Even way back in Elementary school, I wanted to grow up to be a writer. Of course, that plan strayed a little bit through high school as I moved from teacher to interior designer to social worker. But now? I’m back to the root of me: writing.

I do want to write books some day, it’s been a dream of mine for years. I’ve always got ideas bouncing in my head, I’ve got a passion for what I write about, I just love to write. It’d be a dream to get these thoughts on paper, in the bookstore, and into the hands of a reader. To inspire others. For now, this blog is that for me and it’s thrilling!

However, a part of that writing lifestyle I dream about is speaking. How so, you ask? Think about it. A writer doesn’t just sit at a pretty little desk thinking and typing her (or his) day away. Yeah, for a while they do, but then the book is published and there are things to do to promote it. There are book signings, conferences to speak at, press conferences, etc. The problem? I’m a very behind the scenes girl, that’s why I love to write. I get my voice, stories and ideas out there but my face and nerves are left out. Speaking is one of my worst fears, it binds me in nerves. I talk too fast, I goof up. I even cry some times. It’s not a good sight.

Recently Mark and I spent a while talking about how I know this is direction God is leading me in life. I know I am meant to write and I can just see myself up on stage encouraging young women. I want to get to that point, but it’s hard to get past my fears. Mark told me how he used to be the same way in high school, but he new he wanted to be a young leader of some sort and prayed that God would give him opportunities to become more comfortable in that role. And He’s done just that! For example, this weekend at the conference he was the leader for our small group and did a wonderful job.

I guess God took this discussion between me and Mark as a “go”to start working on me. After class today a classmate approached me (knowing that I have a daughter and has continued with school) asking if I would be willing to speak to a group of pregnant high school girls encouraging them to continue their education. I said yes. For some reason, the thought doesn’t send my nerves in crazy directions, I’m calm about it. I know I can do it. It’s an excellent opportunity to work on my speaking skills. But more importantly? It’s an opportunity to help inspire these girls in places that I’ve been in twice and encourage them to move on in a better life style with an education. That is an honor.

What’s also a little coincidence? I just wrote an essay for an online magazine about this very topic, being a student mommy. So, that means I’ve already got the bases of my speech ready to go, which calms my nerves even more. God is so good!

It’s not until March 15th, but I’m already preparing and praying that He can work through me and give me the confidence I need. And of course, help prepare these girl’s hearts for our message (cause really, I know how tough it is to be a mommy AND a student along with everything else life demands). Continue preparing me, Lord.