What? Two posts in one day here? It’s amazing what a little thing like classes ending will do :-) It’s so nice to have a little free time to breathe for exams.
Anyway, I wanted to post this great article on Huffington Post about adoption awareness. It’s written by a birthmother in an open adoption of 12 years and brings up much what I have discussed here on this blog and way beyond (like ethical practices). I’m glad some one is out there talking about it in the news!
If you’ve been following the Ralph Lauren Boycott on here and want to help with this cause, I strongly encourage you to join the Facebook Group: Boycott Ralph Lauren. Their goal is to reach 100,000 members/fans by Friday to prove to RL that there is support for this cause in huge numbers. As Darryl says,
“This boycott isn’t about Ralph Lauren per se’, (even though his recent ads are the worse I’ve seen) it’s about the entire industry. If Ralph Lauren buckles from all of the publicity and grassroots support that we mount, we’ll send a message to the entire industry that we’ve had enough.”
If you’ve ever looked at a magazine, a TV commercial, an internet ad, anything in the media that has made you doubt your own beauty, you need to sign up for this. We need change in America, we need images that reflect real women. This isn’t about RL products, it’s about the images they chose to impose on women to feel bad about themselves. If you’ve ever had issues with body image, please sign up. Let’s take them down. Let’s make a new face for women in society, one that shows real beauty, not a stick figure. I also suggest that you sign up for the newsletters that Darryl Roberts sends out (which is some of the information that I’ve been posting here) for the full behind the scenes details and what we can do as a collective group for change. Simply email boycottralph@americathebeautifuldoc.com to be added to the list. The most recent newsletter came out today, it’s very lengthy so I won’t post it all but it has some important information in it.
If you want to read even more about this movement, you can read about it in The Huffington Post (which has spread to other news resources as well!).
As you know, I was supposed to appear on CNN News today with Dr. Maria Rago of ANAD and former supermodel Emme at 4pm Eastern Time to announce the nationwide boycott of Ralph Lauren that thousands of you signed up for.
Well, The Ralph Lauren Company orchestrated a very savvy move and the segment was just cancelled. 30 minutes ago. 2 hours before we were to go live.
Tomorrow morning I will send out a newsletter with the full details letting you know what happened. Every single gory detail!
The boycott will continue, but even stronger now.
I’ve started the America the Beautiful Action Network which will fight any ad or condition that harms the healthy self-esteem or overall emotional and mental well being of young women and girls.
When I sent out the newsletter yesterday announcing the CNN appearance, hundreds of teenage girls emailed me, saying they would watch the segment knowing their voice would finally be heard by many.
You should be proud of yourselves because your voice was heard. Imagine the top executives at Ralph Lauren scurrying to keep me off of CNN. They won that battle but together we will win the war.
I fully understand now that these companies aren’t going to change their ways unless you make them with how you spend your money.
What upsets me the most is that so many young girls are suffering from these images and all Ralph Lauren seems to care about is not being boycotted (i.e. losing revenue).
I’m speaking with organizers to mount boycotts outside of his stores in NY, Chicago and maybe San Francisco.
I’ll need your support more than ever now. We’re on their radar now and if we buckle, they’ll never stop with their draconian advertising.
To every woman and young girl reading this. I promise to keep fighting for you. And the fight will continue tomorrow!
Forever with you,
Darryl Roberts
Whew! This has been a difficult week dealing with the boycott, but I think we’re all making some headway.
This is where we are now – The Ralph Lauren Company didn’t respond to my open letter (even though most of the high ranking executives at the company read it), so I called for a national boycott on behalf of all of the hundreds of thousands of women that were offended by his recent photoshopped ads. (See below).
I contacted CNN and told them that I was organizing a boycott of Ralph Lauren products on behalf of every woman in America that felt his ads were egregious and harmful to women and especially young girls.
CNN contacted The Ralph Lauren Company to get their side of the story and what do you know, they returned CNN’s phone call. I can’t wait for you to hear the statement that they gave!
