You guessed it,  I’m still hanging in there. I think I did a lot of my grieving in the days after finding out that the babies might not live after the first ultrasound, so finding out on Monday that it was what they expected didn’t hit me as hard.  I still feel the cycles of grief, ranging from sorrow to anger, but for the most part I’m doing fine.  I still have no signs of a miscarriage, which probably is the hardest thing right now because, guys, I’m carrying around dead babies and that’s just weird to think about.  Based on the growth of the ultrasound Monday, it’s probably been well over a week since the one with a heartbeat passed away and we’re easily stretching into two weeks.  I’ve read about women taking as long as 6 weeks before it happened naturally, or they went in for a D&C.  I’m not ready to go for surgery yet, so I will continue to wait for God’s timing. I trust He has this in control as well and has a time for the final end.

Thankfully, we’re going to the beach this weekend, and really it could not come at a more needed time.  Not that being out of school and spending my days now reading books and playing with Savannah isn’t relaxing right now, but my soul longs to be at the beach. It always draws me closer to God as I sit in the sand, in awe of the ocean’s majesticness and that He created it all.

And in other good news, Mark is offically a college graduate, finishing with 3 A’s and 2 B’s (I’m quite proud!). And, I’m offically a senior finishing with 3 B’s and 2 A’s.  I’ve fallen a little lower on the grading scale since my sophmore year of straight A’s, but I’m assuming it’s because the classes are getting harder now and I’m thrilled to even just pass some of the classes!  I’m so happy that I am now done with British Lit, Spanish, and Math forever.  It’s a much welcomed day, as those topics were not my favorite what so ever but were required. It’s all English classes and Women’s studies for the next year :-)  It’s hard to believe I’m hitting the home stretch, it seemed forever away and now it’s so close I can feel it.  And really, it seems just like yesterday I was graduating high school, where have the past 4 years gone?!

I probably won’t be around until we get back from the beach, so have a wonderful weekend and week!