Notice something different around here?  A new layout!  I winter-fied it up in here, cause I’m sure the snow flakes on my header are the only ones I’ll see this winter.  My last layout wasn’t functioning correctly between the different browsers so I was ready for a change.  I’m still trying to figure out what the odd symbols are up top on the main page. Any one know?  So far technical support has been useless on the issue.

Not long before Christmas is here!  It’s insane how fast the days have gone by. I’ve been enjoying visiting family, relaxing, and finding out that my grades came out pretty great (always a good thing).  However, I did figure out that my adviser did not know what she was talking about and I will not graduate early as we thought. Bummer. Apparently there is some rule that says you have to have 120 credit hours. So, that means I will have my major and minor completed by next December as planned…but I won’t have enough random credit hours to graduate so I get to waste another semester taking random classes.  Hm.  I’m choosing to see it as a blessing in disguise because now I have time to take it more easy, have time to take cool classes like graphic design and creative writing, and I can take less classes at one time therefore allowing me to be with Savannah a little more.

Anyways, I hope you are enjoying the holidays!

Good news:

1) My MIL took care of the sick Savannah Banana all night so I got some much needed sleep.  Thank goodness for coffee and in-laws.

2) Which means, I got up at 6am today and read my Bible again. It reminded me to “put on” kindness, gentleness, patience, humility, etc. Good stuff.

3) Juice has kept my little girl hydrated these past few days as she has wanted nothing to do with food. Which, is perfect timing since we just received juice boxes for a review. Check it out.

4) I also think she’s on the mend now and feeling better. This is always good news.

5) The school semester is almost OVER!  5 classes left, to be exact :-D And then, I will offically be a senior. Praise God!

Bad news:

1) I think I’m getting what Savannah has. Or, something of that sick variety. I can’t afford to be sick right now amongst the crazy end of semester stuff.

2) My weight is the lowest it’s been in years, thanks in part to this possible sickness thing that makes me not want to eat. The other part is my super high metabolism. I need to see a nutrionist or something, I hate being this skinny.

How is your week?

P.S. There are TON of giveaways coming up soon! Keep a look out.

Today started out rough.  I woke up well before the sun even peeked it’s little sunny eye out above the horizon. I drank my pumpkin flavored coffee to help me keep my own eyes open and headed off to school early for an appointment. Only, I left late (it runs in my genes!), got stuck in traffic, and then couldn’t find the building I need and realized that I needed to be all the way on the other side of campus.  Which, therefore makes my early rising a complete waste since I couldn’t make my appointment despite my fast walking. Ugh.

The good news?  I got all my exercise in today walking around campus like a lost puppy.  And? I got to try out my new and awesome Land’s End coat (it kept me nice and toasty in the 42 degree weather. Hello fall!). I believe I did well on my math exam today.  And, with my extra time I was able to stop by an adviser to make sure I’m on tract in my courses and prepare for spring registration. And found out…

By the grace of our good God, I am some how ahead of schedule.  Some how, even though I took an entire year off from classes to have Savannah, switched schools, switched majors and minors twice, I am ahead.  How in the world?  I was behind by at least a semester, if not more, when I started back last year.  But man, God has done some heavenly work and I CAN GRADUATE IN A YEAR FROM NOW!

In fact, I’m so close to being done that by Christmas I will be considered a senior because of my credit numbers! I’ve counted and counted and counted again the classes I need and it still comes out to a beautiful number.  The catch is that I have to take 2 summer classes, but that is a-okay with me if that means I get done a full 6 months early.  I am so excited!  It will be a tough year cramming in demanding classes and not getting much of a break, but man, it will be worth it to cross that stage and the weight of the world lifted.

God is so good! I take this as a sign that my decision to change minors to Woman’s Studies was the right thing to do. I feel so at peace right now and so excited for the future! I’m ready to be DONE! I’m ready to spend my time with my precious little girl and making cute letters for people :-)

I finally got my speech together, and good thing since it’s happening tomorrow! I decided to not mention the adoption stuff yet, I’m not ready to feel that exposed and I’d rather get to know other people before I make that plunge. I decided to go off my “Smom” article and talk about my passion for writing and how family is what keeps me going reaching my dreams. I had to condense the article quite a bit to fit it under 3 minutes, but I think it will turn out well.

