Can we get some praise on up in here?

2012 I deemed the year of healing, and its moving right along in that direction. And its only January 26th. God is good. I love that sometimes you simply have to ask and be willing to take a step forward and He will answer.

Soul healing wise, I feel God moving and changing me already. And counseling so far? I’ve only been three times, but already God is using it to bring peace and understanding. Do you know how freeing that is? He’s not only used it to help understand decisions in my own life, but for Mark as well. He hasn’t gone with me (yet), but the things I’ve uncovered about my life are connected to his life, too. Its neat to see how God is speaking through this time and also using it to grow Mark and I closer.

Also, while this wasn’t exactly on my mind when I talked about healing before, God has answered it none-the-less. Jaxson is out growing his food allergies! He (WE! Because we are still nursing and loving it) can eat dairy now all we want.  I’ve had it in my diet for over a month now pretty consistently every day and no rashes have appeared or an upset tummy. Then, one day I experimented with him eating some yogurt in a smoothie. Nothing. Then yogurt straight out of the container. Nothing. Its been over 3 weeks now and I’m pretty sure his body has decided dairy isn’t all that bad. I still haven’t tried milk as a drink or given him cheese directly, but we’ll get there. Soy also doesn’t seem to bother him all of sudden either (which is great since its in everything, it seems). I haven’t tried nuts yet or eggs (although I still eat eggs baked in things occasionally, like a cookie last night, and there was no reaction). I know its common for food allergies to be out grown around 1 year old and I’m praising God we seem to be following in that pattern. It was just about 1 year ago his rashes started popping up out of no where, and I’m grateful that this year we conquered them and his cheeks are silky smooth as they should be!

So, mommas that have dealt with allergies while nursing or food allergies in general…have hope. Sure, allergies won’t always disappear but have hope that you can at least get them under control with a little change :-)

Any praise reports in your life? Big, small. Its all God loving on you. Soak it in.

I myself do not have allergies that I know of, but for the sake of Jaxson and his apparent reactions to certain foods I eat transmitted through my milk, I chose to change my diet. It’s been 5 months now since his rashes started appearing and  the frustrations of “What the heck is causing this?!” consumed my mommy life. It’s been quite an adventure and change for us, taking into consideration many people’s opinions from doctors to other mom’s, spending lots of wasted money on ointments, and experimenting with supplemental foods. Back in March at the doctor we pinned down the allergens to be eggs, nuts, dairy, and since then I’ve added soy to the list.

How’s it going, you ask? Well for many months I tried to avoid those foods for his sake, but often failed because of my sweet tooth. Like, when my husband would bring home doughnuts (shame on him to bring home temptation!) or I’d be at a birthday party and sneak a bit of cake. Or, not picking a decent restaurant to avoid cross-contamination, like those cook-in-front-of-you Japanese steak houses where everything is cooked with butter and right next to the eggs for fried rice! So yes, my sweet tooth and eating out has been my biggest challenge. I was getting so frustrated that even though I was “being good” most of the time, he still would have red flared up cheeks that would come and go in intensity.  Get better, get worse, get better, get worse. I would have hope that we finally had it manageable and then I’d sneak another bite of something and make it worse again. Oh, the guilt!

Several times I’ve woken up to Jaxson with blood covered sheets and bright red cheeks, but one day I had had enough. Frustrated with how I had been handling things, I turned to the idea of finding a formula that maybe he would thrive on instead of literally tearing his skin off. Good news? They do make a soy and dairy free formula! Bad news? It costs at least $30 a can, making it over $100 per month. Oy. I like that breastfeeding is free. And plus, the more I thought about it, the more I mourned the idea of losing that special bond between Jaxson and I. I’ve written before how he adores that time, both for hunger and for comfort and quite honestly, I’m not ready to give that up if I don’t need to. Still, that night I nursed him and while doing so I prayed about what God would have me do. I kid you not, the next day his face was at least 50% clearer, when just the day before he had clawed his face over and over.  To me, it was a sign from God to keep trying. So I strapped on my big girl momma boots and determined to try harder.

And, I prayed a lot.

