Like I said before, this past weekend was the first time in 2-3 years that I’ve had a sleep over visit with Kaylee’s family. As expected, it was a complete blast and a wonderful visit.  Savannah was so excited to see Kaylee, she talked about it for 2 weeks ahead of time. So, when we finally arrived to Kaylee’s graduation, I thought she would jump over the church pews to go see her.  Besides Savannah’s excitement, she did very well during the graduation ceremony and Kaylee was adorable in her little cap and gown!  And?  Who knew 4 year olds could learn every single book in the Bible by heart.  The Old Testament alone is 66 books and they spit them out like it was the ABCs! Amazing.

After graduation and dinner, Kaylee and Savannah played and played together for hours. It is so neat to see them now that they are both older and interact more.  Dress up is clearly a favorite of both girls and I helped them change a million times, especially for a trip to the “beach” where they both wore pink princess dresses and had rolling book bags and suitcases for their travels (and Savannah had an umbrella because it was apparently raining). It was adorable! I wish I had a picture.  However, you know how sleep overs go and there is little sleep involved. Who knew a 5 year old and 2 year old already know sleep over rules? After lots of frustration and some mean Mommy voice, I finally took Savannah to a dark quiet room where she immediately passed out on me around 10:30pm.  At 11pm Kaylee came in to sleep with us, and then the day started all over again at the lovely hour of 6:40am because Savannah was hungry.  I was exhausted, but watching those together two totally makes up for it.

Saturday was Kaylee’s birthday “get together,” where my Dad and family came to visit and pick up Savannah to babysit for the next two weeks. Let me tell you, it’s hard to watch your child drive away with some one else knowing you won’t see them for days! It was almost like telling Kaylee goodbye after her birth all over again. However, I have to say it was nice to just relax with Savannah gone and I was able to get some time to myself and one on one time with Kaylee and her parents.  Now that I’m home, it is VERY weird to be here in this quiet house with out her sweet voice. I’m constantly having to remind myself she isn’t here and not needing to do this or that (my brain is scheduled around hers!). It’s also so very nice to get things done! But, we sure do miss her.

Anyways, it was a great visit and I’m loving watching these two girls grow up and bond together. Kaylee even called Savannah her “Sissy” some times, I love how open our relationship is. Here are the silly girls in action, they already know how to do the silly girl photo poses as well. They grow so fast!

I’ve been meaning to write, really I have. I’m still alive. Between going back to school, Savannah, packing for our trip, and in general trying not to over do it,” the blog has taken a back seat. But, I can’t lie that this past week has been not easy.  Though I was strong in my faith and had peace before, the emotions and hormones started to crash last Sunday.  That day I also physically started to feel worse and I cry when I don’t feel good, too so it was a double whamy!  But, I had wonderful family to take care of me and a husband who held me as a cried and I have just been taking one day at a time.

Also, yesterday Kaylee turned Five!  (Totally meant to have a Kaylee devoted post…) It boogles my mind that she’s five. Five is a big number for a kid. It’s a whole hand to count with. How is she big enough for that and going off to kindergarten in just a few months? How am I old enough to have a 5 year old? I will say though, it is so neat to watch her grow up, that she can talk on the phone with me now and tell me things she likes and about her day.  Yesterday I called her for her birthday and we chatted for a minute but then she asked to talk with Savannah. So they had a short chat as well about who knows what, but they were both so excited and it was adorable. I think that’s what I most look forward to is seeing how they grow together.  Every day I tell Savannah how many days it is until we see Kaylee and she always says, “YIPPEE!!!”

Her Mom told me that Kaylee wanted to wait to go to Build-a-Bear to go with “Miss Leah” instead of on her birthday.  Melt my heart. I like that’s she old enough to choose to want to be with me and love me/us :-)

Alright, time to pack up for our visit!

It’s June 1st.

Kaylee turns FIVE in 11 days.

How is that possible?  This is about the time things get harder for me emotionally as I remember and relive my last days being pregnant with her, her birth, and moving on.  So far I’m ok, probably because life keeps me now and, well, it gets easier each year.

But I can tell you this: I am super excited about our up coming visit. It seems the past 2 years we have narrowed our visits down to 2-3 (Christmas and Birthdays), simply because we are all so busy as our children get older. So, that means I haven’t seen Kaylee is 6 months.  And, it’s also been well before Savannah was born since we’ve had a sleep over visit. Kaylee’s first 2 years I would stay weekends or several days with them, some times even babysitting while they went to work.  It was awesome to be included in their house hold, get to take care of Kaylee and her brother, but also getting to know her parents more with late night chats after the kids were in bed.  I’ve missed them since it stopped happening about 3 years ago due to them moving away, Savannah being born, me growing up and getting married, etc.  We’ve been having short 2 hour visits the past 3 years filled with lots of other family and so I’ve also missed that one on one time we used to have.  Finally, I asked for what I wanted now that summer has let life wind down a little bit and we’ll get that time together near her birthday!

