(Just so you aren’t confused…I wrote this the same night as the last post, Forming the Adoption Puzzle, but this deserved its own separate post. Plus, I wanted to space out posts since I’ve been slacking lately :-) So, pretend its Friday April 15th again!)

Pregnancy, birth, and all things tiny-newborn-cute  has started to consume me again. I know, I still have a completely adorable and happy 5 month old baby upstairs blissfully sleeping, but I can’t help myself. There is seriously some hardwired momma gene in me I can’t just turn off. And no, I’m not pregnant. But, after months of talking Mark has finally officially agreed to having a 3rd child down the road, so just the thought that I will get to experience the amazingness of pregnancy and natural birth again (God willing, of course) has had me doing a happy dance all week. Of course, ideally I’d like to wait awhile to let my body heal and to enjoy the sweet baby that Jaxson is so don’t expect a baby bump on this blog any time soon!

That said, tonight (along with our adoption talk) Savannah revealed something else to me that I hadn’t known she thought about in her little girl mind. I told you, it was a serious discussion night during our snuggle session. In the book we were reading, the sister goes to the hospital to visit her Mommy and new baby brother and she stopped me while reading.

Savannah- “Mommy, why did she go to the hospital?”

Me- “Well, that’s where she went to have her baby. Just like when I went to the birthing center to have Jaxson.”

Savannah- “But, why didn’t I get to go to the birthing center?”

Me- “Did you want to?”

Savannah- “Yeah, I wanted to watch him come out.”

Whoa!  Like, whoa in a good way. I debated whether I wanted Savannah in the room or not when Jaxson made his debut, but I hadn’t done the whole natural-birthing-thing before and I didn’t even know what it would be like myself.  I didn’t know how I’d react to the contractions, the noises I’d make, if I would be straight up scary to be around, etc. and I just didn’t feel comfy with anyone else in the room except my husband and midwife. But, it melted my heart to hear her say that she wanted to be there. It makes sense to me that she would want to, after all she was there for every prenatal appointment, she felt his kicks and sang to him every night, we watching baby stories on TV and talked about birth. She was very involved with his pregnancy and it fascinated her, why wouldn’t she want to see her baby brother come out?  Next time, I think it would be neat for her to experience it. I feel like I know more now that I’ve lived it, that I could do my birthing thing with her observing the miracle nearby. I want to raise her to not fear child birth, that it’s a natural thing that God so beautifully designed. I want her to know that it isn’t painful if we let our body do its thing. What better way to teach her that, than to show her that? Society teaches about birth differently and in a much different light…I’d rather her see it for what it is, not what the way culture would have her believe it is. This article explains why its beneficial to have children present. Yeah, its not a choice for everyone just like natural birth isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but its one I’m willing to explore.

Also, every time we talk about having another baby she insists it will be a girl. Tonight when I told her she might be able to watch next time, “Then I’ll have a baby brother AND a baby sister living with me!” Hopeful? Or intuitive? Like I said though, don’t expect a baby bump around here any time soon!

Like I said before, 2010 was a fabulous year for me. I realized though after posting that there was so much more to it than just materialistic things like our new house, car, and my graduation diploma…there were prayers answered. It was God-filled. While certainly I feel like God blessed us with being able to purchase our own house and replace my falling apart car with a new one…things happened in 2010 that cannot be bought for any price. 

I can easier admit now that after my miscarriage of the twins, I was left doubting God and quite frankly was angry at Him. How could he take away my babies? I am fertile-myrtle, things like that don’t happen to me! Strangely though, I did have peace in their loss even as it happened and knew that it happen for a reason, but I still held on to blaming God for that hurt in my life as time went by. Thankfully though, God has used Jaxson’s pregnancy to help me overcome that, to trust Him again and prove that He is still trustworthy even when things don’t happen as we think they should.  Essentially, I feel He has used Jaxson’s pregnancy and birth to bring so many blessings and answered prayers in my life this past year. I clung to God as I found out I was pregnant with Jaxson because otherwise fear overcame me that I would lose that pregnancy, too. As many of us know, that desperation of no where else to turn is what brings us closer to God, and I’m thankful for that even though its hard!  Then, as Jaxson’s birth neared I clung to Him even more as I prepared to give birth the way I felt He intended it to be…naturally. As a result, He put so many wonderful people and resources in my path that helped me through my journey and were a huge support.  I truly feel like God was present at Jaxson’s birth, from giving me the strength to do it naturally, to watching over us as Jax came out with the cord around his neck four times and myself bleeding too much afterward.  Many people, especially family, were skeptical or worried about Jaxson’s birth and us using a birth center outside of the hospital but I felt in the depths of my heart that God had promised this birth to me in the way I desired and I held onto that promise.  He was our strength and protector.

