I’m am exhausted. It’s been a busy day cleaning, running errands, and preparing for a certain little boy’s 1st birthday tomorrow.

Tonight, I’m grateful for rest. Not just physical rest for my mind and body, but for my soul, too. A rest that only God can give.

I love how different Bible translations can change just one simple word and it can change the entire feeling and meaning. Tonight and tomorrow, this one fits:

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (ESV).  Today, I’ve been working hard preparing. My body is tired from constantly moving, sometimes with a 19 pound boy strapped on my back when he wanted his Momma. A year ago, my body was literally in labor bringing him into this world and God provided rest and relaxation during so.

Usually though, I think of this version, because it reminds myself to bring my worries to Christ. A soulful rest. Peace.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (NIV).

Goodnight, all. Tomorrow I have a 1 year old. I need my rest both physically and in my soul…

…I can’t believe its been a year…

Hopefully I can pass out like Savannah does.

Colors make me happy.

Savannah keeps asking what my favorite color is and I tell her I can’t pick just one. I love them all in their own way and for their own purpose.  I love the colors that God has given us in nature (Our pastor joked one Sunday that God’s favorite colors must be green and brown because they are found everywhere!). I love the color of food, especially when my plate is loaded with many vibrant contrasting colors of fresh fruits or veggies. I love the colors found in my wardrobe; a lot of teals and greens. I love the blue of my husband’s eyes and the purple of an orchid.

I’m thankful that we don’t live in a black and white world, but one full of excitement and beauty. One where a burst of color in the golden and red trees outside in the November sun can feel like a love note from God, too.

Just about every afternoon when Mark gets home for work, they all head outside to play while I finish dinner. Occasionally, I sneak away from dinner when I have a minute and watch scenes like this. Moments full of laughter and joy. Bonding. Watching our little zombie walker trying to run away carrying a football practically as big as he is. The way Savannah sequels with delight as she runs away and tries to get a “touchdown.”

It’s the best football “games” there are (and a lot more entertaining than the real deal football for this non-sports-fan!)

Its hard to believe its been 2 years since we started our search for a home with our awesome realtor, turned friend (You can read about our roller coaster ride here, scroll down to the bottom). We looked at many houses in different areas, price ranges, different ages. Nothing felt right…until I walked into the door and glanced into the room that I’m in now as I type this. It was perfect. It still is perfect for our needs. Like finding a spouse…you just know when its the one. We love it. I seriously look around every day amazed at the home God had placed into our lives despite our long wish-list of needs in a home.

For one, we had a very small budget that made it difficult but this was actually under our goal! It has the open concept I wanted to be able to see my kids where ever I am and run around the house to chase them (or loop around in circles while trying to keep contractions going a year ago!). It has the perfect amount of rooms we needed, including a playroom/office (I guess a guest room would be nice, but we make it work!). It was a newer construction and in excellent condition (no brass fixtures or fixer-uppers for us, please!). The location is idea, with an awesome school down the road and close to highways and shopping. Our neighbors are pretty cool, too. And one of the best things? We don’t have to mow our own yard. Mark and I are not yard working type of people. Since we technically live in a town home (yet amazingly share no walls with neighbors!) HOA handles the yard maintenance. God knew what we needed and absolutely blessed us with this home exactly when we needed it…coincidentally we found it the same time that I should of had the twins I miscarried in December 2009. We honestly could in vision us staying here forever, living a simple life. When we have more kids they can bunk beds, right? :-)

Here’s our house when we found it 2 years ago. Now it has a swing and a million pink-and-purple toys all over the porch! And it has blinds, definitely love having blinds. Thank you God for our warm home!

 Baby feet are adorable. They are chubby and wrinkly. They’re spontaneous. Adventurous.  Never stinky.

A year ago these feet were kicking within me, now they are paddling around my house in a zombie fashion with the sound of pitter-patter and baby jabber. We spend our time tickling them and playing this-little-piggy.

I’m thankful that simply my kids have feet. I’m thankful they are a reminder of how small they used to be– and where their feet will take them someday.

Today was Orphan Sunday at our church and it sparked that passion inside I have for adoption on many levels, reminding me of the importance of adoption.

I’m thankful for how God has used adoption in my life, the story He’s given us to display His glory, the life He’s given Kaylee with her awesome parents. The mere fact that He had it all planned out– He took my bad choices and orchestrated it into a beautiful time line of events and blessed our relationship. I’m grateful for how adoption was an avenue God used to redeem my own life. And in another perspective, I’m thankful that we are all adopted into God’s family if we chose to accept it!

Jesus said in Matthew 25:45, “I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.”

“Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.” James 1:27

We talked about God calling us to help orphans and widows in various ways. Adoption, of course, being one of those ways, along with supporting those who are trying to adopt, sponsoring a child, or going on a mission trip, etc. Or, simply praying for them. Makes me wonder what God has in store for our future and how He’ll use us to help as we continue our walk!

By the way, November is National Adoption Awareness Month! Anything you want to know that I can help answer?

