We Need Help.

April 29, 2009 | Filed in: Food,Issues,Motherhood,Savannah,Sleep

Ok yall, this past month has proven to be a trying one for us regarding Savannah. Maybe it has something to do with “knowing” something is different with a new baby coming, maybe it’s just the fact that she’s 2 and fighting for any control she can get. But, whatever it is, please help!

1) She won’t eat. While this isn’t exactly a “new” thing, it’s normal for her to go through phases of not eating much and then suddenly being a pig again. The doctor has never been worried because it’s normal for kids to be like that and we figure she’ll eat when she’ hungry (heck, I’m the same way!). But for the past month she seriously refuses to eat, resulting in weight loss. Now, Savannah is already REALLY small for her age (like me) so she can’t afford to lose more weight than she already doesn’t have. She asks for one thing and then asks for another, I used to oblige in hopes she would eat, but then I just end up with 2 plates of not touched wasted food.

She also suddenly is REALLY picky about what she will eat. The foods she used to love, she now won’t touch or will only eat a bite or two. She used to love meats as long as it had ketchup on it. Now all she will eat is fruit and veggies, which while it is healthy for her, it is NOT filling. Which leads me to my next issue…

2) She won’t sleep. I know I’ve said a million times that we’ve always had some kind of sleep issue or another with her. But usually those sleep phases are short lived and has reasons to them like sickness or teething. This time? She is not sick, and all her teeth are in so the only conclusion I can find is that she is just scared and REALLY dependent on Mark or I being in the room with her while she sleeps, and I think she keeps waking up at night because she didn’t eat dinner, so she’s hungry (she always asks for a “sanwich” in the middle of the night). Also, I’ve found that the rare times she DOES eat a good dinner, her night wake up calls happens later (11pm versus 3 or 4am). So I’m sure hunger has to do with part of it.

And then, back to the issue of her being scared or just dependent on us. I don’t know what to do about this. We’ve battled this a million times in her 2 years of life, usually crying it out or giving in is our only options. But, this time crying it out leads to me being awake for 2 hours in the middle of the night because SHE won’t give in. Or even if I sit in there with her until she falls asleep, it takes her atleast an hour or two for her to fall back asleep. But, if one of us goes in there to sleep (and lays down on the bed versus sitting on the floor) she’ll go right out. So basically, my husband and I haven’t slept in the same bed in weeks and I hate it. I also can’t remember the last night we slept the whole night through, which is sad. I’m not used to this lifestyle anymore (guess she’s preparing me early for our December arrival?).

In the past we kind of “weaned” her from how long we would stay in there while she was falling asleep but she will NOT have that now. If she cannot see us, even with the door wide open and she can hear us say “We’re right here” she freaks out. She has to know that we are physially right by her to go to sleep. She has to absolutely be asleep for us to be able to leave the room (or we just fall asleep there…) I can’t do this forever.

What to do? Help us!

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I’ve had similar problems with Madeline and we’ve found that she does SO much better at night time when she’s had a really active day. Whether it’s outside play or just one activity inside after another, she is ready for bed and sleeps really well.

Also, in terms of nutrition…..our doctor has always told us, find what she likes and will almost always eat, and pack as much vitamins/nutrition into it as you can. You can hide beans and carrots and spinach in just about anything. :) Does she like yogurt? Greek yogurt has 5x the protein of regular yogurt and it tastes really good too. Mix some of the fruit she loves into it and it’s REALLY nutritious. Or what about peanut butter and jelly? If you get the pb and jelly without HFCS and good whole wheat bread ( I really like the Ezekial 15 bread) it is a really healthy meal.

Have you asked your pediatrician to refer you to a dietician?

Also, check out this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Deceptively-Delicious-Simple-Secrets-Eating/dp/006176793X/ref=pd_bbs_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1241050890&sr=8-1

No advice – just thinking of you hon. It sounds like just an age thing. But it totally sucks for both of you

my mom bought my son a big alligator the size of me and he really likes it, he snuggles with it! maybe finding something big like this might help. just a suggestion.

Hello! Just started reading from Twitter and had to comment on this post. My son is 17 months and I too am expecting (I am due the 19th of July) I am trying my damnedest to get him into a better routine. But it seems that every night he is right back in my bed. I WANT MY BED BACK TOO!!! What is it that she could be afraid of aside from simply being alone? Does she have a stuffed animal or something that you might be able to get her to see as something other than mommy or daddy to keep her company while she sleeps?
Some doctors say as long as everyone’s getting enough sleep that’s the best but I don’t know how much I agree with that. I let my son cry it out as much as I can ’cause I know he’ll be exhausted after falling asleep crying but I hate to do it.