Not surprisingly, an executive at The Ralph Lauren Company has been spending the last 2 days trying to keep me off of CNN. It would have worked, but the grass roots campaign that all of you have mounted by spreading my letter around was way too awesome. (I’ll explain exactly what happened in my newsletter early next week).
So tomorrow tune into CNN at 4pm Eastern Time:
4pm Eastern which is 3pm Central, 2pm Mountain and 1pm Pacific time.
Someone told me that Ralph Lauren is personally thinking about coming on to debate the issue with me. I will give him a lot of credit if he does it.
I want all of you to tune in tomorrow because this entire boycott is for you. Tomorrow will let every woman and young girl that signed the boycott letter know that you do have a voice. And tomorrow your voice will be heard.
I’d like to thank ANAD, IAEDP, the YWCA of America, Monte Nido, the thousands of health professionals, the universities and the tens of thousands of you that support me. Together we will make a difference.
Barring any last minute strategies by the RL Company, see you tomorrow on CNN.
Forever with you,
Darryl Roberts
Forewarning: this is a long post but worth it!
I saw this documentary, America the Beautiful, this past spring and it was amazingly eye opening (It’s now on Netflicks.com to watch instantly!). The creator, Darryl Roberts was actually there for the viewing and it was refreshing to see a man so passionate about women’s issues, especially mentally what women go through, and in turn battling huge issues in the media that only fuel the flame in women’s worlds.
His latest work has been taking action against big names in the media that are obviously displaying negative images of women in very unhealthy ways. Ralph Lauren has been under scrutiny lately because of his choice of adds and WAY over editing them to make a normal beautiful model appear drastically thin as if to encourage anorexia and one looks almost like a bobble head. How is that attractive, anyway? Why is having some curves and meat such a bad thing now?
Darryl has written two letters to RL and I wanted to spread the word. One can be found here. The other is below along with examples of the ads. If you also believe in this cause about fighting for a change in how media is portraying women in unhealthy ways, please email boycottralph@americathebeautifuldoc.com and let Darryl know so his numbers are up to date! We need change, not just for us adult women, but for our girls who are growing up with this image of beauty thrown at them as well. Look at the ads below, is that what you want your daughter to look like? I didn’t think so.
Hello Mr. Lauren,
Let me preface this entire letter by saying that I’m truly sorry that we have to meet under these terms and conditions. I would rather have met you at the Four Seasons Hotel and had a juice and pretzels with you, because I’m sure you’re a really interesting guy. And I assure you, I’m a really nice guy as well.
Fortunately for me, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting tens of thousands of young girls while promoting my documentary “America the Beautiful.” To look in the eyes of over 100,000 college women and hear their pain (body image, self-esteem) has been an experience that I will never forget. I’ve also heard from over 80,000 parents that are in pain because they have to hear from their sons and daughters in pain. It does truly become a generational cycle.
I’m sure that you’re fully aware that a lot of the American population feels that the unhealthy ads in magazines are damaging to women. The damage comes in various forms; body image problems, low self-esteem and for some of the women, they get a full blown eating disorder like your niece Jenny.
I had a professional in the eating disorders world tell me last night that images like yours don’t cause eating disorders in every girl that sees it – What happens is girls that end up with an eating disorder had a 50-80% predisposition for getting an eating disorder in the first place and the negative magazine fashion ads and other factors are the gun that pulls the trigger. For the millions of other girls that don’t get an eating disorder, they’re left feeling fat, ugly and worthless.
Ralph, there is no turning back for me. When I met these women traveling from city to city and country to country, I looked them in the eye and promised them that I would do whatever I could to make the world a better place for them.
In my last letter to you, I mentioned that I would never buy anything with the RL (Ralph Lauren) label on it. Well, over 100,000 people emailed me and said they were joining me. They said they wouldn’t buy anything with the RL label on it as well until you promised to stop the very harmful kind of marketing and advertising for which you’ve been accused. Some of their emails are below.
In case you’re wondering “what harmful marketing and advertising?” – I have exhibits A, B and C of your advertising below.
Most of the emails that I’ve received are from adults. They’re fed up with it Ralph.