And what’s even cooler? Savannah is coming with me. So Kaylee, her brother, and Savannah will have lots of time to bond and play.  We talk about Kaylee all the time in our home so Savannah is looking forward to this almost as much as I am.

But still. How in the world is possible that Kaylee will be five? Time sure doesn’t stop.

Well, she’s officially 2 years old as of 9:22 pm.

I wrote the other day how it wasn’t really affecting me emotionally, but putting her to bed tonight started the reminiscing and in general just missing her tiny little newborn body.  She was exhausted tonight after a long day playing in her new tents and tunnels with Daddy (great present, Grandma E!) and she easily fell asleep in my arms as I stroked her soft hair.  It took me back to the first time I saw her, 2 years ago.  The first time I fed her.  Our first days home.  It’s all a big blur now, like a sideshow flashing by, but some times the memories stop on one slide and I can remember.  As she fell asleep I prayed for her to know how much we love her, as does God. I thanked the Lord will all my full little heart for what sweet, sweet girl she is and how much joy she brings in our lives.  I looked at her and thought that even though motherhood is tough, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.  It’s those sweet silent moments that make it all so worth it.

Anyway, the party yesterday as a blast.  Kaylee sadly could not make it this year as she is sick, like really sick and has been throwing up for a week (no thank you!).  So, her Mom said when they all get better we’ll have a visit soon. Victoria was also supposed to come visit me for a few days but it didn’t work out this time. Hopefully next month though!  Otherwise, it was a packed house and the party was a great.    And, even though I’ve cut out sugar…I sure enjoyed eat some of that cake!

P.S. Please note the second picture from the top of the right column. That is Savannah angry and screaming that we took the cake away when she snuck it before bedtime. HA!

Do you see the date, folks?  It’s February 20th, 2009.  How, oh how, did this weekend approach so fast?!  Savannah’s birthday is still 2 days away but we’re celebrating tomorrow since it’s easier for people to travel on a Saturday.

Last year before her 1st birthday I found myself remembering every minute up to the time she was born.  Honestly, I was sad that my baby was growing up and I wanted time to slow down.  I think I had to grieve letting go of the baby days.  I guess time changes things as our children grow (though this post does make me a little weepy still!). This year I am nothing but excited for another birthday reached, another year full of wonder and growth (and hard times, too). This year, she already feels like she is two so it doesn’t feel like a “big deal” to me.  Sure, as the day creeps closer I’m finding myself remember more and miss those sweet pregnancy and newborn moments, but not to the extent of last year.  Maybe part of it is because I can hardly remember her being a newborn anymore, perhaps that makes it easier.

I am just amazed at how wonderful Savannah is, what a blessing and joy she is for our family. Thank you, Lord.

That said, tomorrow will be full of family, friends, princesses, and lots of pink and purple! Savannah is already excited and has been singing herself Happy Birthday all day.  Gosh, I love her.  Pictures are sure to follow later this weekend.

And, though I’ve been cutting out sugar lately…I’m pretty darn excited to cut into this cake!

How often as parents do we find that simple toys are often better?   Our house stuffed with Savannah’s toys, every room has been taken over  it seems.  There are so many toys that get pushed aside and rarely played with, and often they are ones that are flashy and singy (who would have thought?).  Sometimes, simple items are better and they seem to stand the test of time of any kid in any generation.  Like, doll babies and play kitchens, even good ol’ couch cushions, baby food containers, paper towel rolls, boxes, or packages. And any kid’s favorite: Blocks. The common theme of the items? Encourages imagination! I think that’s just what kids want, and need.

Savannah asks daily to build something so she can knock it down, it’s her favorite right now.  I just found Cardboardblocks.com and it reminded me of how awesome these time-tested blocks are as we consider birthday gifts for the girl (see! A whole list of why they’re awesome) .  Do you remember these big blocks from when you were little? I sure do!  Building houses and things, knocking them down. I used to play with them in elementary school, so if they can be the hit of class and stand up to tons of kids pounding on them, they can stand up to one toddler.  I’ve raved about Melissa and Doug products before, so I’m thinking about the Jumbo Castle set because Savannah is obsessed with building houses right now. She would love this (as would her kid-at-heart daddy).

And? If I had known about this birthday party idea of letting kids play, build, and crash to keep them entertained I totally would have bought some sooner (since her party is in 2 days, ah!).  Oh well, maybe next year when we have more kids at our party anyway.

Did you have these when you were little, or do your kids now?  What do you think of them, is it worth the price? I’m thinking yes.

