The Pregnant Woman’s Rights

1) Every woman has the right to health care before, during, and after pregnancy.

2) The right to receive care that is consistent with current scientific evidence about benefits and risks. If the practice is harmful or ineffective then it should be avoided.

3) The right to chose a midwife or doctor as her care provider.

4) The right to chose her birth setting from her safe options available.

5) The right to leave her maternity care giver if she becomes dissatisfied.

6) The right to know the qualifications of those involved in her care as well as to know when those involved are trainees.

7) The right to receive care in privacy and to have all information treated according to the standards of confidentiality.

8) The right to full and clear information about risks, benefits, and costs of any and all procedures (drugs, tests, and treatments)

9) The right to accept or refuse any treatment, drugs, or tests. She also has the right to change her mind at any time. (This one is usually only true as long as the mother or baby is not in a life or death situation.)

10) The right to be informed if she or her infant is enrolled in a research stuffy and the right to accept or deny participating.

11) The right to access any and all of her pregnancy, labor, birth, postpartum, and infant records.

12) The right to receive care that is appropriate for her culture and religious beliefs, as well as to receive information in a language she can understand.

13) The right to have any family members and friends she chooses to be present in any of her maternity care.

14) The right for advance information on risks and benefits of any and all available methods of pain relief. She has the right to refuse or accept any and change her mind at any time.

15) The right of freedom of movement during labor and the right to deliver in any position she desires.

16) The right to uninterrupted time with her newborn, so long as both she and the baby are healthy and do not need to be separated for care.

17) The right to have information on breastfeeding, to refuse any supplements or actions that could interfere with breastfeeding, as well as have access to lactation support.

18) The right to decided with the caregiver when she and the baby can go home.

I saw this on a fellow November Mommy’s blog and had to re-post it. With Kaylee I was 16 and had a great, easy pregnancy and birth. I was induced on my due date and had an epidural, pushed for an hour and the entire thing was over in about 12 hours. I assumed Savannah’s would be the same, and to an extent it was. I was induced the day after my due date, had an epidural and delivered within 12 hours again. However, with Savannah it felt different. I was only 3 years older, just 19, but I wasn’t satisfied this time with the birth. This time, I was this little girl’s mom. Not just a woman who gave her life, but her Mom. I had the choice to breastfeed her this time and start to fill that parenting role. But, I wasn’t allowed to breastfeed her right away, I didn’t get to until midnight 3 hours after her birth! This time the epidural  left my back bruised and aching for weeks, a pain far worse than where it should have been hurting. Reflecting on it over the past 3 years I realized that I wanted a birth that I was an active part in, not just laying in bed waiting for things to happen. I want it to be an empowering experience, knowing that I made it through the pain with hard work, preparation, and support.

So, I’m doing things differently this time. I’ve been seeing an obgyn until now in the pregnancy as we made sure this little guy would “stick.” I needed the ultrasounds to help calm my fears and tests to be done to help me relax. Now that I’m 14 weeks, I’m breathing a lot easier and ready to quit being just a number on a doctor’s chart. I’m tired of waiting 45 minutes to be seen for only 5 minutes, only to hear the heartbeat and then she leaves. I went to my first midwife appointment last week and we talked for an hour about my history, diet, everything. My obgyn doesn’t have time for that kind of caring, but I’m glad I’ve found some one that does!

And here’s a shocker for some people: I’m not giving birth at a hospital. No, it’s not my house, but it’s a birthing center 5 minutes away. My exams are on a twin bed with sheets rather than a stiff paper covered exam table. I’m going to labor and maybe even give birth in water. I’m not going to be induced with medicine or have an epidural. I’m going to use hypnobirthing to manage the pain. I’m going to hold my baby until I’m ready to let him go to be weighed. I’m going to breastfeed right away if he wants. I’m going to have as many people in the room as I want. I’m going home just hours after birth instead of waiting around for 2 days. I’m going to sleep in my own bed and not have nurses prodding my belly all night. I’m simply doing things much like women have successfully done for centuries and what they still do in other countries. It feels empowering already.

I’m not saying this way is the best way, everyone has their own vision of birth and what they are comfortable with. But after 2 births, I know that I personally felt something missing from the experience and this is the right choice for us this time around. I have actually been scared to tell certain people (like family) that I’m doing things differently, because using a doctor and hospital is simply standard these days and midwives are thought of as not safe (which isn’t true, do the research. It’s actually safer with way less infant mortality and c-section rates!). It’s definitely a choice that goes against the grain of society, but I’m going to take advantage of my pregnant woman’s rights and do what I feel is right for us.

If you’ve been following the Ralph Lauren Boycott on here and want to help with this cause, I strongly encourage you to join the Facebook Group: Boycott Ralph Lauren.  Their goal is to reach 100,000 members/fans by Friday to prove  to RL that there is support for this cause in huge numbers.  As Darryl says,

“This boycott isn’t about Ralph Lauren per se’, (even though his recent ads are the worse I’ve seen) it’s about the entire industry. If Ralph Lauren buckles from all of the publicity and grassroots support that we mount, we’ll send a message to the entire industry that we’ve had enough.”