Stay strong – keep updated.

I just thought I would let you know that Kelyn never sleeps right either. We are constantly learning new sleep patters (when she wakes up during the night). Not to mention that it doesn’t matter what time I put her to bed she wakes up anywhere from 4:30am to 5am. I would love to sleep in! I hope things get better for you.

She may not be scared of anything, just dependent on not being alone. I think that the idea of getting her really busy during the day will #1 help her sleep and #2 make her more hungry (which will help her sleep if she eats). Don’t worry too much about the food thing yet. They all go through spurts and if she just finished a good eating one, the drop in appetite seems much more dramatic. I remember thinking that my kids were going to starve because the change in their eating habits was so shocking. But they didn’t! I think that the key is getting her busy. Another thing to think about is what kind of nap is she getting during the day? It may be time to adjust that to a shorter one or just have a quiet lay down with mom and read for 30 minutes or so. You can get books on tape at the library and lay on the bed and listen for 30 – 45 minutes instead of having her sleep for an hour or more. Just ideas!

So, hold on hon. I am a young mother of 3 and have learned lessons with each chid. My oldest is 9.5 right now but when he was born I was a single moma nd co-sept with him untill he was 3…and then fought it for a yr to get him to sleep on his own. With my almost 4 yr old daughter I vowed there was no way I was going to co-seep after earning with him and I never did….she slept very well…or well enough for 2 yrs but a few weeks before she turned 2…she stopped…she wouldn’t go to sleep without screaming for hours…and I am a firm believer in crying it out but she would cry and hit the door and go nuts for hours if I let her. I tried for months to try diff. things. I tried to punish, let her cry, bribing, threatening..anything i could think of to allow me to get to bed and then to be able to sleep as shes wake up and much ike ur daughter woud not go to sleep…but she didn’t want me to sleep with her but wanted me in there. At first I could deal…I had had less sleep before..but after some time it became exuasting, tiresome and well I missed my sex life…lol..and when i could have it I was too darn tired to do it. I beieve I even wrote about this on my blog…because every night until like midnight you could find me banging my head against the wall- trying to figure out “what was I doing soo wrong” and I couldn’t put my finger on it…and I hope this helps you…but one day…amost a yr later…she just went to bed…without a single tear or word…then another night the same things…and from there she just began doing it. I was in shock- I had just written the blog a few days before..pleading…I’m not perfect…I’m soo lost…and I’m not a first time mom…LOL. So, I am going to pray that this does not happen to you…as far as it being a yr…but hold strong and try each night to stay in there less and less…or to offer rewards if she can understand them…by saying if you sleep good tonight and remind it to her when you go in there…then mommy will make you “this” or you can have a piece of gum…I wasn’t against rewarding at all…and many time it worked…and those times…I cherished the sleep I might of bought her a camel…lol Also have you tried putting a fan or some music in her room for her to sleep to…I know many pple use tv’s which i dont personaly like…but heck they are sleeping…lol..but maybe some music or some white noise might help…and wearing her out more during the day.

On the eating part….my daughter will be 4 in July and she weighs 24 pounds…she is very tiny as you can see in my blog…but she aso go through spurts to where I am happy if she eats a teaspoon of each food offered to her…and sometimes thats pushing it….then sometimes she eats very well…the same food offered before. Something that might help as far as nutrients and the protein..is if she likes milk…which almost every 2 yr old daoes..offer her more milk and aso ensure for kids…these are packed with nutrients. I offer these to my daughter when she hasn’t been eating well..but really shows no signs of being “hungry” As far as nights…maybe try to give her an ensure or oatmea or something like a pasta ot cereal before bed..if she wont eat..try an ensure to fill her a bit more then just milk.

So, I hope this helps….I will be praying for you as my spree with this just ended about 6 months ago…so i fee for you…for some reason my 2.5 yr old never went through this…knock on wood!!!

Hey Leah! I was reading through your blogs and noticed this one. My sister has a 2 1/2 year old who is very small, too. She went through a stage like this, too, when she was a little younger. Her weight loss began to concern doctors. She didn’t like any of the substitute drinks except for Carnation Instant Breakfast. She started drinking a cup of it every morning, but then she loved it so much that it turned into morning and night. Good source of protein if Savannah ends up liking it! I like it, too. Now, my niece calls it “mutt”…no one knows where that came from. Chocolate milk is still “chocolate milk”, but carnation instant breakfast is mutt. LOL. Good luck.

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