Also, a huge answered prayer was a simple one: friends. Being a young Mom and wife, a birthmom, a Christian, etc. I have often felt like I don’t always “fit in.”  Really, more like caught in the middle.  Especially when I was still in college, I wasn’t a typical collage student that partied or lived near campus to be able to join in with people I met in classes. I went to school and went straight home to my baby girl and husband, and that was totally fine with me! But, it also felt odd to try to get to know women who did have a husband and kids because I am, well, usually a lot younger than them. Not that it bothers me at all to hang out with people older than me, but I just don’t want to be judged by my youngness. My life style was a mix of the “young” crowd and the “stay at home mom” crowd but with no one place to accommodate both. So, basically, Mark and I were our own best friends and my only other close friends lived hours and states away like Breannaor Victoria. I know my online friendships have value and are blessings in themselves but, of course, I really craved having someone (or a few someones!) that I could get to know really well locally. I wanted to be able call someone up for coffee each week or have a playdate with our kids while we chatted. I seriously prayed for years that God would bring some one that 1) was Christian that I could have spiritual conversations with 2) had kids so they understood my lifestyle.  And finally, in 2010 that happened. Not one, but several friends (thanks to my favorite Mommy Network!) that I can call and vent things to, to pray with me, to encourage each other, to watch our kids play together…such huge blessing! Now in 2011 I pray that Mark can find that same connection with men in our area because I know he is feeling just as I was and I know its hard at times. Life with friends to share and do things with is much sweeter!

So, in 2011 I pray that we are even more God-filled. That I can grow closer to God, to go to chuch more than 1 time a month, break out of my shell to actually get connected and know people, like through a small group. I pray that I can have a heart to serve just as others have helped me this past year when I needed it. I pray Mark feels that calling to God too, gets connected with others, and we in-turn grow together as a married couple in Christ. I pray that this year we truly realize that our body is a temple and we should treat it that way…therefore eating healthier as a family. I pray Savannah continues to grow in and learn about God (more on that soon!). I pray all my kids, whether with me or not, are safe, healthy, and know they are loved by me and God.

Seriously, 2010 was the best year ever. In so many ways. I sit here with a sleeping baby boy in my lap, warm and cozy in my house, a diploma in my possession resembling goals met and hardwork, beautiful snow on the ground, playdates planned for later this week, and I can’t help but feel blessedly fuzzy inside. Thank you, God, for everything. I know 2011 can be just as filled, if not more, with us clinging to Him as our foundation.

And…we’re back to baby and birth talk! I had one last thing to share about my birth experience that I think helped me get the birth I desired: Gentle Birth Formula. Since I was induced with Kaylee and Savannah, my midwife suggested I take a supplement as birth neared to help my body prepare itself and hopefully give it a little nudge in the right direction.  I did my research and found this one seemed to have the best results (this forum post was a huge help to read people’s real experiences!) and, of course, got it approved by my midwife before taking it.

So what is it? It’s a mix of herbs that is supposed to help your body prepare for labor. You start taking 1/4th a teaspoon at 35 weeks once a day and then build up to taking it 3 times a day until you give birth (I’ve heard you can take it after birth to help your uterus go back down and help with bleeding as well). However, I didn’t start until 37 weeks and I went straight 3 times day since I was technically full term.  And no, it doesn’t taste horrible since you mix it in a glass of water. I found it easier to take in a small gulp of water rather than an entire glass because it does leave a funky taste if you are constantly sipping on it. It comes in 3 different formulas, I went with the original because I knew Red Raspberry Leaf was great for toning the uterus (and was getting tired of drinking the tea every day!) and I felt comfortable with taking Blue Cohosh because I didn’t have high blood pressure. But, there are two formulas that leave those ingredients out if you need.

While I still went over my due date by a week, I truly think these herbs made a huge difference in my birth experience. Why? Let me count the ways.

This is what Gentle Birth Claims to do:

• Less Pain during labor and delivery
• Advanced Dilation before discomfort was felt
• Shorter and Easier Labor
• Shorter Recovery Time

And how did my experience stack up? Yes, yes, yes, and maybe.

