of their wedding present. As some of you may know, I’m all about giving sentimental gifts (Like the book for Kaylee’s birthday). Yea, Bre and Aaron could use money to help furnish their new house or something, but I wanted a gift that was meaningful to go along with it. I wanted something that they could display or use that Bre would look at it and think, “Aw! My Leah gave me that for our wedding! What a beautiful day that was. Hey, when is the last time I talked to Leah? I should call her. But oh, what a wonderful day our wedding was. I’m so lucky to have Aaron, I love him so much…” Etc. At least that is how I envision it. ha!

I decided to make this hot plate, (ya know, for at dinner time when you don’t want to hurt your table with your bowl of steamin’ hot mashed potatoes) but it can be simply displayed as well. It was done at one of those local pottery painting places (You really should take your kids and go have fun!). I chose the pink and brown because it matched their wedding colors.

So it serves 3 purposes: 1) To be a hot plate or just look pretty. 2) Remind Bre of me. And most importantly, 3) Remind Bre and Aaron what love and marriage is all about and what it takes to keep a healthy marriage going. Love for each other, living for each day, laughing with each other, trust, and lots of praying together.

Hope you enjoy it, Bre! May it bring you the reminder you may need on those rough days, and joy on your most joyous days with Aaron. I love you!