So here’s hoping I don’t get all tongue tied tomorrow! And thanks for all your suggestions and encouragement :-)

This semester I’m taking the dreaded Public Speaking course. But, actually, I’m not that nervous since I’ve done various speaking things this past year. I guess it’s true when they say practicing helps ease the nerves! I also seem to have a good teacher that is understanding and wants you to succeed and get over the fright.

My first speech is coming up in the next week. Thankfully, it’s an easy one since I get to talk about me for 2-3 minutes. I did that for 15 minutes back in March, surely I can do this! The thing is, she wants us to start out with introducing a clip of a song, a poem, clip from a movie, article, something to describes you and then you talk about how you relate and who you are.

My problem? What inspirational piece should I choose? What do I expose about me? A part of me wants to stand up there with a piece that relates to adoption and I say proudly, “I’m a birthmom!” But, do I dare do that? Do I go the Christian route and expose that I love the Lord? Do I simple share that I love to write, I’m a Mommy, and wife? Oh, the possibilities.

I think I may have come up with something. But oh, I feel exposed.

Can I be blunt here? Today sucked. The first day of classes sucked big rainy mud puddles.

Right from the get go, things were going wrong. I couldn’t find the parking pass, my car’s speedometer decided not to work (my 16 year old car that I JUST got fixed and now have spent close to $1,000 in the past few months for repairs just to have something break. AGAIN! Oy. We don’t have money to keep throwing away like this) so I had to rush to Mark’s car. At this point I was running late, but I could still make it on time with luck.

But oh, of course I don’t have good luck. It was raining hard, traffic was way worse than normal, meaning pretty dang horrible. Like, stopped horrible. Then, I finally make it to campus an hour later, but I’m so late there is no where to park! And I get lost trying to find a place to park. So I eventually find my way and park WAY far away and hustle through the rain with my handy zebra umbrella.

I finally get to my class 30 minutes late…and…no one was even in there. All that stress, worrying, and banging on my steering wheel screaming “GO!” for nothing. Though, I’m betting the entire campus was late today so I’m sure the teacher just left when no one showed up.

It just wasn’t a great start to my day, and the grumpiness stuck with me. I came home completely exhausted and with a headache, to make things worse. And, as I sat through my 4 classes (I would have 5 if my first wasn’t canceled), I felt this huge dread over me. I’m really, really not looking forward to this school year. I feel like I’m re-doing high school over again, just about every one of my classes I’ve already taken before.

1800 century English? Check. Spanish 2? Check. Algebra? Check.

Next semester will be the same way as well, re-doing what I’ve already done. I really, really hate this right now. The thing that is pulling me through is thinking about how I would regret it if I quit and how dang close I am to graduating. Half way there. I can do this. But man, I’m praying like crazy God will keep giving me the strength and courage to keep going.

The good news is that I know a few people in my classes, I picked really awesome teachers (except my Spanish guy. B-o-r-i-n-g, but it should be easy), and since I have had most of these topics it’s nothing “new” to me so it should be easy. And, when I get home we had steak and potatoes for dinner, which was especially yummy after not getting any lunch.

And now? I’m off to do absolutely nothing. My brain is tired.

And so, the arrival of these books marks the arrival of the first day of classes tomorrow.

And that’s only half of them.

Do you see that HUGE book? It’s seriously 3 inches thick. I’m praying that my English Teacher will have mercy and not make us carry that for every class. Holy moly. Or, better yet, that all my teachers have mercy. I’m sure all these books (plus the others) combined weigh more than I do, my little back cannot carry it all.

(And don’t even suggest a rolling book bag!)

I’m off to pack my (non-rolling) book bag.

We’re home from our week family excurstion. We’re finally, finally home. I can’t wait to sleep in my (our) big comfy bed. I missed it. Savannah apparently missed her bed, too, since she went down at 7pm versus 8pm. My poor tired, whiny bug.

Coming up this week:

1) I promise to update about our fun day at the beach.

2) Daddy O starts school tomorrow, I start school Tuesday.

And so, the school routine begins again. *sigh* The good news though is that by the grace of God and random luck, I was able to enroll into a woman’s studies course at the EXACT time I needed it! Meaning I didn’t have to switch my entire schedule around. This to me, is a sign that this is in fact the direction God wants to me to in. I prayed that if it was His will, He would allow a way. And He did. I’m also pretty excited about the class, so that’s a bonus, since all my other classes won’t be so interesting (math? Spanish? 1800 century English authors? Public Speaking? Gag).