While I certainly felt pain during labor, it never was unbearable. Sure, that could also be because I spent weeks learning how to relax myself and not fear the pain, but I could tell a difference in how the pain even felt compared to  Kaylee’s and Savannah’s labor before I asked for an epidural with them. Like, the fact that I was in full on active labor and then pushing without screaming for an epidural should say something because with Kaylee and Savannah I barely got to 3 or 4cm and I was ready for it. Advanced dilation before discomfort? I’d say so! I was a whopping 6 cm before real labor kicked in, mostly due to the fact that I had weeks of prelabor but each episode of prelabor/false labor that lasted a few hours or less brought me closer to the magic number 10 without much pain. Of course, it was annoying to keep thinking, “This is it! Oh, it stopped.” But, it made progress, I learned something new about labor with each episode, and that made it worth it in the long run.  I also never experienced any of that with Kaylee or Savannah, I had braxton hicks occasionally but I never thought I was in labor or even got past 1cm before going in for my inductions. Shorter and Easier labor? Yup. From the time real contractions started at 5:30pm to Jaxson being born at 10:07pm, it was only 4 and a half-ish hours. Again, this wasn’t like my previous two births where it took 12 hours to get from 1-10 hooked up the pitocin. And obviously, already being at 6cm helped speed things along too. However, my recovery time, while in some ways shorter like postpartum bleeding time and afterpains were much milder, I did have a harder time because I lost so much blood after birth and my iron was extremely low. Once I got my iron boosted back up, I felt much better though physically.

So, that pretty much wraps up my birth experience and what I found helpful in preparing for a natural birth. I definitely recommend this product whether you are seeking a natural birth or not because it does seem to make a difference in preparation to make birth easier. Of course, there are other things you can take or do to prepare your body, like drinking Raspberry Leaf Tea or taking/inserting Evening Primrose Oil and that can be found easier in local stores if you don’t want to shell out 30 some dollars for Gentle Birth. It was worth it to me though :-)

Seriously though, do the research and check with your doctor or midwife first before taking this or anything else.

Jaxson’s pregnancy was different in so many ways, not just because he was a boy and I felt physically different than with Kaylee and Savannah, but because of the care I chose during pregnancy. After two pregnancies with OBGYNs, two hospital births, two pitocin inductions, and two episiotomies I wanted something different. Not just in how I envisioned the birth to be, but in the attention and care I got through the 9 months as well. I did see an OBGYN during the first trimester to ease my fears after losing our twins last year and my visits there only confirmed my desire for something more. Sure, the doctor was nice but I was tired of waiting 45 minutes just to be seen for 5 minutes . Tired of tests I was told I needed to do. Tired of feeling like just a chart and not a person. So, I took advantage of The Pregnant Woman’s Rights and I switched when I felt comfortable that Jaxson was going to “stick” and be healthy in the beginning of my second trimester.

I had actually been researching midwives to use since I found out I was pregnant in 2009 with the twins so I had already decided who I wanted and where I wanted to deliver. My midwife, I’ll call her D, works with a birthing center completely separate from the hospital and only consists of licensed midwives. It took Mark a little while to get used to the idea of not using a hospital for fear of the “what if’s” but once he met D he began to trust her as I did. The birthing center was a stepping stone in a way for us, it was a way to get the completely natural experience I wanted like a home birth would be, but it wasn’t our home (which we both weren’t ready for). The differences between the OB and midwife care was apparent from the very beginning, even back in 2009 when I would email her questions about my miscarriage.

1) I loved that I could email or call her directly if I had questions or needed anything. I called her a million times to  inform her about contractions starting or stopping, to ask about cold remedies, questions about baby movements, my family concerns when I was overdue, etc. 2 weeks postpartum I still call her with concerns about Jaxson or postpartum things. It is so nice to get a quick response and not going through nurses, waiting hours for phone calls back.

2) I have only ever had her for my care and she was there the entire labor/delivery. D was the one who did my prenatal appointments and I knew she would be at my delivery. No doctor rotations, no hoping you get the doctor you like when you go into labor, no doctors popping in and out when its convenient for them, no hoping the nurse you get is a good one. So because I had her for every appointment and through the entire labor we both got to know each other much better than a typical doctor/patient.

