Ever since I did my speech on Saturday, besides the confidence boost, I’ve also had a heavy heart. Coincidently Mrs. R has had the same thoughts going on and her post spoke of it well.

She put up a great article by Adoption Option, Old Think vs. New Think, for questions expectant moms may have regarding adoption:

If I find myself unexpectedly pregnant, abortion and single parenting are my only choices.

There is a third choice, one that has proven to be a success for birth mothers and children–the adoption option.

I would never consider adoption–it would be too hard.

Which ever choice you make will present many hardships–adoption may be no more difficult than abortion or single parenting.

My friends and family will think I’m terrible giving up my own flesh and blood.

Adoption is not “giving up,” it is giving to–a decision you have carefully made out of love for the future of your child and yourself.

I’ll never know what happened to my baby. I simply couldn’t live that way.

The old way of doing adoptions (secrecy and no control) is out. The new way–open adoption–allows you to make the decisions regarding the future of your child and yourself. (refer to Glossary of Adoption Terms and “Kristina’s Story”)

Why adoption? Isn’t it just for people who can’t have their own kids?

Not necessarily true. Yes, some people cannot biologically conceive, but adoption provides a family for a child, not a child for a family.

Kids who are adopted have lots of problems.

Not founded in fact. Refer to the Search Institute Study. Children who are adopted have, among other characteristics, high self-esteem and positive identity concerns at rates as high or higher than their peers.

(I would add that yea, some children do have issues, but I think a lot of that depends on the openess of the adoption and the family that is chosen to parent. My experience? Kaylee, as well as the other adopted kids I know, are as normal as can be.)

What about me? I feel it’s my responsibility to raise my child.

Your responsibility is to make the very best and informed decision that you can for your child. Studies show that birth mothers who make an adoption plan typically move on with their life, finish their education, have a career, and eventually marry.

My heart just breaks for young moms and their children, like the ones I mingled with this weekend, that end up feeling hopeless. And it reflects in their attitudes and their relationship with their child. I just hope and pray that some how they get back on track. I’m not saying adoption is the answer to an issue, it’s just one to better lives. It seems like many young moms decide against adoption and still don’t attempt to better their lives in any way. They end up still on the same dead path with abusive boyfriends and living in poverty. What kind of life is that? Doesn’t sound like fun to me. I wish people could see the potential in themselves to make things better in one way or another.

No path in life is easy, but some things are worth a little pain to gain more–and give more–in life.