So any way, I hope everyone had a great weekend and I’m sending my wishes for a wonderful week your way.

I’m beginning to wonder if my change of interest and minors from Journalism to Woman’s Studies is more than just that…a change of interest. I’m beginning to feel dreams take root in my heart. Yes, writing is one of them still. But, more than that. Helping other young teenager girls like I once was…pregnant, scared, and stubborn. Maybe even reaching out before that happens, before sexual activity at such a young age, before something so valuable is lost, before they even begin looking for love and acceptance in the wrong places. I could be some one to encourage them that confidence in their self and knowing their self worth, and beyond that how precious they are in God’s eyes, is far worth anything that compromises giving up something so valuable.

Actually, to be honest, this isn’t a “new” dream. Since my pregnancy and birth of Kaylee I’ve wanted to reach out to other young women. When I first started college I wanted to be a social worker, like the social worker I had throughout my pregnancy and post-placement. She was, and is, amazing. I loved the idea of helping other girls through something that I had already been through. I could be the counselor that had been there in their shoes and understood like no one else could. The problem was, I am shy. I can barely hold a conversation with my family members, let alone a stranger pregnant girl with raging hormones that doesn’t want to be in my office. It wasn’t what God called me to be, the job would be more than I could handle on a day to day basis.

After I made that realization, that’s when the writing passion kicked in even more and I moved to an English degree. Still, I get the urges often to do something to help others with my story and experiences. I have a feeling that God is moving me towards the Woman’s Studies area to do just that. To bind the gift of writing He’s given me with my heart to help others. I don’t know how He will use it, or when, but I feel that sense of purpose deep inside. It’s that purpose that is helping me actually feel excited about classes starting in a week (gulp). I’m even feeling the urge to volunteer some where. But where?

Again though, the issue will be hoping and praying that God will open a WS course at the right time for me to stay on track. Of course, as some one told me, God has always “had my back” with this sort of thing so if it’s His will, it will happen. I have faith in that and I’m excited to see how He will continue working in my life.

Also, I want to emphasize that this is not about me being a “man hater” *ahem, family of mine* I promise, I am not and will not be a “man hater.” I’m married to one of the best men there is and have a wonderful Dad who I could never hate. Just because some men are creeps, I realize that that doesn’t make all men creeps. Just like not all Woman’s Studies students are against men. It’s a stereotype. My goal is simply to learn more about women.

I think the Lord has finally answered my prayers and I’m getting a tiny bit more motivated and ready for classes to start back. We only have 2 weeks left of our summer break, it’s a sad thing to watch it end. But, like I said, I’m slowly getting more ready. It must mean something good if I’m ordering text books and buying pencils again, where as before I was repulsed by the sight of them!

Part of the dreading I was feeling came with the thought that I wouldn’t graduate on time. With an English degree I’m required to have a minor as well, I guess since it’s such a broad subject. I started out with a Professional and Technical Writing minor and I hated it. So then I thought it over and switched to Journalism, but I’m still dreading it, mainly because it’s not the style of writing I want to do. I look at the 18 hours of classes that I have to start from complete scratch with dread. It’s not interesting to me. And that says something: why do something I don’t want to do if I don’t have to?

The topic that keeps sticking out in my mind, being one of the best classes I have taken my entire life is Woman’s Studies. So, I’m considering about switching to that. I loved the intro class because it made me more aware of the issues of this world (not just about woman’s issues, either). Seriously, every day I would come home telling Mark about something new I learned, it was fascinating. In the long run of life, I think learning about something I’m actually interested in and that helps in every day life is more worth investing my time in. Especially since I’m parenting a daughter myself, I can better be prepared for the issues she (and I) will face. It’s not about being a “crazy feminist,” it’s just about being more aware of the world.

And the major plus? I get to graduate on time! May 2010, instead of December. I already have 2 credits that count toward the minor, which will put me exactly where I need to be. Assuming of course, that some how God provides a way for me to switch my Journalism class with a Woman’s Studies class. And then switch my minor yet again. It’s also good that I can still take electives that will improve and expand my writing, but in the areas I’m more interested in.

It’s a win/win situation! And that makes me excited to get back into the schooling game. Ready to knock out another year, one step closer to being D.O.N.E.