Well, it’s official:

Once again I say, glory be to God because I don’t know how I did it. Two semesters in a row. And, that I haven’t made straight A’s since elementary school so it’s not like this a common thing and that I pour myself into my studies constantly. Quite the opposite, actually, and yet some how God has used my brain as a sponge and soaked up the knowledge I needed.

I’ll also say again, it feels really good. Thank You, Lord.

My whole weekend was the best Mother’s Day weekend yet. It started out with the bonding time with Birth Mom Buds (and my Mom!) and then I came home to a super clean room (thanks to my husband!) and these beauties:

I had fun snapping pictures of them and came up with a beautiful natural light photo and then enhanced their beauty even more in photo shop. I think I’ll frame it. I haven’t received tulips before and I’ve fallen in love with them! On Sunday I woke up to a cheerful little girl who enjoyed snuggling with me. She was clingy and lovey all day, she must have known it was Mother’s Day. And of course, I’m left in awe at how fast she is growing. Look how long her hair is getting! We went to church where we watched a picture slide slow of all the Mother’s and children within our church. I proudly/bravely included not just me and Savannah, but me with Kaylee as well. Not many people know that I am a birth mother there (or many people in person, really), not because I’m ashamed but simply because where during a conversation does, “Hey! I’m a birthmom!” fit in, ya know? In a way, I hope people ask, “Who was that other girl in the picture?” so that I can gladly share my story. Anyway, that was my way of sending more love to Kaylee from a distance, that I love her and always thinking of her and that she’ll always be my first daughter who made me a mom.

The four of us, my Mom included, went to eat at the best hamburger and fries place we’ve ever eaten at. Five Guys, anyone? Then it was time to say goodbye to mi madre, but Mark and I had fun heading to the craft store for a project we’re working on. What project, you ask? Well, my sweet and thoughtful husband had the great idea to make me/us a scrapbook of our story for our 1st wedding anniversary that is coming up in one week (can you believe it?!). He originally was going to do it all him self, but the task got overwhelming and time was running out, so he told me about the surprise. Which, honestly, I’m glad he did because 1) How sweet is it to work on a project about love with your love? 2) Scrap booking is just fun.

And, for the cherry on top of my weekend? I’ve made straight A’s again (well, still waiting on one grade but it’s English and I’m positive it’s an A). A whole year of college, 9 classes in a row…I’ve made straight A’s. This little momma with a 15 month old, stress galore, little sleep and laundry mountains to climb has kept a 4.0 gpa. That feels pretty good, ya know? And all I can say is, glory be to God because I don’t know how I did it.

I hope your Mother’s Day weekend was as great and blessings filled as mine!

This is just a quick note to say 1) I’m still alive 2) I’m super-de-duper busy between final exams/papers/projects, Savannah Banana (who is finally feeling better from her ear infections) and visiting friends one last time before they go to Africa for the summer 3)  Yes, I said uber up there in the title. Cause it speaks at how busy I am. And cause I’m cool like that. Maybe.

On top of the stress, there is more stress as my car and lap top are falling apart on me and therefore are now eating into our budget like cookie-monster gobbles up his cookies. Now is really not a good time to fall apart, ok technology? I think I have a cursed touch or something. Or, they’re just getting too old. Either one.

Any way. Hi and Bye. I’ll be back after Thursday with the world’s weight off my shoulders (well, almost cause I won’t have a new car or laptop). Man, that’ll feel good.

Ever since I did my speech on Saturday, besides the confidence boost, I’ve also had a heavy heart. Coincidently Mrs. R has had the same thoughts going on and her post spoke of it well.

She put up a great article by Adoption Option, Old Think vs. New Think, for questions expectant moms may have regarding adoption:

If I find myself unexpectedly pregnant, abortion and single parenting are my only choices.

There is a third choice, one that has proven to be a success for birth mothers and children–the adoption option.

I would never consider adoption–it would be too hard.

Which ever choice you make will present many hardships–adoption may be no more difficult than abortion or single parenting.