Strangely, yes, I am thankful for tough times. I know that sounds weird, who likes to go through a rough patch in life or have a bad day? I don’t. But in hindsight I am thankful for them because they stretch and grow me in new ways.  They build character. They refine me, like a a fire purifying gold. And ultimately, they draw me closer to God. That’s the best part.

Today has been one of those days.

Granted, I know I am blessed in that my life could be far worse than it is but little things are getting me down today, from issues going on within my marriage to the fact that Jaxson’s birthday is in a week….I’m an emotional wreck today. I feel blue (I’m sure hormones are adding to the emotional equation as my body is still going through transitions thanks to breastfeeding). I feel hopeless at times about certain things in life. I’m questioning God and His timing. I’m re-living the emotions I felt a year ago.

I’m a person that loves to reminisce and treasures silly things like ticket stubs, just so I can remember what movie I saw at what time and with who. Birthdays are like looking at a ticket stub to me. They suddenly rush back memories, good and bad. Of how and where I spent my day, first moments, emotions, frustrations, things I would change or wish I could re-live. The one thing that has brought tears more than once today is knowing that a year ago tonight, right now, I was in labor with Jaxson…and I miss it. A labor that started on its own on his due date, accelerated me to 6cm dilated and quit. Stopped. I consider this night the beginning of my birth experience, because after all, it was real contractions and real progress but that just happened to hit pause and left me hanging with a “To Be Continued” sign until a week later. It left me grieving the birth I didn’t have yet, it left me angry and confused. But yet, it left me having no where else to turn but to God for comfort. I look back at the blog post I wrote a few days after my stalled labor and again feel that deep disappointment and confusion, but I can also see a humble strength while I cried on my knees. And then, just a few days later I see a renewed strength and growth that only God could have given me. I can see how God used that time to draw me into His arms and love on me, urging me to trust Him. Just like in the many hard times I’ve had in my life whether small moments like this, or large ones like like my adoption experience or miscarriage, He’s always taught me things through them.

I know its silly that, not only am I crying about missing his birth experience, but the fact that his actual birthday is a week away! Tonight I’m trusting He’ll use my grief again and teach me something…and turn this birthday grieving into celebration of his birth and joy for the awesome little guy Jaxson is today one year later.

And, I’m trusting He’ll bless me with the experience of another natural birth in the future :-)

Oh, my sweet husband. He rocks. He does things to make my life easier and he’s great at little (and big) surprises.  I love that he knows what I like and then does it–for no reason other than he loves me. I’m trying to be more like him in that sense. He’s so romantic.

Like, last night he spent his night cleaning up the entire down stairs while I was away babysitting for a friend and he left me this sweet note. The dishes were done, laundry was folded that had been sitting there since Monday, floors swept, counters wiped, toys up. He’s a better cleaner than I am, we joke that he should be the Stay-at-Home-Dad and I go make the living. Speaking of being a Dad? He’s a fantastic one! He knows how to make our kids giggle like nothing else can. He makes up the best songs and can make anything a game. He’s very involved in their lives and I’m grateful for the man he’s always been, that he’s stuck with me all these years in our ups and downs (*ah hem* like teenage pregnancy). Many guys would run away from the responsibility on his shoulders at his age, but he carries them with strength. Especially as He’s growing closer to God.

6 years ago he saw me sitting alone at a bus stop at Appalachian State University and thought, “Some how I’ll know that girl.” Who would of thought I would end up his wife and we’d have this beautiful life together now? So thankful for God bringing him into my life!

I love you too, punk. Thanks for all you do and all you are.

As I opened my blinds this morning at 7:30, I knew I’d see them today. It had the early-morning-heavenly-sunlight-glow about it. As I was feeding Jaxson his oatmeal, sure enough one came out and then another…and another. Sometimes we see up to 6 deer at a time as they leap over the fence from their forest home to my grassy backyard.

The first day I saw them was just a few months ago when I was taking my trash out the back door, I stepped out with my bag and stopped. I was shocked to see a deer staring back at me a few feet away. I froze, willing the deer to stay and hoping I wouldn’t scare her as I went about my chore. The deer stopped and stared back for a few seconds and then went back to her gentle eating, trusting me not to harm her. It’s always a treat for us when they come, our whole family will stand at our kitchen windows and watch them in amazement at such peaceful creatures that seem to trust us with their presence.

So today, I’m thankful for deer in my back yard. Its like a love note from God, He knows how much it delights my family!

I’ll be honest…chocolate is one of my favorite things ever.

Dark, milk, semi-sweet, chocolate with caramel or peanut butter, truffles, chocolate ice cream, chocolate cake. Doesn’t matter…I just love it. Yum. (Not white chocolate though, yuck.)

Its kinda sad at times how happy chocolate makes my taste buds. I have to keep the whole moderation issue in check with my chocolate love. Some times Mark jokes that I like it more than him!

Tonight, I’m thankful for chocolate and how the simple joy of an awesome tasting treat can make my day just a little bit better.