3) Which brings me to my next point that prenatal appointments lasted much longer than a doctor appointment. Actually, technically it would be shorter since I practically never had a waiting time to be seen. But, meaning she was checking the baby and we were talking for good 20-30 minutes. I loved there wasn’t a rush in-rush out feel with her, she took her time. And again, having this extra time let me (and Savannah since she came to all my appointments and was often included in checking on the baby) get to know D more on almost a friend level.

4) I had options and could make decisions. In typical OB care, you are told what tests to take when, what shots or blood work you need, what the baby needs after birth, etc. as “preventatives,” regardless of whether you or your baby is at risk for the issue or not.  I loved that since I had no sugar in my urine or any other signs of gestational diabetes, I didn’t have to get the test done!  I also had the choice at 28 weeks if I wanted to get the rhogam shot as a preventative in case I had a car accident or something that would cause my blood to mix with Jaxson’s since I am RH-. Having had two other pregnancies, I thought I needed it or something horrible would go wrong and at first I was going to get it just in case. But honestly, the price of the shot (over $100) made me think twice about it…why spend that money if we don’t need it? D helped me do the research and I asked several professionals their advice and all said it wasn’t needed during pregnancy (even a hospital labor and delivery nurse and a wife to a doctor!). And IF something happened, like a car accident, I still had a window of opportunity to get the shot. In the end, I chose not to get the shot during pregnancy (but needed it after birth and I did take that one) and while it was hard at first to let go of the doctor mentality that something horrible would go wrong…I’m glad I had that choice and glad I made the choice I did.

5) The atmosphere was so much more relaxing! Though the birthing center is in a business building, when you walk in it is very homey. Especially the birthing rooms, they are set up as bed rooms you would have at home with real furniture, dressers, colorful bedlinens, painted walls, curtains, etc. No uncomfortable hospital beds, it was so nice to share a normal queen size with Mark and Jaxson after delivery. I’m sure it was much more comfortable than the hard couch/bed thing Mark had when Savannah was born! The prenatal room was the same way, a twin size bed rather than those hard paper covered doctor tables.  There was also much less people around since the midwives split up their days in the office, so it was quiet even during the day.

6) The attention I got from D in all areas was different. Not just her being there when I needed something, but during visits she asked questions that went beyond what doctors seem to care about. She had me pay more attention to my diet by writing down what I was eating for a week, every visit she asked if I was drinking enough water, she cared about how I was feeling emotionally in the week after birth, she encouraged me to let my self rest and recover after birth (not climb stairs, not get out of bed for 24 hours, etc.) and let others take care of me. Our visits just feel much more in depth and, well, personal. I’m definitely not just a chart number any more.

7) My labor(s) and delivery were what really marked the difference though. Like I said, it was such a peaceful and relaxing environment. The lights could be turned low how I wanted them. I could move into positions that I wanted rather than being stuck in the bed with IV’s. I was encouraged to eat and drink as much as I could rather than being starved with only ice chips to eat, “just in case” I ended up with a c-section. When it came time to push I chose what position felt the best and I was able to be in the birthing pool. The only time D told me to change positions was when Jax was taking a while to fully crown and she knew gravity would help, so I moved from a semi-reclined position to squatting to standing. I also didn’t hear “PUSH PUSH PUSH!” a million times like you hear on TV. D knew my body needed time to breathe Jax down by itself first to prevent tearing so she didn’t encourage me to actually try to push until the very end. She also didn’t do an episonomy like the previous doctors did and let my body tear naturally (which ended up being 2 small shallow tears that didn’t need stitches, much better than episonomy recovery!). I loved that she let my body do what it needed to do rather than forcing it (same for during pregnancy, I would have been hooked up to pitocin or had a c-section after my stalled labor if I was at a hospital).

8) After birth was also a huge difference. After D unwrapped his cord from his neck, he was immediately passed to me and he stayed with me. No rough rubbing to clean him off or make him cry, it was very gentle and calm. We did skin-to-skin contact for hours afterward and we were encouraged to breastfeed as soon as possible (with Savannah she was taken away and it was 3 hours after birth before they brought her to feed!). Jaxson wasn’t weighed until probably 2 hours after he was born, until I was ready to let him be checked out (which is why he popped 3 times before he was weighed, so he probably was more than 8 pounds at delivery). He didn’t get the goopy gunk in his eyes, since I knew I didn’t have STD’s or an infection for him to contract (again with the choices!). Like I said before, all 3 of us were able to rest in one comfy bed and when I was finally feeling some-what better after my blood loss we were able to go home after only 12 hours of arriving the night before.