My friends and family will think I’m terrible giving up my own flesh and blood.

Adoption is not “giving up,” it is giving to–a decision you have carefully made out of love for the future of your child and yourself.

I’ll never know what happened to my baby. I simply couldn’t live that way.

The old way of doing adoptions (secrecy and no control) is out. The new way–open adoption–allows you to make the decisions regarding the future of your child and yourself. (refer to Glossary of Adoption Terms and “Kristina’s Story”)

Why adoption? Isn’t it just for people who can’t have their own kids?

Not necessarily true. Yes, some people cannot biologically conceive, but adoption provides a family for a child, not a child for a family.

Kids who are adopted have lots of problems.

Not founded in fact. Refer to the Search Institute Study. Children who are adopted have, among other characteristics, high self-esteem and positive identity concerns at rates as high or higher than their peers.

(I would add that yea, some children do have issues, but I think a lot of that depends on the openess of the adoption and the family that is chosen to parent. My experience? Kaylee, as well as the other adopted kids I know, are as normal as can be.)

What about me? I feel it’s my responsibility to raise my child.

Your responsibility is to make the very best and informed decision that you can for your child. Studies show that birth mothers who make an adoption plan typically move on with their life, finish their education, have a career, and eventually marry.

My heart just breaks for young moms and their children, like the ones I mingled with this weekend, that end up feeling hopeless. And it reflects in their attitudes and their relationship with their child. I just hope and pray that some how they get back on track. I’m not saying adoption is the answer to an issue, it’s just one to better lives. It seems like many young moms decide against adoption and still don’t attempt to better their lives in any way. They end up still on the same dead path with abusive boyfriends and living in poverty. What kind of life is that? Doesn’t sound like fun to me. I wish people could see the potential in themselves to make things better in one way or another.

No path in life is easy, but some things are worth a little pain to gain more–and give more–in life.

Last night’s speech went really well. In fact, it went extremely well and I couldn’t be more proud of how well it went! Of course, I didn’t have much part in putting it all together (the group did a great job of that!), I was just there to tell my story. My speech was pretty much the Smom entry I posted previously, except I added a part about my adoption story.

The group of ladies we presented to were from a local maternity home, not the one I went to though. Many had already had their children and some were still pregnant. The ages varied, the level of educations varied. You could tell they all been through a lot and had their own stories to tell.

One woman in particular seemed really interested in what we had to say. I noticed her crying when I told of my adoption story and how that was one way I was able to continue my high school education. She came up afterward and told me that she is considering adoption and it meant a lot to her that I had shared my story. She had lots of questions about going back to school and seemed amazed at how much help and the opportunities there are. It was really encouraging to be apart of. I really, truly hope that that woman and the other ladies there found something to be encouraged by and take any opportunity they can to better their life and their child’s through education.

As some one said last night…“I truly believe the things most worth while require the most work.” Amen. Isn’t that the truth with just about anything in life?

And not to gloat any more than I have, but I’m just really proud of myself! I’m a very shy person and some how I found the voice I needed. People could hear me, I didn’t shake or act nervous. I didn’t jumble up my words. I made eye-contact, I made jokes. It was a whole 20 minutes of just me speaking. And that, is quite an amazing accomplishment for this shy girl. God was definitely there with us last night.

I’ll be praying for these ladies, I hope something powerful kicked in last night and doors were opened to better their futures.

I’m giving a speech tomorrow for pregnant or already parenting young mothers, so I thought this would be appropriate to share on here. I’m not sure I have many mom readers that are thinking/wanting/are in school, but hopefully it will inspire some one.

Ya know how mom’s often classify their selfs as titles such as, SAHM or WAHM meaning that they are “Stay At Home Moms” or “Work At Home Moms.”