If you’ve ever looked at a magazine, a TV commercial, an internet ad, anything in the media that has made you doubt your own beauty, you need to sign up for this. We need change in America, we need images that reflect real women. This isn’t about RL products, it’s about the images they chose to impose on women to feel bad about themselves. If you’ve ever had issues with body image, please sign up. Let’s take them down. Let’s make a new face for women in society, one that shows real beauty, not a stick figure. I also suggest that you sign up for the newsletters that Darryl Roberts sends out (which is some of the information that I’ve been posting here) for the full behind the scenes details and what we can do as a collective group for change. Simply email boycottralph@americathebeautifuldoc.com to be added to the list. The most recent newsletter came out today, it’s very lengthy so I won’t post it all but it has some important information in it.

If you want to read even more about this movement, you can read about it in The Huffington Post (which has spread to other news resources as well!).

Now, go show your support on FB!

As you know, I was supposed to appear on CNN News today with Dr. Maria Rago of ANAD and former supermodel Emme at 4pm Eastern Time to announce the nationwide boycott of Ralph Lauren that thousands of you signed up for.

Well, The Ralph Lauren Company orchestrated a very savvy move and the segment was just cancelled. 30 minutes ago.  2 hours before we were to go live.

Tomorrow morning I will send out a newsletter with the full details letting you know what happened. Every single gory detail!

The boycott will continue, but even stronger now.

I’ve started the America the Beautiful Action Network which will fight any ad or condition that harms the healthy self-esteem or overall emotional and mental well being of young women and girls.

When I sent out the newsletter yesterday announcing the CNN appearance, hundreds of teenage girls emailed me, saying they would watch the segment knowing their voice would finally be heard by many.

You should be proud of yourselves because your voice was heard. Imagine the top executives at Ralph Lauren scurrying to keep me off of CNN. They won that battle but together we will win the war.

I fully understand now that these companies aren’t going to change their ways unless you make them with how you spend your money.

What upsets me the most is that so many young girls are suffering from these images and all Ralph Lauren seems to care about is not being boycotted (i.e. losing revenue).

I’m speaking with organizers to mount boycotts outside of his stores in NY, Chicago and maybe San Francisco.

I’ll need your support more than ever now. We’re on their radar now and if we buckle, they’ll never stop with their draconian advertising.

To every woman and young girl reading this. I promise to keep fighting for you. And the fight will continue tomorrow!

Forever with you,

Darryl Roberts

Whew! This has been a difficult week dealing with the boycott, but I think we’re all making some headway.

This is where we are now – The Ralph Lauren Company didn’t respond to my open letter (even though most of the high ranking executives at the company read it), so I called for a national boycott on behalf of all of the hundreds of thousands of women that were offended by his recent photoshopped ads. (See below).

I contacted CNN and told them that I was organizing a boycott of Ralph Lauren products on behalf of every woman in America that felt his ads were egregious and harmful to women and especially young girls.

CNN contacted The Ralph Lauren Company to get their side of the story and what do you know, they returned CNN’s phone call. I can’t wait for you to hear the statement that they gave!

Not surprisingly, an executive at The Ralph Lauren Company has been spending the last 2 days trying to keep me off of CNN. It would have worked, but the grass roots campaign that all of you have mounted by spreading my letter around was way too awesome. (I’ll explain exactly what happened in my newsletter early next week).

So tomorrow tune into CNN at 4pm Eastern Time:

4pm Eastern which is 3pm Central, 2pm Mountain and 1pm Pacific time.

Someone told me that Ralph Lauren is personally thinking about coming on to debate the issue with me. I will give him a lot of credit if he does it.

I want all of you to tune in tomorrow because this entire boycott is for you. Tomorrow will let every woman and young girl that signed the boycott letter know that you do have a voice. And tomorrow your voice will be heard.

I’d like to thank ANAD, IAEDP, the YWCA of America, Monte Nido, the thousands of health professionals, the universities and the tens of thousands of you that support me. Together we will make a difference.

Barring any last minute strategies by the RL Company, see you tomorrow on CNN.

Forever with you,

Darryl Roberts

Forewarning: this is a long post but worth it!

I saw this documentary, America the Beautiful, this past spring and it was amazingly eye opening (It’s now on Netflicks.com to watch instantly!). The creator, Darryl Roberts was actually there for the viewing and it was refreshing to see a man so passionate about women’s issues, especially mentally what women go through, and in turn battling huge issues in the media that only fuel the flame in women’s worlds.

His latest work has been taking action against big names in the media that are obviously displaying negative images of women in very unhealthy ways. Ralph Lauren has been under scrutiny lately because of his choice of adds and WAY over editing them to make a normal beautiful model appear drastically thin as if to encourage anorexia and one looks almost like a bobble head. How is that attractive, anyway? Why is having some curves and meat such a bad thing now?