I could write much more I’m sure, but that’s the gist of the midwife experience I had. Of course, experiences vary from person to person, from different midwives or issues that may come up. For me, it was amazing in every way (even with the frustrations of weeks in prelabor!), from the beginning to present.  I’m so happy with the choices I made and the outcome, I feel much more “complete” in my birthing experience than I did with Savannah. I got the natural approach to pregnancy and birth I wanted, I have a healthy son, and I feel like I’ve met yet another goal of mine. I did it!

Would I do it again this way? Absolutely.

Jaxson is already a week old. Wow. This time last week I was slurping away at a castor oil milkshake and doing Christmas shopping with him in my belly. It’s so bittersweet to think that my pregnancy with him is over yet I’m loving having him in our arms. Here’s a rundown of our first week as a family of four:

1) Savannah loves him. She asks to hold him often and runs to him if he’s crying to see what is wrong. She was absolutely giggly when she finally got to meet him the day we came home (so glad we captured that on video!). She often tells him that she loves him and has been a great helper when he needs something. Yet, she is also having a hard time adjusting to sharing Mommy and the attention, as we expected. Some moments have been rough for all of us as we adjust, and I’m learning that I need to keep depending on God for strength and wisdom in how to deal with this life change. And to simply just relax knowing that this is normal and it will pass. Each day does get better and better though as we find our new “normal.”

2) I’ve felt pretty weak from losing too much blood after birth, not to mention exhausted from the many wake up calls throughout the night.  And again, each day does leave me feeling better, especially since I started an iron supplement and I finally knocked out a cold that wouldn’t go away (Floradix and Vitamin D3 are my new best friends).  I’ve also been dealing with a lot of back pain since Jax’s birth threw something out of wack.  Some times I couldn’t even sit down because it would shoot pain up my back, ouch!  I decided to be brave a try a chiropractor to help (I hate popping things!) and it definitely has made a difference.

3) I’ve been overwhelmed with the love overflowing from friends and family, even people I have never met.  We’ve had a meal brought to use every single night between my local mommy group and the church we’ve only been to not even a handful times. My own family came down and took care of us for a few days bringing gifts and cooking me even more meals. It’s been wonderful to be surrounded by such love!

4) Jaxson is doing amazing. He only lost 2 ounces from his birth weight and quickly surpassed his birth weight just days later. He’s hit  a growth spurt and changing already, getting fat rolls around his chin and little legs. He eats like a champ (obviously) and is a pretty laid back guy. He sleeps pretty well at night considering he doesn’t have any “awake” periods like Savannah used to, but he does wake up often to eat…some nights every 30 minutes to an hour. I’m so hoping this is just because of the growth spurt! I’d be happy with even waking up every 2-3 hours at this point, seeing every single hour on the clock between 8pm and 9am is absolutely rough.

5) On the cloth diaper front, we haven’t switched over yet. One, because I have been feeling so weak and couldn’t physically manage doing chores like washing diapers for a while. Two, I wanted to get past the meconium stage. Three, because while his cord stump has fallen off, it still has a scab and I want that to heal first. The few times I did try cloth diapers with a cover (I love the Kissaluvs size O’s! ) it messed with his scab and I’d rather that be left alone. But, hopefully in the next week or two we’ll make the switch :-) And since he’s gaining weight quickly and getting fat rolls hopefully we can use the bigger sizes like Bumgenius and GroVia too :-)

6) While going from a Mom of 1 to 2 has absolutely been an adjustment for all of us, I think parenting number 2 seems slightly easier so far. I’ve been down this road before, I’ve got breastfeeding down (no crying in pain and considering formula like I did with Savannah so far!), I know better how to handle the night time wakings and survive them, etc. It has come back easily and I’m enjoying having a newborn around again.  Yes, it’s hard to eat with one hand, balance taking care of two kid’s needs, and get only 30 minutes of sleep at a time but I’m finding that it’s all about perspective. I know how quickly this will pass now that I’ve had Savannah and have watched her grow rapidly before my eyes. I want to treasure this sweet, crazy time before it’s gone too…and that makes those sleepless nights worth it. You bet I’m “spoiling” Jax with cuddles constantly right now!

7) I seriously feel sad that the birth is over. It was such a looked forward to event that consumed my thoughts and actions as I prepared for it, that it’s almost like I’ve had to grieve that it’s over and may never get to do it again. I had such a great pregnancy and loved my experience using a midwife and birthing center (I have a post planned with more details on that!). I keep re-living my labor and birth over in my head, proud of myself and in awe at how quickly it happened (once it FINALLY happened). So bittersweet.