Believe it or not, they get hurt as much as the young girls that read the magazines and look at the ads. “How? You wonder.” When a young girl reads these ridiculous fashion magazines and gets triggered into a full blown eating disorder, who do you think gets left holding the bag for the $30,000 a month treatment? I’ve met parents that have had their entire savings wiped out and some have taken out second mortgages on their homes to pay for the treatment of their young daughters. Trust me Mr. Lauren, they’re sick of it.
To be clear, this isn’t just an issue of eating disorders. In my film, “America the Beautiful,” I interviewed a 7 year old girl and a 12 year old girl, both of whom insisted that they were ugly. They couldn’t tell me specifically why they were ugly. They could only reference celebrities and ads of models as references of how they’re supposed to look. And you know what was funny about the whole thing, neither one of them were ugly. They were quite attractive girls actually. Their self-esteems have been assaulted by —- I’m sure you get the picture by now.
Mr. Lauren, women live in a very toxic culture. Men as well now that I think about it.
For the record, I’m letting you know that exactly 112,489 of us will no longer buy anything that you’re associated with until you give us a commitment that you will no longer use droconian advertising like the ads below. We don’t want any money from you, nor do we want any free clothes. We just want young girls that read fashion magazines to be safe.
Also for the record, ANAD, the largest eating disorders awareness organization in the US is supporting me with my boycott. You can read about them at www.anad.org
I’ll be in Washington, DC tomorrow meeting with the CEO of the YWCA to get them to support me with my boycott as well.
There are YWCA locations in 122 countries around the world, 300 locations in the US working in 9 regions – 25 million women strong. You can read about them at www.ywca.org
I’m going to talk to the press, arrange demonstrations, basically anything I can do to help women that suffer from these ludicrous ads.
I plan on having over 1 million people that agree with my position to not purchase any RL products as well until you agree to advertise to women in a way that respects and values them.
For clarity sake, this boycott isn’t just about your company. It’s about the entire fashion / beauty industry that advertises in a way that’s harmful for women. We’re hoping they will see that people are fed up and change their advertising practices as well. We picked you because you went waaaaay over the top with the 3 ads below.
If and when you send a formal announcement agreeing to stop with your draconian advertising, the boycott will be over and I’m sure some parents will forgive you and start buying your bedding products again.
Remember we’re doing this for the safety of young girls Mr. Lauren, including your niece Jenny.
So, what’s it going to be Ralph? It’s your conscience. Your decision. We await your answer. Until then, I’m off to do my Christmas shopping with your competitors.
Respectfully yours,
Darryl Roberts
AND REASON #3 FOR THE BOYCOTT -
So, this morning I was listening to our local Christian radio on my way to school and the radio host asked callers to talk about what they survived. Some were big touching stories like surviving a house fire, beating breast cancer, etc., others were smaller that and caused chuckles. But, I immediately thought about my adoption experience. I survived it. I survived when my heart couldn’t even think of placing Kaylee but I knew God was calling me to a road less taken, I survived when I signed those papers, I survived when I rode away from the hospital without a baby in the back seat, I survived when I sat on my kitchen floor sobbing while holding my puppies. I survived.
I had this pressing feeling I needed to call. Now, if you know me in person, I am not a social person. I don’t raise my hand in class to speak typically, I don’t like attention on myself, I’m very quiet and reserved so for me to call a radio station for thousands to hear my voice had to mean something, right? I tried calling a few times and it was busy and almost gave up, thinking “Oh well, I tried!” But I tried one more time just before reaching school and got through! The hosts told me wait 2 minutes while they played a song and then I was on. It was a very brief 1-2 minute talk but I did it! (Seriously, this is huge in my quiet world).
I said something like, “I survived placing my daughter in an open adoption when I was 16 years old.” and they discussed how brave I am and asked how often I see her, etc. I talked about how it was a decision that God lead me to and turned into a wonderful experience, she has great parents, how the adoption experience lead me back to God, etc. And the male host said, “well you just need to write up a book and share your story!” and I said, “Well writing is definietly something that God has placed on my heart and I plan to do that some day but I do have a blog now that I write about how hard adoption can be but also what a blessing it is too” (Which, was totally a confirmation and reminder to me that YES I need to start this book process and stop making excuses about time. I really feel like that’s what God has in store for me at some point in life). And the female host requested that I send her an email with the link because she wanted to read it. She then asked what would I say to a girl that found herself in this situation, which threw me off guard, so I said something about pray about it and seek support.
