Our church showed this video a few weeks ago, it struck me then, and it still does today as I listen to what she is saying. It’s a modern take on the “Woman at the Well” story from the book of John in the Bible. I’m struggling yet again with turning to God for all things. For guidance, patience, parenting advice, financial suggestions, job leadings, relationship counseling, a healer, for gentle whispers to just be still, breathe and know He is God. I feel like I post about this at least once a month now, and that frustrates me that I keep taking my heart and eyes off of Him above and back onto me. I’m selfish, it’s that simple.

I watch this video and wish I had the passion that this woman does speaking, and also like the woman in the story. I wish that I could freely take the “living water” Jesus offers and just let it be instead of accepting it, taking a sip, and then refusing. Maybe refusing isn’t the right word, more like, hesitant. It’s not that I completely disobey and do not believe in Christ. It’s not that I don’t believe in His awesome power, forgiveness, healing, etc. as I have tasted and seen His awesome works and ways. He’s always been faithful and provided for me.

But then, why can’t I keep myself focused on who He is? Am I running scared of being “known”? I know He already knows what this heart contains, my past, my sins, yet I’m scared to be vulnerable. Perhaps I’m running scared of what I know God is calling me to do (of what that is? I’m not sure, but I know it’s big some how. Even if it’s just dealing with my past, that’s big in my world). I feel like when I was pregnant at 16, scared and running the opposite direction (in circles, really) trying to escape what I knew was right. I’ve experienced acceptance of God’s will and seen God’s hand at work in my life before. I’ve seen His grace and miracles. I know what it’s like to just bask in His love, knowing life is much sweeter with Him beside me. Yet, I still run and hide at times. Why? For control, that’s why.

Maybe none of this seem relevant to this video to you, but for me, this video makes me feel a calling back. A calling that says, “to be known is to be loved and to loved is to be known” and that shouldn’t be a scary place to be. It should be a good thing. That I may just be one small girl that often feels unclean with my past stains, yet Jesus made me clean. That I may isolate myself, but He’s still with me whether I chose to acknowledge Him or not. It’s me that separates myself from Christ, not Him that turns away from me.

So here we go yet again, working on priorities. Working on my prayer relationship and spending time with God in His word. I know without Him, I cannot be the best parent, wife, student…anything without Him. (I just wish I could remember that!)

What does this video say to you?