And lastly, what I know you really came here to see…Jax at one week old:

Please excuse any misspellings or mistakes. I’m tired.

As you may remember part I of Jaxson’s birth story was last Friday on his due date, November 5th. I labored for hours, getting to 6cm before it stalled. And we waited and waited for it to kick back in.  Thursday was another round of prelabor, having contractions all night and well into the day before they fizzled again.  Friday November 12, I was 41 weeks and we were ready to get serious about getting this baby out into the world for many reasons.  I called my midwife, bought castor oil, and prayed that this would do the trick. (Yes, I did my research before taking it and I trust my midwife. I made sure to stay hydrated and there is no proof that it causes the baby to poop inside the womb, which it didn’t forJax).

Savannah was already had her grandparents since we thought the prelabor the day before could have been “it” and Mark had the day off, so we got lunch at the mall where I put about an ounce of castor oil in a milk shake and we did some Christmas shopping. When we got home around 3 or 4 that afternoon my contractions were irregular so I took another dose (my midwife suggests doing a dose every few hours) in lime juice and water. At 5pm Mark and I started watching a movie and right then the pooping fun began. It wasn’t too bad to me, just annoying to keep getting up to go. The taste of castor oil is probably worse since it is hard to get it to mix into anything! Like I said, I made sure to drink water constantly.

By 6:30 contractions were happening every 2-3 minutes but not painful (more like braxton hicks feeling) so my midwife said to stay at home and see if they get more intense and don’t fizzle out again. I took one more final dose of castor oil (midwife recommends 3 doses) in a snow cone to see if that would help. By 8pm things had definitely picked up stronger, still every 2-3 minutes but was feeling more with each contraction, especially in my lower back. Since we knew Jax was having a hard time getting to the right position for delivery, I laid over my birthing ball to encourage gravity to help him. About 8:15 I felt a pop, water trickle, and I suddenly felt him move lower and into position. I called my midwife and we all got ready to meet at the birthing center. During the wait I had a lot of pressure from either him moving down or the rest of my water bulging and every contraction was centered on my tail bone. We got to the birthing center around 9pm, where I worked through contractions by breathing and leaning against the wall while I waited for the tub to be filled and everything was set up for the birth. I noticed I started to feel a little nauseous with each contraction and at the peeks I almost was to the point of “I can’t do this!” in my head so I wondered if I was in transition phase, but didn’t say anything. I still felt confident that I could do this, knowing that each contraction was bringing me closer to meeting Jaxson and that each pain I felt only lasted for a minute. I remembered in the birthing class we took the midwife saying, “Who can’t do anything for a minute?” And I took that to heart each time knowing it wouldn’t last long.

I probably got into the birthing pool around 9:30, put in my headphones and finally let myself relax enough through each contraction, before I was almost was holding him in so that I either wouldn’t deliver him at home or when things weren’t ready yet. She checked me and said I was fully effaced and he was definitely lower, didn’t tell me dilation though.  Just after that while she called the second midwife to be on her way, I felt a huge pop as the rest of my water broke and instantly felt him move down even lower and my body began pushing. When they say you can’t fight the urge to push, it is so true! My body took over. I began making noises I never thought I would make, I felt my body begin pushing uncontrollably. I remembered also from class to keep the noises low and to breathe the baby down instead of the high pitched tense noises that are counterproductive.  Contractions were definitely intense and on top of each other, this was it! Jax began crowning soon after but was going slowly as my body knew I needed time to stretch to prevent major tearing.  She asked me to change positions into let gravity help bring him down and then she had me stand up. Crowning was absolutely the hardest part of delivery, I felt the ring of fire, I felt the stretching, I felt his head right there but wondered if he’d ever come out. This was the only point I thought “WHY did I chose a natural birth?!” Because it was so intense in every way. Once I stood up and began to really push harder, he came out quickly. It is amazing how instantly there is relief! I sat down in the tub and held my new baby boy! He was born at 10:07pm, just about an hour after getting to the birthing center and 20 minutes of pushing.