I prayed that God would take away the cravings of the foods that caused him to flare. I prayed that he would purify my milk and the allergens would leave his body. I prayed he wouldn’t itch and scratch. And, I gave thanks that his allergy reactions are just a rash and not anything life threatening like breathing problems (Seriously. Thank you, God!).

I tell you, prayers work! Soon after that my stepmom remembered what she used to do for my little brother when he had eczema (not food related, but same itchy skin situation). We realized that Savannah would eat a PB&J or eat cereal with milk and then kiss all over her baby brother, which easily could pass allergens along. So, I followed her advice of washing his cheeks and hands more often to wipe off any allergens that were lingering on the skin. That made a huge difference! And then, I bought yet another ointment to put on his rash. I’ve tried everything it seems like, natural or not, from Emu oil to paraban laden creams recommended by the dermatologist. Although I would like to find a natural solution, but this Eczema cream with Cortizone has made the most drastic difference.

Of course, I haven’t taken a current picture of him lately except on my cell phone (shame, shame). But, let’s just say he looks kind of like this where the rashes were edited out by an awesome photographer back in May when he was about 6.5 months old:

Minus the frowny face and the froggy hat.

Sure, we have our flare ups every now and then. But, as I stick to my diet for his sake (and improving my own health along the way!) they usually are very small and manageable compared to what the past months have looked like.

Praise God for clear cheeks!

Have you noticed, I haven’t posted any pictures of Jaxson since oh…January maybe?  I have a confession: I’m embarrassed. I haven’t even taken many of his 3rd and 4th month :-/

See, it started when he turned 3 months old, he got one red spot on his little chubby cheek. No big deal, I thought it was just chapped cheeks from the extreme cold weather we were having at the time.  As the weeks went by it went from the size of a dime to the size of a quarter and then spread to his left cheek.  They both grew, started to ooze and scab. They itched him and I’d wake up to his crib looking like a crime scene since he kept digging at them throughout the night. It got bad, really bad. I tried various lotions and advice from fellow mommies. It began spreading to creases in his arms and legs. I eventually took him to a doctor that thought it was a yeast rash, but that medicine did nothing.  It just kept oozing and scabbing. I took him for a second opinion and he said, “Those aren’t yeast, that’s eczema that’s gotten  infected.” And thankfully, antibiotics got it under control to where it at least wasn’t oozing. But, the redness is still there since the cause of the eczema is still unknown.

We’re now playing the guessing game called, “What is Jaxson Allergic to?!” Let me tell you, I hate this game. He has only had my milk so whatever is bothering him is in my diet most likely (I suppose it could be something environmental). I’ve taken out dairy for starters since I noticed a flare up after having a glass of milk. I’ve taken out gluten. Now I’m wondering if it’s a nut allergy since when I drink my milk I mix it with chocolate Almond milk. And since taking out dairy and gluten I have heavily increased my nut intake to substitute and he’s still getting flare ups. We’ll see if this is the winning answer.  We are seeing an Allergist this Tuesday (on the day he turns 5 months old…*sob* Where is the time going?! Slow down time!) and while I know tests can be inconclusive at this age I’m really trying to be hopeful they can give us some answers.

I just want his cute little cheeks back!  I know it’s silly of me to be embarrassed by them, but I know people look when we are out in public and they ask questions.  I think it goes back to that fear of judgement that I have, like because he has these rashes I’m not doing something right or enough to take care of him. But, I know that’s not really true. Food allergies are common and I know I’m doing a lot to make it better, from appointments to drastic changes to my diet.  I gotta learn how to let these judgement issues go, eh? I can only do the best I can do!

Can I tell you though, he has grown so much since you saw him last (even you, my personal Facebook friends). He rolls and scoots all over the place. He’s lost all his dark hair (well, except one little V in the back) and he’s growing in some cute blondish-brown fuzz (feels like a tennis ball, I love rubbing his head!). He has my eyes, but also looks a lot like Savannah as a baby. He is a  super happy, smiley baby still. Everyone comments on what a great baby he is. He has started to really giggle and laugh when we play games, it’s great :-) Savannah is still my big helper and loves to be with Jaxson. His sleep is still wonky some nights but over all much better than it was. Maybe one day soon I’ll be brave and post his cloth diapered bottom-red cheek-blue-eyed cuteness.

Do you have any food allergy or eczema advice?