Darryl has written two letters to RL and I wanted to spread the word. One can be found here. The other is below along with examples of the ads. If you also believe in this cause about fighting for a change in how media is portraying women in unhealthy ways, please email boycottralph@americathebeautifuldoc.com and let Darryl know so his numbers are up to date! We need change, not just for us adult women, but for our girls who are growing up with this image of beauty thrown at them as well. Look at the ads below, is that what you want your daughter to look like? I didn’t think so.

Hello Mr. Lauren,

Let me preface this entire letter by saying that I’m truly sorry that we have to meet under these terms and conditions. I would rather have met you at the Four Seasons Hotel and had a juice and pretzels with you, because I’m sure you’re a really interesting guy. And I assure you, I’m a really nice guy as well.

Fortunately for me, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting tens of thousands of young girls while promoting my documentary “America the Beautiful.” To look in the eyes of over 100,000 college women and hear their pain (body image, self-esteem) has been an experience that I will never forget. I’ve also heard from over 80,000 parents that are in pain because they have to hear from their sons and daughters in pain. It does truly become a generational cycle.

I’m sure that you’re fully aware that a lot of the American population feels that the unhealthy ads in magazines are damaging to women. The damage comes in various forms; body image problems, low self-esteem and for some of the women, they get a full blown eating disorder like your niece Jenny.

I had a professional in the eating disorders world tell me last night that images like yours don’t cause eating disorders in every girl that sees it – What happens is girls that end up with an eating disorder had a 50-80% predisposition for getting an eating disorder in the first place and the negative magazine fashion ads and other factors are the gun that pulls the trigger. For the millions of other girls that don’t get an eating disorder, they’re left feeling fat, ugly and worthless.

Ralph, there is no turning back for me. When I met these women traveling from city to city and country to country, I looked them in the eye and promised them that I would do whatever I could to make the world a better place for them.

In my last letter to you, I mentioned that I would never buy anything with the RL (Ralph Lauren) label on it. Well, over 100,000 people emailed me and said they were joining me. They said they wouldn’t buy anything with the RL label on it as well until you promised to stop the very harmful kind of marketing and advertising for which you’ve been accused. Some of their emails are below.

In case you’re wondering “what harmful marketing and advertising?” – I have exhibits A, B and C of your advertising below.

Most of the emails that I’ve received are from adults. They’re fed up with it Ralph.

Believe it or not, they get hurt as much as the young girls that read the magazines and look at the ads. “How? You wonder.”  When a young girl reads these ridiculous fashion magazines and gets triggered into a full blown eating disorder, who do you think gets left holding the bag for the $30,000 a month treatment?  I’ve met parents that have had their entire savings wiped out and some have taken out second mortgages on their homes to pay for the treatment of their young daughters. Trust me Mr. Lauren, they’re sick of it.

To be clear, this isn’t just an issue of eating disorders. In my film, “America the Beautiful,” I interviewed a 7 year old girl and a 12 year old girl, both of whom insisted that they were ugly. They couldn’t tell me specifically why they were ugly. They could only reference celebrities and ads of models as references of how they’re supposed to look. And you know what was funny about the whole thing, neither one of them were ugly. They were quite attractive girls actually. Their self-esteems have been assaulted by —- I’m sure you get the picture by now.

Mr. Lauren, women live in a very toxic culture. Men as well now that I think about it.

For the record, I’m letting you know that exactly 112,489 of us will no longer buy anything that you’re associated with until you give us a commitment that you will no longer use droconian advertising like the ads below. We don’t want any money from you, nor do we want any free clothes. We just want young girls that read fashion magazines to be safe.

Also for the record, ANAD, the largest eating disorders awareness organization in the US is supporting me with my boycott. You can read about them at www.anad.org

I’ll be in Washington, DC tomorrow meeting with the CEO of the YWCA to get them to support me with my boycott as well.

There are YWCA locations in 122 countries around the world, 300 locations in the US working in 9 regions – 25 million women strong. You can read about them at www.ywca.org

I’m going to talk to the press, arrange demonstrations, basically anything I can do to help women that suffer from these ludicrous ads.

I plan on having  over 1 million people that agree with my position to not purchase any RL products as well until you agree to advertise to women in a way that respects and values them.

For clarity sake, this boycott isn’t just about your company. It’s about the entire fashion / beauty industry that advertises in a way that’s harmful for women. We’re hoping they will see that people are fed up and change their advertising practices as well. We picked you because you went waaaaay over the top with the 3 ads below.

If and when you send a formal announcement agreeing to stop with your draconian advertising, the boycott will be over and I’m sure some parents will forgive you and start buying your bedding products again.

Remember we’re doing this for the safety of young girls Mr. Lauren, including your niece Jenny.

So, what’s it going to be Ralph? It’s your conscience. Your decision.  We await your answer. Until then, I’m off to do my Christmas shopping with your competitors.

Respectfully yours,

Darryl Roberts

REASON #1 FOR THE BOYCOTT - REASON #2 FOR THE BOYCOTT - AND REASON #3 FOR THE BOYCOTT -