She told me the cord was wrapped around his neck FOUR times, which is probably why I had so many issues with his position, false labors, and him crowning so slowly since my body knew it needed time to stretch for the cord too. Jax had always been very active in my belly so it didn’t surprise me he had a cord around his neck.  Thankfully, God knew what He was doing and Jax had a very long cord so even with it wrapped four times, Jax never was choked and his heart rate was always perfect even during delivery. He came out with great color, just obviously tired from his journey. He didn’t cry, but made little whimpering noises until a few minutes later.

Then, it was my turn to have a scary moment. After the placenta came I started to bleed more than I should and I nearly blacked out trying to get out of the pool to the bed. My blood pressure dropped very low and I felt completely drained. They gave me a shot of pitocin and had me try to eat/drink. You could tell they were worried but after a few hours I was feeling better and bleeding normally. I still feel weak and trying to take it easy.

After I was feeling better 2-3 hours later we finally weighed and check out Jaxson. He checked out perfectly and weighed 8 pounds half an ounce, 19 and quarter long.  He probably weighed more at birth but he had already pooped a few times in the hours before weighing him. We rested and nursed throughout the night on a queen sized bed, including Mark, with Jax in the middle. It was so nice compared to the hospital!

12 hours after arriving, we left for home. He’s perfect, I’m understandably tired and sore but doing great. Definitely worth the wait and hard work :-)

The Pregnant Woman’s Rights

1) Every woman has the right to health care before, during, and after pregnancy.

2) The right to receive care that is consistent with current scientific evidence about benefits and risks. If the practice is harmful or ineffective then it should be avoided.

3) The right to chose a midwife or doctor as her care provider.

4) The right to chose her birth setting from her safe options available.

5) The right to leave her maternity care giver if she becomes dissatisfied.

6) The right to know the qualifications of those involved in her care as well as to know when those involved are trainees.

7) The right to receive care in privacy and to have all information treated according to the standards of confidentiality.

8) The right to full and clear information about risks, benefits, and costs of any and all procedures (drugs, tests, and treatments)

9) The right to accept or refuse any treatment, drugs, or tests. She also has the right to change her mind at any time. (This one is usually only true as long as the mother or baby is not in a life or death situation.)

10) The right to be informed if she or her infant is enrolled in a research stuffy and the right to accept or deny participating.

11) The right to access any and all of her pregnancy, labor, birth, postpartum, and infant records.

12) The right to receive care that is appropriate for her culture and religious beliefs, as well as to receive information in a language she can understand.

13) The right to have any family members and friends she chooses to be present in any of her maternity care.

14) The right for advance information on risks and benefits of any and all available methods of pain relief. She has the right to refuse or accept any and change her mind at any time.

15) The right of freedom of movement during labor and the right to deliver in any position she desires.

16) The right to uninterrupted time with her newborn, so long as both she and the baby are healthy and do not need to be separated for care.

17) The right to have information on breastfeeding, to refuse any supplements or actions that could interfere with breastfeeding, as well as have access to lactation support.

18) The right to decided with the caregiver when she and the baby can go home.

I saw this on a fellow November Mommy’s blog and had to re-post it. With Kaylee I was 16 and had a great, easy pregnancy and birth. I was induced on my due date and had an epidural, pushed for an hour and the entire thing was over in about 12 hours. I assumed Savannah’s would be the same, and to an extent it was. I was induced the day after my due date, had an epidural and delivered within 12 hours again. However, with Savannah it felt different. I was only 3 years older, just 19, but I wasn’t satisfied this time with the birth. This time, I was this little girl’s mom. Not just a woman who gave her life, but her Mom. I had the choice to breastfeed her this time and start to fill that parenting role. But, I wasn’t allowed to breastfeed her right away, I didn’t get to until midnight 3 hours after her birth! This time the epidural  left my back bruised and aching for weeks, a pain far worse than where it should have been hurting. Reflecting on it over the past 3 years I realized that I wanted a birth that I was an active part in, not just laying in bed waiting for things to happen. I want it to be an empowering experience, knowing that I made it through the pain with hard work, preparation, and support.

So, I’m doing things differently this time. I’ve been seeing an obgyn until now in the pregnancy as we made sure this little guy would “stick.” I needed the ultrasounds to help calm my fears and tests to be done to help me relax. Now that I’m 14 weeks, I’m breathing a lot easier and ready to quit being just a number on a doctor’s chart. I’m tired of waiting 45 minutes to be seen for only 5 minutes, only to hear the heartbeat and then she leaves. I went to my first midwife appointment last week and we talked for an hour about my history, diet, everything. My obgyn doesn’t have time for that kind of caring, but I’m glad I’ve found some one that does!