Well, me? I’m a Smom, “Student Mom.” Yes, most of my life is a classified SAHM but there is another part of my life that takes a lot of focus: School. Things happened out of order in my life, but that doesn’t stop me from pursuing my dreams. I’ve always wanted to attend college and earn a degree. Actually, I’m thankful I had a year off from college when I became pregnant because it forced me to stop and think what direction my life was taking me. It made me realize my true passion and talent is not in Social Work (I wanted to work with pregnant girls and birth mothers in the adoption area. There really aren’t enough counselors specifically in that area!) but is in writing.

After becoming pregnant though, school certainly was not on my mind. I had to leave college to be closer to family, figure out what the heck we were going to do at 19 years old, unmarried, and about to have a baby. Working obviously became top priority, those diapers, clothes, hospital bills, etc. definitely cost a lot!

Once Savannah was born, I was thrilled to be a mom. Of course, it took some time to get adjusted to the no-sleep demands, poop expositions and feeling like a milked cow 24-7, but being a mom brought so much joy. I did go back to work part-time when she was 3 months old, but still, school and a career were not on my mind. I was set on the routine of baby all night and day, and occasionally work. I could have lived like that for the rest of my life, I loved being a mom!

Then one day it hit me though that I needed a back up plan. What if something happened to my husband, how would I support us? What about once our kids are in school and there are no more babies to tend to during the day, what will I do with my time? What about my own goals for life, isn’t it worth exploring those dreams beyond a family? And something really important to me: what will my daughter think if I just gave up simply because obstacles came along. I want her to be proud of me and all that I can accomplish.

And so, back to school I went. But don’t think I just packed up my book bag and abandoned my duties as a Mom. Not at all. I’ve made it a high priority to make time with my daughter first so I can be there to tuck her in at night, share giggles and sweet kisses. Thankfully, it’s worked out that I only go twice a week with a full day of classes, and I don’t have to work on top of school. Two days a week isn’t much of a time sacrifice. I finished my first semester back this past December and not only did I get through the classes…I made straight A’s!

So what can you do to help reach your educational goals and stay on top of things? I’ve learned many important lessons to help achieve success and make things a tad bit easier when life is pulling you in so many directions.

• As with anything in life, it takes organization. Not just the neat notebooks and pencil cases, but time organization. I’ve found that since there is often limited time to get tasks done (i.e. during naps only!), use it. Use every minute you have effectively, don’t procrastinate.

• Prioritize what’s needs to be done. There are many days I have to just ignore the 4 laundry baskets begging to be folded and put away because a paper or test is looming over my head. Remind yourself what’s important right now and that it’s ok to let some things slide!

• Know your learning style. Since study and school work time is so crunched, I’ve learned the most effective way to study. Me? I’m more of a visual person. When I read from a text book, I have to take notes and flash cards have become my best friend. I’ve also discovered I learn better using the computer. Those CD’s that come with text books or on line study guides and games? Awesome to me. So what if you’re more Auditory? I’ve heard of some people bringing a tape recorder to class so they can re-listen to the lecture at home. Try reading your notes out loud! If you’re more “hands on” then do just that. Obviously, this would vary from class to class, but try to apply the concept to an example or get an internship to help you get a real experience.

• Use any help you can get! I’ve been lucky to have my husband and his family to help take care of Savannah when needed. Some times a 2 hour nap isn’t enough to get a paper done or study for an exam, so they’ll help by giving me some extra time when they can. Support is crucial, if some one offers to help, take it! Also, financially there may be some great financial aid to help pay for your education. Check out FAFSA.

• Treasure time with your family. Yes, those projects, papers, and tests seem to weigh heavily once your knee deep in classes, but don’t forget your family. They still are the true number 1!

A balance can be found between the roles of college student and mom (and whatever else defines you). And you can succeed at it! I can’t promise it’s easy, it definitely has its struggles and stresses, but I have found that school has only enhanced my relationship with my daughter and husband. Those hours away each week gives us time to refuel and miss each other, making our time together even more treasured and enjoyable. And you know what? It just feels good to push myself and work toward something worth while. It feels good to know I’ll have a back up plan, that I have something else to be proud of, and that I’m setting a good example for my daughter as she grows up.

You can do it!