Ah…the last day of freedom. It’s over. Mark and I start school back tomorrow, sadly.  But I guess gladly as well, since it means it’s the start of Mark’s last semester (hurrah!) and it’s another semester to get behind me as well. Mainly though, I’m totally not looking forward to it. At least I have one cool class, a women’s studies film class. 3 hours each week to watch movies and get credit for it? Fine by me! Otherwise this semester is destined to be even harder than last. I guess that’s what college is supposed to do, huh.

Ugh. End school rant.

Savannah right now though? Is a complete joy. Getting back into our routine at home has made her into a brand new child again!  And every moment I am in awe at how much she is learning and growing. She recognizes colors, counts up to 14, knows tons of animals, uses her imagine, sings along to songs (Hakuna Matata, Winnie the Pooh, and songs from Enchanted are her top favs at the moment).  I adore her. And I can’t believe that she will be TWO in one month and eleven days.  She already seems like a 2 year old to me, so I don’t feel the dreaded birthday doom as I did last year.  Or like every year I experience around Kaylee’s birthday.  Maybe it’s just not close enough yet. But right now? I’m excited to celebrate her birthday–Princess style! (Cause she’s obsessed with every thing Princess right now.)

I should really get to bed to be rested for our renewed routine of waking up super early to get to school.  One more year and 5 months left. I can do this.

P.S.  New review over at the Review blog: Cozi Into the New Year.

I just don’t feel like writing much right now.  I’m feeling a mix of things that I don’t really know why or what to do with it, so forgive me if I’m quiet while I figure it out. Or maybe I’ll just wake up tomorrow and be inspired again.

My birthday weekend turned out “eh.”  I did enjoy good company and soaked up the beautiful God made scenery, but it just left me feeling “eh” and ready to come home.  It wasn’t what I expected my fun, big 2-1 birthday celebration to be like. And I have still yet to drink my first official drink, which is fine by me. Oh well, that’s what some times having expectations does in life–lets you down.

I’m looking forward to my next visit up to the mountains in a few weeks in which I have little expectations but to hide away deep in the woods in our cabin with the great family of mine. Maybe I’ll read a book. Or go outside and write among the singing birds, sunshine, and trees. Or take a hike with my Mom. I just need space to breathe. I feel like I’m starting to suffocate in life among school demands and our messy clothes everywhere and trying to figure out how in the world to discipline our kid who just laughs at us (a whole ‘nother post for later).

And another thing that’s weighing me down–more expectations I had of myself. Remember last year year? Straight A’s for 9 classes in a row?  I felt like super Mom. Well now I am headed in the direction of B’s and C’s and I feel like I’ve failed. Why am I so hard on myself? I need to remember it’s not about the grade, but about the simple fact that I’m still in school and getting it done. I don’t have to be perfect, right?  Some one needs to keep reminding me of this.

That’s enough depressed thoughts for today.  On a happier note, tonight is the last night to enter the Unique Skins Giveaway over on the Review Blog so if you haven’t already entered, it’s your last chance!  3 winners will be announced tomorrow :-)

I have to say, I’m overwhelmed by all the birthday love I’ve been getting throughout the day. Thanks everyone! Comments, phone calls, and even presents in the MAIL! (Thanks Bre!) It’s turned out to be a simple, but good day. Nothing too exciting to tell, just another day at school and a lovely Spanish test to take, but I had a happy heart and smile on all day.

And while all the comments and presents are wonderful, by far the high light of my day was the simplest thing I could ask for: Hearing my Kaylee sing me happy birthday over the phone and then tell me about how she has “a lot of snot in her nose.” And knowing she asked to talk to me.

Melt my heart.

That said, we’re headed out tomorrow so you won’t be hearing much from me while I’m celebrating with friends, breathing in wonderful mountain air, and soaking in the gorgeous views.

I’m so blessed.

(P.S. Tomorrow another giveaway will be posted…worth $50! Come back tomorrow to see what it’s about.)

Photo Credit: Kwerner Design

I just realized that today marks the last “exciting” birthday that kids grow up looking forward to.

Exciting birthdays go something like this: I can’t wait to be 13, I’ll be a teenager! I can’t wait to be 16, I can drive then! I can’t wait to be 18, I’ll be a legal adult! And eventually: I can’t wait to be 21, I can buy alcohol! (Of course, hopefully 8 year old kids aren’t thinking that yet.) After 21 people tend to start dreading birthdays.

Birthdays are always a bittersweet thing for me. I’m excited to start another year with a bigger age attached to me in hopes that it’ll gain more respect. It’s another year gone by where I’ve learned and experienced more things that continue to make me who I am. But at the same time, it’s sad to know that each year that flips by is another one that pulls me away from my simpler childhood (which could actually be a good thing, but still).

Growing up is a weird, weird thing. Happy Birthday to me.

(P.S. Dad, I’ll eat a peice of turtle pie for you!)