And here’s a shocker for some people: I’m not giving birth at a hospital. No, it’s not my house, but it’s a birthing center 5 minutes away. My exams are on a twin bed with sheets rather than a stiff paper covered exam table. I’m going to labor and maybe even give birth in water. I’m not going to be induced with medicine or have an epidural. I’m going to use hypnobirthing to manage the pain. I’m going to hold my baby until I’m ready to let him go to be weighed. I’m going to breastfeed right away if he wants. I’m going to have as many people in the room as I want. I’m going home just hours after birth instead of waiting around for 2 days. I’m going to sleep in my own bed and not have nurses prodding my belly all night. I’m simply doing things much like women have successfully done for centuries and what they still do in other countries. It feels empowering already.

I’m not saying this way is the best way, everyone has their own vision of birth and what they are comfortable with. But after 2 births, I know that I personally felt something missing from the experience and this is the right choice for us this time around. I have actually been scared to tell certain people (like family) that I’m doing things differently, because using a doctor and hospital is simply standard these days and midwives are thought of as not safe (which isn’t true, do the research. It’s actually safer with way less infant mortality and c-section rates!). It’s definitely a choice that goes against the grain of society, but I’m going to take advantage of my pregnant woman’s rights and do what I feel is right for us.

I had my first midwife appointment on Tuesday to verify that I am indeed pregnant–and I am!  I also was hoping to figure out when I’m due, she currently has me at December 7th but I think it may be later (hoping it’s later for exam sake).  Since I’m unsure, I’ve got an ultrasound schedule for April 30th!  I’ve never had one this early on so that will be neat and she’ll be able to measure for an accurate date and she said I should even see a little heartbeat already by then.

I decided to go with a midwife this time because, if you haven’t noticed in the past few months, I’ve kind of…changed.  The whole natural/green world is really appealing to me and having a midwife seems to fit right along with that.  See, I’ve been induced twice, had two epidurals, etc. and I just want to try things different this time.  I know it sounds crazy but I want to feel what it’s like to go into labor, not just lie on a bed and wait for pitocin to kick in. I want to feel what it’s like to work through my labor pains, to walk around, to let gravity do some work, to be support by others, etc.

I really, really would like to try to not get an epidural this time. With Kaylee, it was fantastic. Everything about her birth was to me. With Savannah? The epidural left my back hurting for WEEKS. The nurse told me that I had a gigantic bruise from where it was inserted and the anesthesiologist dismissed it and my back pain to being from “back labor.” Right. I just don’t want to go there again. Plus, like I said, I don’t want to be stuck in the bed. I want to work through it. I know, I know I sound crazy.

Also, it really bothered me with Savannah that I did not get to hold Savannah or breastfeed right away. I did get to hold her soon after she was born, but it took a minute to wrap her up first. But to breastfeed? THREE HOURS LATER. It was midnight.  That really, really bothered me. I’ve talked with my midwife about all this and she was very positive that that wouldn’t happen again (unless something serious went on, God forbid).   She also said that if I’m not induced I’m more likely to progress faster with this being my third baby, so all the more reason to wait in my eyes. I love my midwife so far! I will still be delivering at a hospital (makes me feel safer “just in case”, but the care and attention will be different. I also have a friend who is a doula, so I’ve already got tons of support lined up!

And after the baby is born…I’m seriously considering cloth diapers *gasp* Again, I know people will think I’m crazy.  But 1) We’re poor college folks and I can buy an entire diaper collection for 3 years for the same prize as what I pay for ONE year of disposables and wipes (about $500-600).  To me, that’s worth a shot. If it doesn’t work out for me? I can sell them and make a profit back. 2) Have  you seen how much cuter they are? I’ll admit, I’m a little overwhelmed looking at all the options but with the help from some experienced cloth mommas I’m slowly figuring it out and what will work best for us.

And lastly, I plan to do a lot more baby wearing this time around. With Savannah I did a little bit for when we went on walks and such, but not so much in daily life.  With a toddler to keep up with on top of a newborn, I think I’ll be needing my hands but also want baby close so I plan to invest in a good sling or two.  Any suggestions?

I guess I’m becoming a crunchy little mom, huh?

P.S. I forgot to tell some super exciting news…Savannah peed in the potty! Of course, now she won’t do it again for me (she was at a friend’s house). But still. YAY for a start!