I kept praying that God would use whatever I said to encourage some one out there, I prayed that if I was meant to get through I would, and I did. I don’t know what will become of it, or if I’ll ever know, but I really felt like it happened for a reason.
When I got to school I emailed the radio my blog link and then emailed Kaylee’s parents telling her about me bragging at how amazing they are and thanked them for allowing me to be in Kaylee’s life.
Anyways, that’s my exciting news for the day :-D ME. On the radio!
I don’t really like MTV. Well, I used to back in the middle school and high school days when it was the cool thing to watch all the time. But then I realized what trash it is, filled with sexual images and dirty language constantly. Ick! Why waste my life watching crap on TV?
But, in saying that, I will be watching MTV this week for one show: 16 and Pregnant. It’s covering an adoption story and the adoptive couple happens to be from North Carolina where I am from and went through the same agency one of my friend’s did. With teen pregnancy on the rise and teen mothering becoming more and more the “cool” thing to do , I’m interested to see how this adoption story will play out in the media. Adoption just isn’t talked about much and when it is? It’s usually either negative or totally misses the mark on what a blessing adoption can be. Like Juno. Gah, hated the movie. It totally skimped out on how hard it is to make the choice of adoption! The real emotions were smushed under comedy lines and a fake smile saying “let’s just get this baby out and NO I don’t want to have contact afterwards!” and a weird, weird relationship with the potential adoptive father. Bottom line: totally unrealistic. The same goes for the hit show “Secret Life of an American Teenager”. Again, it’s unrealistic and they backed out on the adoption story. Lame. Is adoption really that scary that people can’t talk about it for what it really is, the good and the bad, just like people do with teen pregnancy and parenting?
Anyway, I’m hoping MTV redeems it’s self with this show. I hope and pray it fights the stereotypes that us birthmothers simply don’t care about our children, that we just give birth and never look back, or that we are escaping from the consequences of having sex, being selfish and irresponsible because we aren’t parenting our “mistake” (I totally don’t see Kaylee or Savannah as a mistake, fyi). I hope people can see we are exactly the opposite of what the world thinks we are: unselfish, responsible, and displaying the ultimate love in sacrifice to give our children better than we could at that time in life. We may not deal with the “consequences” in midnight feedings and diaper trips, but we certainly feel the consequences on our heart every single day. I’m tired of people misunderstanding the heart of birthmothers and our intentions. Why are adoptive couples praised and unselfish for adopting a child but the birthmothers that provided that opportunity for the couple is shunned and selfish? I just don’t get it.
Here is a small clip of the episode that seems very promising, I can so relate. And of course, if you look on that same page Catelynn has already been met with public comments and disapproval of her choices. And yes, I made a MTV profile just to comment back to the ignorant comments.
16 and Pregnant: Catelynn’s Adoption story
On MTV this Thursday July 16 at 10pm
Expect a post with my thoughts afterwards! Here’s to hoping some adoption education is spread to the MTV world.
While I’m recovering from my nasty cold and going to use Savannah’s nap time to nap myself, just thought I’d share my project for my last class. The assignment was a creative one that expresses what feminist issues are close to you and what you can do to help. My biggest issue right now? Raising Savannah. And that’s something I can definitely do something about starting now.
(Of course, being sick, I didn’t make it to school to show the class and talk about it so I’m hoping and praying I still get the credit.)
Savannah is obsessed with Disney princesses, pretty much like every other little girl in America that I know. And on the surface, it seems like a good thing. Ya know, all happy and beautiful and girls getting what they really want, like true love (after the Prince saves her, of course). I can’t lie, I used to watch the movies and dress up in the same Princess clothes that Savannah does now. But as I’ve been taking many, many woman’s studies classes that touch on issues and the messages we send young girls and grew up with ourselves, yes, it does worry me. Am I worrying for nothing? Maybe. Did I turn out alright? Yes, but don’t we want better for our children?
Think about it. Pretty much every woman I know has body issues. Now you and I compare our selves to magazine covers and TV ads constantly, probably not even realizing it. We’re forced against an unattainable standard of beauty daily, constantly through the day, and it’s proven statistically that it brings us down about how we feel about ourselves just with a few flips of a page. Because there are not “real” women in most of the media, not one (perhaps minus the Dove Campaigns) that doesn’t turn to plastic surgery, personal trainers, professional make up artist, air brushing, etc. We can’t keep up with them with our child bearing hips, crows feet wrinkles, and belly flab. Sadly though, we start the comparison at a very young age. In fact, Disney shows us images of women not liking their looks. Ever seen Peter Pan? In the beginning Tinker Bell is admiring her reflection when she looks down and is shocked by the size of her bottom and hips. Ever noticed that all the princesses bodies look the same, just different hair or skin color? They all look like Barbies, with super skinny waists and big boobs, even though they are supposedly around the age of 16 (I know the Little Mermaid is 16), totally unrealistic and, again, unattainable for most people (and not to mention an unattainable life style as well). Why is there not more a variety? And why does the men always save the woman? Why can’t the woman ever save herself?
And what about other messages? Like Beauty and the Beast, do you realize that is an abusive relationship right there? Bell is taken captive by the Beast, she is locked up (isolated from her father, typical sign), she has to deal with several bouts of his anger and rage, but then it gets happy because he suddenly changes to a Prince because of “love.” And we let our children watch this movie thinking it’s a happy princess ending and thus saying that abuse is ok? I watched a documentary about the Disney movies, and no lie, there were kids who picked up what was going on and said things like, “I love Beauty and the Beast! I just feel bad for Bell because she has to live with the Beast when he gets really angry.” How is that a love story? How is that a good message, when it’s saying “Stick with the man you love even if he’s a beast because eventually he’ll turn around!” Wrong. In real life, he won’t turn around, it will only get worse. (Note: If you are my family or friend, please do not buy Savannah this DVD for her birthday or Christmas ;-) Thanks!). Our girls deserve a better example of true love than that.
Now please, please don’t get me wrong. I grew up with Disney and have the same fond childhood love as you all do. I loved going to Disney World, and probably will take Savannah there one day because it’s a great and magical experience. My problem is that girls get sucked into this world and watch these movies over and over, they dress up like them and want to be like them, and they internalize just as we have the messages about relationships and body. No, Disney is not all bad. I just wish they would think more clearly about the total package they are sending to girls and I think us as parents need to careful watch what we put on the TV to filter the messages and images, even if it means giving up a DVD like Peter Pan or Beauty and the Beast.
Anyways, what inspired this post were these images by Dina Goldstein. She does something really neat with these Princesses, she brings them to modern day life and what they may be like if they had realistic endings. These are two of my favorites (if you know the stories they speak for themselves), more can be found here.
It seems like adoption has always been apart of my world, when I was a young child I had cousins and aunts adopted into our family so it was just a natural thing for me to grow up with. However, not until I became a birthmother at 16 did I truly take an interest and acquire a passion for adoption. One thing I learned? Dave Thomas, ya know the Wendy’s founder, was adopted as a child and later in his life set up an Adoption program for to help Foster Care children find forever homes. But really, besides knowing that fact, I hadn’t given it much thought in how I could help.
But, this weekend we can all easily help these children find permanent homes with just a few clicks and a yummy treat. Father’s Day weekend is coming up very soon! And for the special Dad occasion on June 20th and June 21st Wendy’s will donate .50 cents for each frosty purchased to go toward the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. And, for every Father’s Day Frosty card sent on their website they will donate .25 cents to the program. How easy is that? Like I said, just a few clicks to send your favorite Dads a card and taking them out for a yummy Frosty treat not only to brightens their day and says thanks for all they do, but also helps these children. It’s a win-win situation.
Thanks to Mom Central for sharing the information for this helpful cause!
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